May 2016



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May. 12th, 2016


What's all this coffee shit about, anyway? You want a morning routine, I've got one for you:

Step one: wake up next to a gorgeous Vint. Make him mad cause you tease him about his mustache being skewed.
Step two: get kicked out of bed. Take a cold shower.
Step three: have your lieutenant hit you with a stick a dozen or so times.
Step four: skip the coffee and go straight to the shit that'll put hair on your balls. EVERYBODY likes hairy balls.
OH yeah, throw in some shit about bathing in the blood of your enemies and jacking off to dragons and you're more awake than you've ever been.

You're welcome.

May. 3rd, 2016


Is anyone else really, really confused by the suddenly vocal wave of antipathy for the Grounders? Did I miss a memo? Did someone draw penises on Councilor Wolverine's face while he was sleeping? Did one of them bring a bag of salad to a Superbowl party? Not to mention that "the Grounders" is a really broad term for numerous and diverse tribes with their own sets of rules, alliances, and cultures.

I'm good with hating people - it's my fav! - but generally I like to be in the know on the why.

Also, to continue the tone of this combative entry, The Princess Bride is mediocre at best and you guys can come at me.

Apr. 22nd, 2016


Somebody get Alison to sit down before she reads this. And nobody give her a gun. (I'm looking at you, Aramis.)

Anybody got advice on recovering a voice that's gone all croaky and nonexistent? I've already got a belly ache from too much honey in my tea.

Apr. 19th, 2016


[ Filtered to Law Enforcement ]

I've solved the the case of the missing file. You're not going to like it. Good news - we got the right guy on the Spellman robbery itself. Bad news is that Law Enforcement Officer Raul Hatchett was having an affair with Eva Wentz and left a belt that can clearly be seen in one of the crime scene photos of the Spellman residence. He took the file to avoid the news of the affair getting out, which-- oopsie.

He's currently locked in the utility closet outside the kitchens. Don't worry, my brawny-yet-sensitive boyfriend is standing in front of the door and and waiting for you guys to arrest him. Hatchett's confessed to everything, which from what I understand is enough grounds to release him without trial because he's a nice guy, but I figured I'd let you people do some paperwork for once.

(Incidentally, I'd figured it out before Storybrooke, but I didn't have time to get the confession I needed before being whisked away on a magical adventure full of love and light. Also incidentally, unless you have a comment about this case, don't poke the bear. Today is not a good day, and tomorrow's not looking great either. Thank you.)

[ /Filter ]

[ Filtered to Stacker Pentecost ]

I've already spoken to Fenris about this, but if you'd like, I wouldn't mind staying friends. We don't have to be nice friends. We can be wryly-observant obnoxious friends, like Statler and Waldorf. Let me know.

[ /Filter ]

Filtered Private: TRIGGER WARNING for mentions of rape )

Apr. 18th, 2016


network; asala adaar (038)

The next time one of you wants to use big magic or a big powerful ability and you're not sure exactly what it will do, don't. There will be consequences for this flagrant misuse of magic, regardless of intent, and you can assume for the immediate future that I am not the authority figure to come to with your sad little feelings about how intent somehow negates consequences just because one of you could be the next ones to fuck it up.

This isn't prejudice. This isn't someone who's anti-magic cracking down on anyone. This is a powerful mage reminding you all that magic has its price, that anybody using magic or powers has a responsibility to use them in a way that does the least amount of harm to innocent people. We were given gifts, whether through accidents of birth or circumstance or through our own desires, and those gifts come with a significant burden. There are people here who could lobotomize the population, who could crush the mountain in a bad temper, or who could tear this place apart in a moment of unbridled power. It's our responsibility to make sure that those things don't happen, either intentionally or by accident, and it is our fault when mistakes happen.

As a Council member, I can promise you that charges will be pressed and that every police report filed about this incident will be taken into account. If you've suffered any kind of physical or psychological trauma as a result of the last three weeks, set up a time with anyone working in Law Enforcement who was not also a victim of this magic; it will take some time to get all of them squared away with the reparation efforts going on from the goblin attack that we missed, but you will be listened to and justice will be served, I swear it.

As a person who has had her mind and her life thoroughly fucked with recently, if you can't find me for whatever reason in the immediate future, you can assume I'm elbow-deep in none-of-your-business and not interested in receiving any visitors.

ETA: Because people keep asking this as if I'm calling for blood: yes, of course intent will matter when charges are eventually leveled. I'm saying that damage was done regardless of whether or not it was intended to. The idea that actions have consequences should not be nearly as surprising as it appears to be.

And no, of course nobody is in any danger here. We do not physically punish or kill the guilty in this community, as per the legal system we were asked to create. I'm promising justice and an application of the court system we've created, not a goddamn witch hunt, and if you read "witch hunt" from "charges will be pressed", then that's a personal perception you need to work on, because that is not what I said. Not even a little.

I find it very distressing how much focus is going into making excuses for someone who cast awful magic and hurt others than is going into having some compassion for the people she hurt, especially when she's admitted that she did cause harm. Respect her honesty enough to take the damage seriously instead of trying to act as if it's less severe just because she feels bad about it.

Apr. 17th, 2016


WHO: Veronica Mars and Cullen Rutherford
WHEN: April 17th, after everyone comes back.
WHERE: Cullen's room and just outside of it
WHAT: A happy reunion leads to some unpleasant confessions on both sides.
WARNING: TRIGGER WARNING for references to rape, date-rape drugs, and mind control

Why not goblins? Hell, at this point she was half-expecting David Bowie in a teased wig and tight pants to show and sing her a song about magic. )

Apr. 14th, 2016


storybrooke; carlos ramirez

Gooooooooooooood Morning, Weatherbrooke!

Traffic? Hah! Weather? Great! That's your morning report. Now, we're having a contest here at 99.7 KTKZ and you're all invited. Because we care, amigos y amigas. You may have heard that there's an X Ambassadors concert on May 10th over in Portland. It just so happens that we have front row tickets and backstage passes available.

Now, we're not going to do the regular 10th caller thing, oh no. Since their number 1 song is Renegades, which we'll play at the top of each hour today, we want you to submit stories of the most REBEL, RENEGAGE, PRANKTASTIC thing you've ever done. We'll select the winner tomorrow morning and feature it out on our website and our Facebook page!

Ready? Go!

I think you already know I get my own pair of tickets and I've already got a +1 in mind. You down?

Apr. 3rd, 2016


STORYBROOKE; Veronica Marlowe + Carlos Ramirez

» My Dads and I are proud to present to you 1 (ONE) lunch invitation for sometime today.
» Burgers, fries, and intimidation.
» There may be weapons; there will absolutely be some hearty side-eye in your direction.
» Feeling brave, compadre?

Apr. 1st, 2016


Storybrooke: The Faculty Meeting

[Filter to Moira, Dorian, and Catherine]
Faculty meeting, 4:30, The Rabbit Hole.

First class of the day, student tries to bullshit like he read Simulacra and Simulation. Spoiler alert: He did not. Baudrillard is half bullshit already, it isn't even hard to fake like you have any idea what the fuck is going on. Just fucking skim it! I've never been so disappointed with attempted bullshit in all my life.

I miss Spring Break.

[Filter to Veronica]
Hey sugar - are you bringing the boy with you for Sunday dinner? I'm asking so I can do the shopping, not so I can conveniently be cleaning my guns when you get there.

[Filter to Stacker]
Hey baby - I'm calling a faculty meeting this afternoon. Come on by the Rabbit Hole if you got time.

Mar. 29th, 2016


Network Post

[Command + Pevensies + Legal + Law Enforcement + Containment Team + Bethany Hawke]
Will the Witch's wand be needed any further for the trial or in helping heal the statues? If not, we should dispose of it now.
[Private - following this]
Peter would not have done it this way. Aslan may not most likely would not approve. Perhaps that's why He I know better than that. He will come when He comes, and that time will be best. If He doesn't come, He will send.

Ceding control is still the hardest. I can think of very little I would do differently.
Added late March 29
[Shepherd Book]
Are you free to speak, or to write rather, tonight?
Added early March 30
[Reyna and Jacob]
So. I'm doing something foolish.

Mar. 28th, 2016


As I look upon the attitudes of our people and the preparations they have begun, I have but one thought: this witch has picked the wrong mountain to bother.

[Filter to Bravo Soldiers]
A siege will always come to a battle eventually. But this is what we train for, and the advantage always lies with the besieged. We will emerge victorious from this fight as we have from all the others.

For the purpose of this engagement, if I should be unable to give orders: ranged fighters, look to Susan. She knows this enemy. Melee fighters, look to Logan.

You are some of the finest warriors I've had the pleasure of serving with, and I have no doubt that I will see every one of you upright and breathing after this witch and her horde are beaten back. In the meantime, make your weapons ready, and sleep and eat whenever you get the chance - we have no idea when the next opportunity may be. And while I don't think I need to say this to any of you, I will say it anyway: for the love of the Maker, save your drinking rations until the battle is done.

[Filter to Susan Pevensie]
You have handled everything exactly as a warrior queen ought. I hope you are as proud of yourself as you deserve.

[Filter to Veronica]
Would you mind if I come to see you tonight? We haven't gone to odd shifts yet, and it's likely my last chance before the real trouble starts.

Mar. 23rd, 2016


before you ask i didn't do anything to the strawberries
but some people might be allergic, meaning they could go into post-apocalyptic anaphylactic shock and die

because of strawberries, so i am not hating this strawberry free zone

Mar. 22nd, 2016


Well, shit. Come on. How is it seriously bad luck to wish someone good luck? That's bloody stupid.

I mean, I am sorry if this place and its weirdness means that really was my fault, but help me out here, Poe. Alison is probably gonna murder me in my sleep.


[Chatty to Veronica]
>> Would Backup like to go fishing?
>> You can come, too.
>> I suppose.

Mar. 16th, 2016


It wasn't me. I SWEAR.

Mar. 14th, 2016


[ Filtered to Law Enforcement + Admin ]

Hey, did someone check out the Spellman file and forget to log it? It's not here.

For those of you just joining us: Amerigo Spellman of the Skaikru had the room he shared with his girlfriend (Eve Wentz) broken into last April. Some basic supplies including a gun was taken. The case was closed by our stellar Law Enforcement staff (gold stars, guys) but the file itself isn't where it should be.

Sooooo.......? Grabby hands.

[ OOC - Stolen file as per today's plot! Your character won't have it nor know who does. Veronica on the case! ]

[ /Filter ]

[ Filtered to Cullen ]

I have two meals to go and my best "tell me about your day, kid" face on. Dinner?

[ /Filter ]



There's a HUNDRED of you with freaky powers so go figure out how to stop it from snowing

Mar. 11th, 2016


[Filter to Military Squad Bravo]
Medical has found recent evidence of an infection that is resistant both to antibiotics and to magic. We are all under orders to report to Medical with any wound that breaks the skin, no matter how minor. Even if you would ordinarily call it "just a scratch" and forget about it, report to Medical immediately. It may mean your life or someone else's. Logan, I know this isn't likely to apply to you, as most any wound you receive would heal itself before you could even reach Medical, but please note if you find that the process ever happens to take longer than you would normally expect.

[Filter to Cassandra]
Entirely too many of our people have smirked at me today for it to be coincidence. I should have been more suspicious when a request to Varric was met with "sure" instead of "what's it worth to you?"

[Filter to Veronica]
I assume word of Mount Weather's latest bad luck has reached your department, as well?

Mar. 9th, 2016


Didn't that lady just post about not accepting damn food from strangers and now you're all lining up to feed your coffee addiction?

No wonder the fucking devil wins.

Mar. 7th, 2016


[Chatty to Veronica]
>> If you want my coffee, it's yours
>> Caffeine doesn't affect me anymore, so I won't miss it

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