The 100; a panfandom game

[ Filtered to Friends; Feel Free to Assume! ]

I lied, may the Great Ones help me, I lied like a rug. I am so sorry. I failed my Sergeant and I failed Mount Weather and I failed myself. Do not tell him. He will hate me. I am terrible.

But the little cakes on a stick were so cute! Little bows! I ate a pink one. I want another but I will not risk going now. May they have mercy upon me. It was delicious. Delicious!

Don't do as I did. Take Satan's cake pops seriously! I am lost. Save yourselves!

[ /Filter ]

Thor?

It is with sadness that I announce Jane Foster has been taken from us. It is unsettling to see it occur before your eyes, and it is my hope that she will be fully dressed again once she arrives at her destination.

Should any have need of me, I shall be in the tavern after a brief shower. Please do not pity me, as I have often had to leave her behind to handle important matters. I will assume she has done the same.

damn, but i was getting ready to head for my fifth papa doble. that's what i get for mixing sun, rum and government business.

so, stop me if you heard this one before ...

albert einstein and carl jung walk into a bar. it's called the relative archetype and they order an adorably post-apocalyptic landscape. mister rogers (cardigan and all) sidles up next to them and he's got some loaded potato storybook characters and liberally sprinkles it with random friends. then enter sandman and what the eff, here we are.

so stop stampeding, get me a kale smoothie (with an umbrella), and we're in business.

I just realized I haven't seen my bed in over a week. Maybe I'm working too hard.

[Natasha]
I'm sure you're not the happiest with me at the moment, but I've got a favor to ask. Think you might be up for it?

Sif has disappeared, should anyone be looking for her.

Also, tonight is the full moon, so don't pet any stray dogs.

CHATTY TO THOR:

» You're busy for dinner tomorrow.
» Related question: do you know Samirah and Magnus yet?

I am so sick and tired of this universe jumping crap and everything going to shit.

You know what? Avengers Assemble. So you can all kiss my ass.

EVERYONE READ THIS

WE'RE DOWN A BUNCHA PEOPLE FOR PLAYING CARDS AND DRINKING SO WE'RE OPENING UP MEMBERSHIP

THE MODEL CANDIDATE:
- CAN PLAY CARDS
- DOESN'T WHINE ABOUT WHATEVER DRINKS WE GOT CAUSE THIS IS A HOLE IN THE GROUND AND YOU GET WHAT YOU GET. DEAL WITH IT
- HAS POWERS AND IS WILLING TO BEAT UP PEOPLE THAT DESERVE IT
- IS NOT LUCIFER. I GUESS?

also I got the message, Mars. where's the muffins?

[[OOC: Team Jackass sign-ups!]]

Well, well, well, isn't this an interesting place. Not my creation, which is strange and doesn't seem like the Father's, usually he leaves his fingerprints all over the place. And you know how difficult it is to get fingerprints off the silver. All that polishing. But the multiverses, that's cute.

Anyways, the kind and lovely people in medical - sorry if I confused you with not being injured, it's a thing - said I should introduce myself.

I'm Lucifer, Lucifer Morningstar. No, it's not a stage name, but I am fairly good at tickling the ivories. Or the violin, but it's been awhile since I've picked up one of those. Do you know how many bad renditions of "Devil went down to Georgia" and "Danse Macabre" I've had to endure? Practice your instruments, people, it makes a difference.

Yes, so I'll be joining the lovely people in Law Enforcement as an officer - it's truly ashame Chloe isn't hear to see it. And Haymitch, Sydney, and Willow - I'm your new roommate, I believe.

Pepper's gone.

And before anyone asks if I'm sure. I refer you to the fact that I am me.

If anyone needs me, don't. I'll be trying to drink my own body weight in whiskey.

MILITARY & COMMAND:

Surveillance spotted three disturbances just outside our perimeter. To the north, our intel indicates the presence of four frost giants. East south east, roughly 100 robots. West, orcs.

We're taking volunteers from our military ranks to form three separate teams to handle this. These teams will investigate the disturbances, and defend our home. From what I've been told about what's out there, you should expect hostility. The remaining military will then be assigned to the second and third lines of defense, as well as guard posts, to ensure all of the civilians within our walls are safe. You'll provide back-up, if necessary. Listen to your commanders' orders.

It should go without saying, but until we tell you otherwise, this information is strictly classified. There is no need to incite panic among the rest of the population if we can take care of this at a distance, and I have faith that we can. If these threats make it past our front line, we'll handle it. For now, we're concentrating on making sure they don't get close enough to breach our walls in the first place.

[ooc: remember, only the volunteers designated on this post will be on the first teams out; everyone else will be assigned other jobs!]

[ Filtered to Military, Command, and other Toolmakers + Evie Frye ]

I have news. One of the most-effective form of weapon enhancements in my home world is known as fire paper. When great friction is applied, this lightweight paper transforms to an extremely volatile, flammable substance that effectively coats ones preferred weapon in flames, adding additional damage and a measureless aspect of intimidation to one's fighting. Once the fire paper has exhausted its burning (usually after a minute or so at longest), the weapon is left free of any coating, as it has burned away in the process of immolation.

I should caution you that the high temperature of the flames act as a cauterizing agent in wounds: while you will undoubtedly cause people great pain (and, depending upon your skill, kill them), their deaths will be a result of your blows and not from bleeding out or infection. Some consequently see fire paper as a mercy in my world. As burns are among the most painful of wounds, I would not be so quick as to call it mercy. Additionally, weapons that have already been magically enhanced cannot use fire paper, so those of you who have enchanted weapons will have to go without.

I have been successful at recreating the formula from my home world, and have begun production of fire paper for our soldiers in the event of fighting. I would be remiss if I did not thank Dame Evie Frye, as she assisted me in testing early versions of the enhancement and aided me greatly when I nearly had my eyebrows singed off.

My next project will be to create bolt paper - same concept, only an electrical charge is added to a weapon rather than fire. If you have any questions, please let me know.

[ /Filter ]

I can't recall a time I've got so long without hearing the words Kaiju or Jaeger. This sudden and unplanned retirement is jarring.

[Friends minus Phoebe]*

Before one of you finds out and starts teasing me and accuses me of hiding it, I thought I'd just let you know that I'm seeing someone - Phoebe Halliwell.

be gentle.

*includes Team Bus, MCU Avengers, Pepper, Peggy, etc. - feel free to assume

I hear there's a gym here. Is it decent enough for training?

[Team Bus]
So now that I've had a couple days to acclimate, what have you all been up to here?

DARCY, thank you so much for loading up my phone with Hamilton songs. I think I might have be a puddle of crying if I couldn't listen to my favorite rapping presidents.

ATTENTION!

Childcare is experiencing a sincere lack of care, namely of the adult oversight variety. I did not have time to enlist Captain America to do a rousing speech, but, truly, must I say more than think of the children?

Thor, whatever you happen to be doing, cancel your plans. I already volunteered you to help me.

I'm glad everyone's back to normal. Skinny Steve was weird. Even though I'd seen the before and after pics.

And, Phil. Nine year old you clearly had game.

[Phil]

Oh, and your arm's ready for testing.

Right, so.... Now that we're back to normal and everything is right with the world, I need at least three penis molds. Four is better. Any to offer up?