What's all this coffee shit about, anyway? You want a morning routine, I've got one for you:
Step one: wake up next to a gorgeous Vint. Make him mad cause you tease him about his mustache being skewed. Step two: get kicked out of bed. Take a cold shower. Step three: have your lieutenant hit you with a stick a dozen or so times. Step four: skip the coffee and go straight to the shit that'll put hair on your balls. EVERYBODY likes hairy balls. OH yeah, throw in some shit about bathing in the blood of your enemies and jacking off to dragons and you're more awake than you've ever been.