Happy Birthday, My Former Ward!
[Backdated to yesterday]
[Embedded video: 8-minute highlight reel of Brooke's life, ending with her face the exact moment she saw this post]
I wish you all the love and affection I and your fellow kidnapees can provide you on this day, which, excepting your birth and the beheading of Anne Boleyn (which, of course, helped to initiate the English Reformation), is entirely unremarkable. I'm very happy to be your friend.