casefile, rpg community

20-27, July 2018

Early Friday morning, before almost anyone woke up, Bishop set out two garden gnomes in the front lawn of the Haham’s St. John home. They were placed in a sexually suggestive position. VOLUNTEER 1 disliked this lawn exhibit and reported this incident to the St. John housing association as a potential violation of policy. While others may have been permitted to get away with unapproved lawn decor, for Halloween or Christmas or because it was something inoffensive and tame, VOLUNTEER 2 sends Bishop (and Amita) a warning email to remove the gnomes within 5 business days or be fined.

The next morning, three more gnomes, placed in suggestive positions, are set on the lawn. The reporting cycle continues, and each day the emails get more and more exasperated as there are more and more sexually suggestive gnomes on the lawn. There are children! This violates even more housing association policies (see Allowed Quantities of Lawn Decor page 7, Appropriate Lawn Decor Positions page 9, even Sexually Explicit Lawn Decor rule page 17). Four business days later, there is barely any lawn visible beneath the orgy of garden gnomes on the Haham’s lawn.

However, they are gone on the 5th business day to VOLUNTEER 2’s most sincere relief.

On the 27th of July, a pink flamingo lawn ornament wearing a thong stands sole sentry on the Haham’s lawn. Exasperated, the task of dealing with the issue gets handed off to VOLUNTEER 3.

What are everyone else's reactions? Laugh? Shake your head? Scour the internet for sexually explicit gnome sources? You can reach out to Bishop if you should like, for some reason, your own X-rated sexually explicit garden gnome. Or perhaps, thong-stylin' flamingo.

OOC: Inspiration/credit to this tumblr post.