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WHO: Woodrow and Eugene
WHEN: Over the years
WHERE: Various locations
SUMMARY: Woodrow and Eugene bond over various beginnings in Woodrow’s life.
WARNINGS: Hints of infidelity.

( “Heck, she could have named it after my bunion for all I care. “Least Mitzi’s got a zing to it…” )

Saturday night, Rhett hired CAMILA MARPLE to be his new assistant. He also hired WOODROW MAYFAIR as his Chief Advisor. (Which is a title that Rhett made up in order to hire Woodrow Mayfair and will really be like a secondary assistant position.) He had PENNY DALE elected to be Cora instead of his assistant. He wrote SAM ARQUETTE a very nice letter explaining that while she did not have the experience this round, he'd keep her on file. Rhett also casually suggested to Penny Dale that she hire DASH EXELY as her assistant and got Dash in contact with the Lightning Bug wardrobe department in case they could use him.

All of the applicants who were given an audition received a check for $400 for their time.

Today is Woodrow's trial day as Rhett's assistant! This means that Woodrow controls Rhett's schedule and gets to field his stuff.

It's going to be a great day.

Woodrow starts off the day by bringing Rhett one of these bad boys.

After being filled in that there are some auditions to do today, Woody would have thought that was pretty rad and would have said he didn't prepare anything to monologue, but he can wing it just fine.

Obviously Woody had nothing to do with the auditions, and while Rhett was busy he would have spent his time replying to various texts and calls, etc (header option below!).

He looked through Rhett's schedule and cancelled his appointment with VOLUNTEER ONE (phone call opportunity in the headers below), so that they could go out to feed the ducks for 30 minutes instead. "It's therapeutic and you look like you need to unwind, son." If anyone tried to text Rhett Wyatt during this time, they got a, "I'm out living my best life by being the worst to get a hold of. Peace and love."

He brought a bag of (unfrozen) peas with him instead of bread, like a good duck feeder.

If any tourists tried to hassle Rhett, Woodrow offered them peas to feed the ducks as well. If they were rude, they got peas flicked at them. At some point, possibly even Woodrow did a little bit of roleplaying and was like, "GET DOWN MR. PRESIDENT, haha, I'm just kidding."

In the late afternoon, after duck feeding, Woodrow also contacted VOLUNTEER TWO to see if they wanted to have a chat with Rhett Wyatt. Woody has a feeling Rhett doesn't get out much, you see, and thinks he could use a little bit of spontaneity in his life. It's the reason why he also called GIVE ME A LOCATION, SOMEONE to see if he could order no less than a dozen GIVE ME AN ITEM, SOMEONE, because he felt it's exactly what Rhett needs in his life.

He walked Rhett back home and after debriefing him about any messages received, he would have gone to get his mail and would have handed it off to him.

And then asked if he wanted some dinner and that he would cook it for him. He DID own and operate Mitzi's for years, after all.

This kid is staying in my house.

The phrase “killing time” is ironic because it’s really time that’s killing you.

WHO: Gregory Marple and Woodrow Mayfair
WHEN: 6/6, afternoon
WHERE: Strolling along Fall City
SUMMARY: Two old men walk their dogs and discuss recent events.
WARNINGS: Talk of murder, satan, and cholesterol.

( Well, people are murdered every day. )

When you're retired, every day is Saturday.

What's this I heard about peacocks and handbags?

What's this I'm hearing about a party?

WHO: Woodrow Mayfair & Lauren Lynch
WHEN: November 20th, 2001 - near midnight
WHERE: Mitzi's diner
SUMMARY: Woody gives Lauren well-needed advice
WARNINGS: N/A

( 'Do you ever think about how easy it could be to ruin your life?' )

WHO: Woodrow and Kennedy Mayfair.
WHEN: Spans seventeen years.
WHERE: Several!
SUMMARY: Woodrow Mayfair is the best worst dad ever.
WARNINGS: Very small hint of drug dependency.

( And if you find yourself struggling with student loans, it’s better to file for bankruptcy early. )

I'M THINKING OF A NUMBER BETWEEN 1 and 100

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