Knowhere IC

Um. So, I did a bad thing.

But it's okay! I swear! I've got it all under control. Everything is okay.

I didn't want the tribbles to just get sterilized and die out completely because they're so cute and lovely, but I didn't know they reproduced... you know asexually? (I honestly thought it would take two! I'm so dumb.) I, uh, ended up with about ten of them because I took one with me when we evacuated.

I spoke to Mercy in medical and she agreed to neuter them or spray them or whatever and they're in there right now under surgery. They're going to be up for adoption once they're all healed in two weeks. I'm going to keep one. Does anyone else want to adopt the others?

[Filtered; James and Lily Luna after this]

We're going to earth. We've got to get off this thing if there's any chance in hell you spawn the future, Jamie.

Once these things are frozen can anyone perform surgery on something that small? Stop them from breeding? We'll have a chance then while they're still to stop them from multiplying. Or some magical fix? I don't know much about magic...

We'll need someplace to send them too.

Delta's been crunching numbers and he's been so uptight about it he won't let me think.

We noticed food start to go missing on the 19th at around 11am, that's about 110 hours ago. The tribbles reproduce every 12 hours, with litters of up to ten. If we say it took about 100 tribbles to make that much of a dent in our food supply back on the 19th, and average each tribble having 6 babies each..

If we started with 100 tribbles on the 19th, saying each has 6 babies every 12 hours, at 110 hours.

And assuming a few have died off since then (what's the life expectancy on these things?)..

We should have about 1,007,769,600 of these things on Knowhere as of right now. By tomorrow at this time, 36,279,705,600.




We need to start killing these things. Right now.

[Edit]

Harry? Carlos? Li-Ming? James and Sirius? Am I missing any wizards?

Well met, castaways to Knowhere. I know not what force has brought me here, but my friend Cosmo has briefed me on our situation.

I am called Beta Ray Bill. This place, chaotic as it is, is quite familiar to me, almost like returning home; I also know quite well how often...'problematic' people tend to visit, so as long as I am bound here, I will dedicate my strength to its protection. Please call on me should you ever be in need.

Cosmo mentions that we are short on doctors. I'm afraid I have no knowledge of medicine, save for the most basic of bandages. However, I am more than glad to venture out anywhere for supplies - I do not require a ship, as my hammer will suffice to carry me through the stars. Food and other necessities as well. I am at your service.

I am also quite glad to buy a round at Starlin's, but only if you have tales to tell of your exploits. Beings from all walks of life often end up here, so it is only natural that there should be many stories to be heard.

I got off-shift about an hour ago and headed to the mess to grab some breakfast for the troops (I'm looking at you, Ed, the bottomless pit that is Al, North, Harry, Tex and Mouse - Yes, Ed, Carlos has been cooking Earth food special just for you) and Carlos said they're crazy low on food?

I guess it was there yesterday.. but there's a lot of it missing today?

Ed, are you sleep-eating, is that why you're never hungry?

Miss Spider doing a little late-night snacking?

Are you squirreling it all away, Sam?

Maybe our favorite zombie is preparing for end-times here?

Seriously, people.. where'd the food go? I had to leave with smaller portions so there'd be enough for everyone else.

Someone gave me a hug.

A hug.

And not like a fleshy human hug where some idiot wraps their arms around another idiot, but a stupid hippo-looking stuffed animals that vibrates when the idiot on the other end of the wifi pushes a button.

I don't need a fucking hug.

What I need is to get laid, because I haven't in like three days.

I will find you and I will skin you and wear your face as a hat.

So how does one go about getting an apartment here?

[Filtered; Li Ming]

That bloke, Mister Dresden, says that you're a wizard. I am, too. May I ask you some questions?



My name is Sirius. Sirius Black.

The talking dog isn't sure if my Mum or Da are here. He said the last name sounded familiar, though? Has anyone seen a Ginny or Harry Potter running around? I've never been this far from home. I think they're probably worried about me.

Because, you know, I'm in space for some reason. This is completely crazy! I'd like to go home now. I already miss Hugo. He's not going to know what to do without me.

Ugh.

What are the good things everyone's missing from home today, eh?

Tonight, for me, it's grass. Reckon I might make some outside the barracks if anyone wants to spend some time outside on a proper bit of ground. Bring out your blankets, maybe we'll have a picnic or camp or something.

I've determined James and I are the freaks here. 'Dust Bunnies', gigantic fleas, and strange little pocket places are par for the course at home. It's all strangely comforting, really.

But, since we are the freaks, you lot must all be decidedly normal. How wonderful for you.

You know how I know James is more of a freak than I am though? He married a redhead and he actually likes the weather in England. We went to Spain on my request because I'm not a freak that enjoys the dreary clouds, he complained, but I was the one that burned.

I'm a simple girl. Yes, I might still be finding huge entire estates my father apparently bought and forgot about, but half of them were built on the entrances to hell dimensions which I imagine was his sole interest in them. There is truly nothing my father loved more than hell dimensions and I mean that literally. So it's not an exaggeration to say I have been to my fair share of fucked up little cesspits full of horrid creatures that may have crawled directly there straight out of someone's nightmares. But at least none of them had the audacity to attack me with fucking dust bunnies.

Men in combat pterodactyl suits, yes. Drop bears. Even broccoli homunculi. But not dust bunnies.

Fuck I missed alcohol.

Oi,

York. James and I are fucking off to earth for a week. My pasty self needs some sunlight before I turn translucent. If your ceiling falls apart while we're gone James will fix it when we get back.

Look after my bike while I'm gone, yeah? Don't let your homicidal friend put her murdery hands on it.

So, anything interesting happening?

I'm tired of missing Iris
and Cisco
and space is
Just one little distraction would be great

Um, so when did the barracks get a sky..? I mean, I was just there the other day, and I went in today and.. there's the sun? And clouds?

It looks like rain.

What happened?

Who: James & Sirius
What: Sirius is upset, James helps
Where: Someplace in Knowhere
When: After this
Warnings | Status: None | Log - Complete

( He’d come back to himself in a moment, but for a minute he just wanted the comfort and it was always easier to ask as a dog. No one minded animals, everyone touched them much more freely than they touched people. Sirius knew this from experience, too.  )

Hey. If you live in the barracks, don't freak out about the ceiling, alright? We're going to set up sky in that building for a little while because everything about this place is fucking dreary. It's just some simple magic and if there's weather, you won't be able to feel it or anything. It's just to cheer this place up.

Good? Great!

Cheers, everybody.

Oi, you lot,

Sirius question:

When you get up to go to the loo at night do you all turn the lights on?

I've been ordered to introduce myself.

I'm First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye.

[...]

Hello.

I guess this is where I should introduce myself. I'm Riza Hawkeye.. just Hawkeye is fine. I've just arrived, along with my dog, Black Hayate. We're.. going to take some time to get used to our new surroundings.

If anyone knows their way around, perhaps I could trouble you for a tour and a run-down of the threats place.

So, hello.

I guess that's it.