the displaced; ic

I would like to take a moment to remind you that my name is Janet. One essential part of my programming is to assist in anything I can for any human being. It appears that this only works for the Displaced, as there are fourteen Janets in town, and I have not yet been called to any of their houses. I would recommend that when you ask to talk to Wasp AKA Janet Van Dyne, that you not say the full name. Thankfully, she prefers Jan over Janet, and then I won't show up in any strange and bizarre situations such as the one I found myself in when she was scolding herself over a dress design.

Yo, this is the worst. I was trying to get some free food by pretending there was a fly in it like Pillboi and I used to do, but then I just told them that I put the fly there and I couldn't get free food and I had a fly in my food, so I couldn't eat it. So I had to pay for it and I didn't even get to eat it.

Well. If I do have to be back in Texas, I suppose it's good that my house came with me, again.

Eleanor, darling, are you still here? Michael, are around, as well?

I am designed to assist in all human matters. If you are in need of something and do not wish to bother someone in your household or do not have anyone to attend those matters for you, all you have to do is say, "Hey Janet" or "Janet" and I will arrive instantaneously to assist.

As a side note, I do not know why my powers work outside of the Neighborhood I was meant to server, but my concern is your good luck!

1. Maya Lopez
2. Leia Organa
3. Julia Wicker
4. Ben Reilly
5. Gabrielle Delacour
6. Anakin Skywalker
7. Kell Maresh
8. Ronan Lynch
9. Zelda
10. Hermione Granger
11. Illya Kurykin
12. Nadia van Dyne
13. Penny Clearwater
14. Cable
(Potentially Henry Fitzroy)

I take it we are going to the ball, then.

Well, this has been some bullshit.

[Magicians + Tony Stark the elder]

Just so you all know, Julia's gone. Considering she disappeared in a swarm of hummingbirds, I'm assuming this is faerie bullshit.

So yeah. I'm voting we destroy some fucking faeries.

It was definitely a warning. Maya Lopez just got pulled into the floor of the gym. Her dog is freaking out.

Hello.

Since there have been some concerns regarding the dual invite/threat of kidnapping to a ball, I'd like to offer my assistant Janet. Janet is capable of performing quick, non-invasive scans of Tumbleweed for the purposes of accounting for all of the displaced.

In order to get an accurate picture of if anyone has been abducted without notice while they were alone, vulnerable and likely very terrified, please comment here if you plan to flee from town and leave your friends and community behind to fend for themselves.

Thank you.

Hello.

I'm Janet.

I am outside of my parameters. I must speak with my architect and there are too many non-human lifeforms in this area for me to detect which one is him.

Hi! Question.

What does boredom feel like? I'm asking for a friend.

(That friend is me.)

ETA: Thank you all for your responses! With your help, I have concluded that I am, indeed bored. What a fun survey!

[Attached is a 357 page, highly technical and scientific document with a series of complex mathematical theorems. However, names are named. Read on!]

Hello,

I thought I would take a moment to introduce my latest research which, given the disappearances, appearances and reappearances of loved ones, might be of interest to others at this time. In the document I have, based on the months I have been here and data gathered from network posts before that, calculated the possibility of disappearances and reappearances based on:

1. Homeworld connections
2. Romantic connections

The details are all in the report for your perursal.

In layman’s terms, I believe there may be a sort of invisible tether between the Displaced that come from the same world and the portal. That tether is what increases the possibility of others appearing from that world, but also increases the possibility of a string of disappearances of that world. Think of it like a game of tug-o-war. Everyone from your home world is connected, but if one slips back through the portal, the possibility is increased they'll drag others with them.

[The document, while Michael does not call this out in this post, does name one name from each world (fandom) who he believes to be the most at risk for being taken away, who in turn puts everyone else from their world at risk. Have fun with this drama bomb if you like and see the OOC comment thread if you want to be the named person from your world/fandom!

Those who are the only character in their world (fandom) are not mentioned, but he does propose while they are the highest at risk for disappearing initially, that risk goes down much lower than those with multiple people from the same world the longer they're there if they remain the only person from their world as they might have developed a special resistance to being sent back.]

Now interestingly, new tethers can develop between the Displaced from separate worlds in the case of romantic connections. There may be a benefit of increased stability, but it seems just as likely to add an increased layer of risk. If one partner disappears, that tether appears to increase the risk of disappearance for the other.

Again, this is all discussing risk. The percentages of increased risk are within a range 3 to 37.4 percent, depending on variables mentioned in the document. I hope my work will help add awareness and understanding to our very particular set of circumstances.

Thank you.

[For the super smart characters in the room, the math does add up, buuuuut... For the super, duper smart characters (think Doctor level brain power) there's still quite a bit of conjecture. It's an interesting hypotheses, and Michael isn't lying but... Whether he's presenting the document to create drama or prepare people for the worst (or both!) is hard to say.]

[Backdated to yesterday]



( cut for image explosion )

( Previous netpost attempts. )

My name is Peter Parker. I'm fifteen years old. I'm pretty quiet and won't cause any problems. Seriously you won't even notice I'm there. I need a guardian before I can leave so if you've got a spare couch or anything I'd really appreciate it.

I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about having a pink gem on my bellybutton, but I have now figured out how to coordinate outfits around it. I might as well make the best of this situation, for however long I'm going to be in it.

I went through a portal! It was a hoot!

So I am about to have the best job ever. I got a job I'm starting Monday and I just got this picture* text from my boss with the caption "Your desk is ready and waiting for you! See you at 9am :) ".


*[ooc: Pretend the candy brands all say Sweetums]

Although I have no need for money at all, I've decided that it is in my bests interests as a Growing Janet to take on a job of some kind. Is anyone in need of someone that can do anything, knows everything, and can instantaneously manifest anything that they may need? I'd be happy to offer my services and take your money.

[Brooke and Eleanor]

Hello! As my friends, I feel it's only right that I inform you that I am going on strike. As a Janet on the road to being More Than a Janet, I can no longer set aside my personal growth in order to serve and help others. To quote the Good Place's own Stevie Nicks: "I've been afraid of changing, 'cause I built my life around you. But time makes you bolder, children get older, and I'm getting older too.*"

I hope that I have your support me in my endeavor.


*Note that, in this context, 'my life' is referring to my existence, from activation onward, 'you' is referring to everyone in the universe, 'time' is referring to Michael's relentless determination to make his torture experiment work, resulting in my being murdered and reset 802 times, and that, as I am technically immortal and therefore I do not age, I am truly only 'getting older' chronologically.

Team Cockroach

Hi there! This is to inform you all that I will not be staying in the void for the foreseeable future, as I have taken on guardianship of a teenager, and will be guiding her into adulthood in my spare time. This will require me to take up residence in her very large mansion. By my calculation, this will decrease my reaction time by approximately .0341 nanoseconds. Thank you for your understanding, and I’m sorry for your wait!

Hey there 'I'm not an AI' Janet. How's ya doing?

Okay, super quick Q. Do you live anywhere?

[Private to Janet (from the Good Place)]

When I was writing to Eleanor about getting costumes together for Rocky Horror, she told me you had the ability to manifest physical objects - is this true?

If so, I have a favor to ask, please.

So, I legit get that a lot of people are feeling really shitty right about now, and the ship is kinda lame in both senses of the word. But I'm kinda feeling like distractions might be good for the masses. And because I cannot with my suite mate right now

That said, what activities are still functional? Can anyone tell? That symposium room is totally big enough we could make it a mini-movie theatre for like a night if anyone could set up projection stuff. Anyone up for light-hearted mindless movies that mean people around but not talking?

Help me out here it's too much like.

So yeah, in case anyone was wondering, Rocky Horror's being pushed back to IDK when yet.

None of this makes sense.

How do I get off this ship? I can't stay here.

So I have what may end up being a fantastic idea!

Let's put on a Rocky Horror Picture show live action thingamajig. Janet is Janet, but the other parts are up for grabs. If we want to do rehearsals or whatevs, maybe we can start scheduling that next week?

Who's in? Who wants to handle putting this together?

( cut for cast/tech list )

I do not appreciate being poked and prodded by robots, even if it is apparently for my own health.

Oh dear. Is this the Medium Place? Am I doomed to a tacky singles cruise with under-cooked food in the dining room and loud tourists in horrible Hawaiian shirts? Because if that is the case, that's worst torture than anything Michael ever thought of himself when I was in the Bad Place.

What's even worse is having to hear bad covers of Jimmy Buffet at the karaoke bar, if that's also a thing.

Food poisoning. I would not recommend it.

I still feel so sluggish. Anything interesting happen in the past couple of days?

Hey, Tony! Disco Night, tomorrow!

I want a burrito.

This must be one of those things people talk about when they remember stuff that happened but didn't really go thru but they know it happened even if they weren't there for it.

Hi there! I’m Janet.

Fun fact: Though Dr. Alexander Wood, the inventor of the hypodermic needle, is in The Good Place, he only missed being sent to The Bad Place by 312 points. Incest and torture are, as a general rule, frowned upon, no matter the reason.

With that in mind, I do not have skin or a circulatory system, so I can be neither infected nor innoculated. The experience was fun, though!