casefile, rpg community

Monday morning Cherise Van Houten is the first person in line at 8am. If anyone asked she'd brush it off like 'Whaaat? Like you would want to go over to Snoqualmie to get gas before you get your morning coffee? Please! But the truth is that Cherise has a deep dark secret, one that would allow Monica to kick her out of the Fall City Ladies Welfare and Haircare Club for sure, and that secret is a deep and abiding love of cheesy nachos that cannot be denied. Unless anyone sees her. Then she is denying it. These nachos are for her younger brother! And she wouldn't even be in here, she'd be paying at the pump, but her card 'didn't work' and that is not Cherise's fault. And that was the tale she started to spin to the person behind the counter, before she realized that it was TRAILER WOLFE.

After eating a few nachos in shame and disposing of any evidence before anyone from the salon could catch her, Cherise's next stop is Common Grounds. Trailer Wolfe is very much on her mind and she has no idea how he even had that much money or what his connection to Eugene was. And if he could buy a gas station, why not buy a house? He's good looking. A house could change his life! Cherise definitely needs to talk about how Matt owns the gas station and get some feedback in case someone else knows more. She ends up discussing the new ownership and what it could mean to every single person she encounters at the coffee shop and anyone else on her path to the salon.

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The next morning, three more gnomes, placed in suggestive positions, are set on the lawn. The reporting cycle continues, and each day the emails get more and more exasperated as there are more and more sexually suggestive gnomes on the lawn. There are children! This violates even more housing association policies (see Allowed Quantities of Lawn Decor page 7, Appropriate Lawn Decor Positions page 9, even Sexually Explicit Lawn Decor rule page 17). Four business days later, there is barely any lawn visible beneath the orgy of garden gnomes on the Haham’s lawn.

However, they are gone on the 5th business day to VOLUNTEER 2’s most sincere relief.

On the 27th of July, a pink flamingo lawn ornament wearing a thong stands sole sentry on the Haham’s lawn. Exasperated, the task of dealing with the issue gets handed off to VOLUNTEER 3.

What are everyone else's reactions? Laugh? Shake your head? Scour the internet for sexually explicit gnome sources? You can reach out to Bishop if you should like, for some reason, your own X-rated sexually explicit garden gnome. Or perhaps, thong-stylin' flamingo.

OOC: Inspiration/credit to this tumblr post.