Incomplete Data: A panfandom, multi-world RP.

Who: Ron Swanson, Girl
When: Evening, Day 1
Where: The Swan(son) House
What: None of your damn business
Rating: TBD

( No. )

[The Wilson family]

Pretty sure this is a standard operation. We have a part to play. I don't know anything about parenting. Never had a kid myself. My partner was a bit like having one, but that's not really important I assume you're both grown enough not to get yourselves killed for the most part.

My neuralyzer seems to have stopped working, so don't do anything the people are going to have to forget, because I can't make them Seems getting memories to disappear is off the table, so we'll have to work together to deal with whatever it is they're trying to do. Outside of make a lot of unusual forced families.

If you have any allergies or preferences regarding food, now is the time to mention it. I can at least manage that.

So like...I have to go back to school again? Man, this is gonna be ethnics class all over again.

Clothes.

Where is the house staff to prepare the meals?

Y'all can zap me back into that dang house every morning if'n you want. Just means I'm gonna trudge back elsewhere as soon as I'm conscious again.

And Smith family, fix your own dang meals.

Okay you ever have those dreams where you're back in high school and you can't find your locker or your classes or you're naked or whatever?

Yeah, that. Minus the naked part. In fact I'm wearing clothes and colors that I haven't worn since I was like 8.

Also I graduated high school at 16 on purpose. Meaning why am I back there??

All specimens who tried to move to other homes or sleep in other places woke up back in their original bedrooms this morning. This will happen every single morning. And will add points to the “Russian” space race meter.

[Volleyball Team]

How do you play volleyball?

[Yearbook Club]

What do we do for the yearbook?

Anyone want to go to that Socrates place with me after school?

[High School Students]

Apparently I'm going to be teaching you all about the wonders of living things. Meaning biology, if that wasn't obvious. You can call me Mr. Stamets or Paul. Frankly, I don't care.

I've never taught anyone younger than around twenty, and I never particularly wanted to. I would therefore highly appreciate it if you can all act like the young adults that you are rather than like children. I know rebellion is 'cool', but it's also a complete waste of everyone's time.

I'm also sure plenty of you are hoping that this will be a joke. Sorry, but if I'm being forced to teach, you are all going to learn. Might as well make something productive out of this ridiculous situation.

A few more things of note;

1. I will be ignoring anything in the textbook that is dated or otherwise faulty. Being misinformed is worse than being uninformed.

2. Do your work in pen. I don't want to deal with papers covered in chickenscratch that also smudges graphite all over my hands. No damn pencils. I'll tolerate pens because I didn't find a typewriter in my own house so I doubt the rest of you have access to one.

3. We will not be wasting time on pointless endeavors like making candy models to demonstrate the structural differences between animal and plant cells. If you want to make one for yourself, be my guest, but you sure as heck aren't going to be getting credit from me for it.

4. Constructive complaints are welcome, but unnecessary whining will be entirely disregarded.

Deal with all of that and we should get along just fine.

[The Hamiltons]

Uhm. Hi. I don't really know either of you all that well. But seeing as we're stuck together for the duration of this experiment we should get to know one another. Since this was my idea I'll go first. My name is Claire Wise and I promise to try my best NOT to give you food poisoning.

[Helmut Zemo]

Hey, if you and Tony need anything, let me know and I'll try to help y'all out during all this.

[Rey + Luke]
I know you're not my real kids and I don't expect you to treat me like your mom or whatever, but I know this whole situation leaves you dependent on me doing shit for you. So I'll pack your lunches the night before and leave them in the refrigerator, because there's no way in hell that I'm waking up early enough to see you off to school. If you rather have lunch money or whatever, ask your dad. If you won't be home for dinner just give me a heads up so I don't waste my time cooking. You both seem old enough to do your own laundry, but I know you're all from space or whatever so let me know if you need help figuring out any of the appliances.

[Tony 616]
I don't really like you, but I don't want to fight about this.

[Pietro]
Where they have you working? I want to come by and bother you.

[Rogue 616]
Want to go grocery shopping?

[Bail Organa]

I could get used to this

So, if we're having company, what ought I make for dinner?