May 2016



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May. 12th, 2016


What's all this coffee shit about, anyway? You want a morning routine, I've got one for you:

Step one: wake up next to a gorgeous Vint. Make him mad cause you tease him about his mustache being skewed.
Step two: get kicked out of bed. Take a cold shower.
Step three: have your lieutenant hit you with a stick a dozen or so times.
Step four: skip the coffee and go straight to the shit that'll put hair on your balls. EVERYBODY likes hairy balls.
OH yeah, throw in some shit about bathing in the blood of your enemies and jacking off to dragons and you're more awake than you've ever been.

You're welcome.

May. 11th, 2016


Annnd now I remember some of the things I definitely wouldn't have missed while spending eternity alone in a monstrous watery hellscape.

[ cath ]
So are your options pretty limited, as far as moving goes?

May. 5th, 2016


network; asala adaar (041)

Someone guess what my favorite part of not being in the government is?

quick cut for baby stuff discussion! )

Something you want to get off your chest before you start a riot, or are you all right?

Apr. 22nd, 2016


Hey, get your asses to The Rose if you ain't already there. I'm not tracking you down after getting my ass handed to me in Fight Club tonight, so it's up to you losers to find your way.

Mandatory meeting, by the way. Inquisitor requested, I'm just her muscle.

[OOC: For Thedas peeps knowledge!]

Apr. 21st, 2016


I'm tired of people I care about disappearing unexpectedly, Hawke. Can you pull a Seeker out of your ass, just this once?
[Cullen & Bull]
Curly. Tiny. Cullen. Bull. I'm moping. I don't like moping. Get in a fight or something, I need a distraction. I'd even be open to you two demonstrating some creativity for entertainment purposes.

So. Where's the big-head dolls of Thedas? I feel left out. I think they're saying we're not pretty enough and I take offense for all of us. I mean, have you seen Dorian?

Apr. 18th, 2016


[ Filtered to The Iron Bull + Dorian ]

My mortification knows no bounds. I am so sorry to have been the cause of turmoil between you both. Had I been able to choose, I would not have done so, as you both seem like honourable men. I apologise profusely for my part in your upset of the past few weeks.

[ /Filter ]

Mount Weather, I have missed you.


Hiiii. I'm Judy Hopps. Officer Judy Hopps. I wasn't really expecting to wake up — here. I thooooought maybe I stepped on the wrong train and got off in Rainforest District, but this doesn't look like a rainforest at all. Lots of green, kind of wet, but not a rainforest.

Then they tell me I'm on Earth, but no one here looks like any animal I know at all. Never seen anyone like — what are you called? Forgive me if that sounds rude or unthinking, I've just never seen anything like you.

I'm an officer in law enforcement, so hello! I'm your new coworker. I REALLY hope I don't have to start all over with the token bunny stuff again

[...] There's no parking meters here, right?

Apr. 17th, 2016


Heh. You're welcome and sorry for flashing everybody at the gates. Don't think Dorian and I expected to have an audience.

Max, Chloe, hopin you two didn't go through our shit. I'll owe a few more apologies if you did.

We got the mage responsible in custody, or they still back in that town? See, this shit is why Qunari have the Arvaarad

Apr. 15th, 2016


!storybrooke; ben "the bull" irons

Hey hey, now that I'm a criminal and we've got the spring fling dance coming up, who wants to be my date?

Goes well with the eye patch, gotta keep up my string of being the bad boy, yeah? Yeah. I've got it on good authority that I'm a damn good date, and you get to ride on my pride and joy. You know you wanna.

Pretty damn sure it doesn't need to be said cause it's me, but I'm not gonna sit here and list my preferences. I like all people (except judgemental assholes) and I'm pansexual. You got a problem with that, and you can go elsewhere.

Apr. 14th, 2016


I'm so sorry.
I ain't taking this money. You got arrested 'cause of me, and I'm not letting you give me money for it.
I don't know what's going on anymore. I thought he liked me, but then — and now all this stuff with Ben punching him. And I heard he's going to press charges, and I can't let that happen to Papa Bull. He didn't do nothing but try and stand up for me.

Apr. 12th, 2016


!storybrooke; ben "the bull" irons

Know it ain't our night, but who wants to keep me busy tonight? Anybody need something fixed? Drinks? Bailed out? Bike fixed? Work with me here people.



Shouldn't fuckin be doing this.

He talk to you already?

Apr. 11th, 2016


Storybrooke log, Ben & Dorian

WHO: Dorian Grey (Pavus) & Ben Irons (Iron Bull)
WHEN: April 11th, tonight. Late.
WHERE: Ben’s place, Storybrooke.
WHAT: Dorian is a jerk and there’s a breakup and Ben is sad :(
WARNING: Uh, S for Sad. Because wow.

Without another glance back at him, he left. )

Apr. 5th, 2016


!storybrooke; ben "the bull" irons

So who wants to RIDE THE BULL?

Cause I rented this bad boy through the weekend.

Sam, you think we can set this fucker up in the back of the Rabbit Hole? Cause I'm gonna stick it in the park otherwise but nothin better than bull riding except bull riding and beer.

Apr. 4th, 2016


storybrooke: prof. dorian grey (to ben, maria)

I couldn't get away this weekend. Let me make it up to you.

Can I keep you up on a school night?

Hello, darling. Don't wait up for me this evening — I'm staying late to reorganize my lab storage. Completely boring, but has to be done, you know how it is.

Apr. 1st, 2016


storybrooke: ben+dorian (flashback)

WHO: Ben "The Bull" Irons and Dorian Grey
WHEN: Flashback/backstory, I think this was a few months ago?
WHERE: Ben's apartment!
WHAT: Dorian's been having an affair with Ben Irons for months now, despite the fact that he's married and despite the fact that he insists to the rest of the world that he's straight. But feelings are in the way now, and Ben asks Dorian to leave his wife.
WARNINGS: The usual for Adoribull (sex/BDSM), nothing overly explicit.

How often do you tell Maria you love her? )


Storybrooke: Yoga and Babies and Soap

I swear, if not for yoga class I'd go totally crazy. Ben, you are an absolute lifesaver. I miss doing inversions, though! No headstands with baby on board. :( The belly is big enough to make Wheel awkward now, too, so I'm back down to just doing Bridge.

Alison's got the shop today, so everyone who likes smelling good should go see her at Bare Necessities! The spring scents are in, and if I do say so myself, they are beautiful.

Also, we're looking for some part-time help! If you have a nose for perfumes and fine bath products and a passion for helping people feel their best, come have a chat with us ASAP!

Mar. 26th, 2016


network post: alison hendrix

Where is Alana?

She wasn't at rehearsal on Thursday, I've been messaging her. Is she gone? Not again I can't have actors disappearing into thin air, we have a show to do.

Mar. 19th, 2016


So who wants Nug bacon?

Just kidding, fuckers. You can't eat my nug, no matter if it's got creepy human hands or not. They're cute and he's got a name (Dawnstone, but if the spy master shows up she'll tell you it's something stupid like Schmoopysnuggles or some shit. Don't listen to her.). You can't eat pets with names, it's a damn rule, alright?

Mar. 9th, 2016


Conversations about Bull's manhood and his asshole. Must be Wednesday.

Also, there's something weird about a shop where they're all smiling and know your name, no matter what they're serving. I think I'll take a pass, and look, you know if I'm not interested, it should say something.

[Thedas Minus Cullen]
So for anyone who was still on the fence about whether Cullen was or Cullen wasn't tickling that Mars girl's belly from the inside.... guess who just asked me to clear out of the rooms tonight?

Look at me, a regular gossip. I'm proud of Curly.


network; krem (005)

I can't tell if you're all so used to bizarre happenings that a shop randomly appearing feels like just another day, or if you're all collectively in the biggest danger of falling prey to demons I've ever seen.

I'm hoping it's the former, but if someone could let me know if I need my sword on my day off, I'd appreciate it.

Please tell me you're not rushing out to accept food from the magically appearing attractive people. I need someone to roll their eyes with me.

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