War Is Coming Communications.

where am i? whats going on? i cant believe i have to sit here and use this stupid muggle device to get answers im above thiS AND I PROMISE YOU THAT YOU WILL REGRET PUTTING ME THROUGH THIS BECAUSE YOU CAN GUARANTEE THAT MY FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS

[Texts to Burt]

>I'm sorry! Apparently we REALLY lost track of time. I'll get Dave to bring me home.
>>Or not. Dad, we have no idea where we are. I'll be home as soon as possible.
>>>OH MY GOD DAD WE ARE IN KANSAS. I SWEAR WE DIDN'T MEAN TO BE IN KANSAS.

Wuts this? Hello? Were's my dad? I waked up and wa went to get a glass of water and this iznt my howse...i think im lost...

Mortals. I like you. You're entertaining to watch when I'm not off slaying giants or doing other entirely heroic things. However, I need you to answer me this one tiny little question:

WHICH ONE OF YOU MORONS WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO ATTACK A SON OF ODIN?

No, really. Why am I in Midgard? You have five minutes to answer before I begin finding the answers myself. Annnnnnd...go.

Ball is in your court, Luthor. I'm here. Ready for round two?

...Is this some kind of weird prank thing? I've got an exam in the morning.

Please tell me I didn't get roofied.

What the fuck? I know I'm awesome at drunken misadventures, but even I've never ended up in fucking Kansas. ...I'm going to strangle that fucking crow.

Anyone seen an elf, platinum blonde hair, tattoo on the side of his face running around? Answers to Zevran? I'd really appreciate being pointed in his direction. He has an appointment with my fist.

While I'm asking, anyone seen a faction of Grey Wardens? I seem to have been separated from them. Shiny blue and silver armor, griffon emblems all over. Can't miss them.

Um. Hello?

Anyone have any idea why I just woke up in an apartment with pictures of other people and me photoshopped into them? And a ton of weapons? And it's in Kansas? I kinda bolted out of there pretty fast. The apartment, I mean. Not the state. That'd just be weird.

> Oi. Charlie.
>> You. Me. Hotel Bar.
>>> NOW.

[ooc: Amy and Charlie are on a grand adventure in ITALY!]

youve gotta be shitting me, kansas again?? this is fucking ridiculous. whack bag seal must be picking on me or somethin.

Nice move, Morrible, but it won't stop me. And it most definitely won't save you or that puppet Wizard of yours.

>> Uh...did everybody go retarded? Have you been on the boards? What's going on?

I know I'm new to all this supernatural, paranormal, whateveral stuff but... Something is really, really not adding up here.

Hey! Magical biblical stupid seal you suck!

Fix them, I want my friends back, you ass of a seal!


BTW weird-o-meter is toes going off on high right about now, other people are acting way weird too right?

Baby B...just lost his middle name too. Awesome. Should've seen that coming with the way my luck has been.

[added a few minutes later]
NOT A GOOD TIME, BRAXTON-HICKS! SERIOUSLY! You have GOT to be kidding me!

[Doctor]
Please, please, please be normal, still...?

I'm getting hungry. Damon, baby, want to go hunting? Or how about you Caroline?

Wow. Must be a pretty inept kidnapper that steals a celebrity's kid after they're dead. Who do you think is gonna pay the ransom, douchebag?

I am way too pregnant to deal with each person individ

[Filtered to "new" people]
Hi. I'm Jo Harvelle-Shurley. I own a saloon in town.

I know this is going to sound crazy, but you've all bee brought to Lawrence, Kansas. Most Some of you were already here and were...different from how you're acting now, so I'm not fully sure what's going on there, but that's why there are people around here acting like they know you, and that's why some of you woke up in places with pictures of yourselves.

You've essentially landed in the middle of a apocalypse - yes, a literal battle against the devil himself. Now you can go ahead with the questions. And if you need a drink, my Roadhouse is at [address].


[Filtered to those unaffected]
Those of you not affected by whatever the hell is going on here, please sound off here.


[Dean & Sam]
Please tell me you two are okay.


[Roadhouse Employees]
Are you three okay? Chuck's acting different.

Back to Earth again, is it? And Kansas this time. How quaint. Americans with guns and corn and did you really think this was going to be enough to get rid of me? Hmm? I made you and I can unmake you with a flick of my fingers. Gallifrey exists because of me. Newsflash. Exile didn't stop me before, and it won't stop me now.

I don't want to remove you. I don't. I don't want to have to change you at all. This is your warning. Give up. Accept that this universe is a better universe. Here, you can have family, friends. Here, you have a future. Isn't that better than what the universe used to be? You don't remember the war. I do. Trust me. You don't want me to let it happen again.

I'll give you a day to think it over. One full Earth day. After that, no more deals. No more negotiation. You know what happens to things I don't like.

[ooc: What's a despot without rebels? A small faction of Time Lords in the Skasis!AU Doctor's reality believes the timelines should be restored so the Time War still happens.]

Hey..are you still you? Please don't be crazy. I really can't handle more crazy friends disowning me or anyth

[Filtered to both Doctors, Martha, Rose, Donna, Amy, & Romana]

Is it normal for humans to suddenly start acting so strange?

This is unacceptable. There is nothing strong enough to contain the God That Is.

You will cease this prattle immediately or be blessed with a pain worse than your frail mortal selves can handle.

What is this? Money, do you want money? That's how this works isn't it. You get money and the chance to brag about besting Lord Lannister when really you probably used subterfuge to get me here.

Is this another rebellion? I don't know what more you people want, you're treated well, anything else you take up with Kings Landing and hope not to burn at the pleasure of our illustrious King.

I will not be held captive.

Okay, I know I'm new and all... But is this normal?

And is our landlady supposed to be talking about going on a "hunt" that I'm pretty sure isn't for deer?

What the fuck's going on?

...You two still are normal, right?

Mickey, if you and your mates got together and decided this would be a good joke? I'm really not amused. Where the hell are you?

I have too much to do for this. There's a team meeting this morning and there's wedding planning to do and Mum'll kill me if I miss the appointment with the florist and no, seriously, where are you because I think I've managed to find a caterer.

Can anyone else read this? Want to help a girl out? Because I'm ninety-nine percent sure this isn't my flat.

Think you guys can take another patient?

Can anyone tell me how to get back to England? My name is Roxanne and I shouldn't be in the States.

Not that I even really want to but America's blocked its borders from the UK Magical Community, don't want to get caught up in the...
I could stay here but he'll find out. He always...

Are you two still yourselves?

So. Looks like we've been hit by a real doozy. Let's get organized, shall we? Who's not acting like themselves today?


(Filtered to Ruby)
How's it going, wifey? Still yourself? All systems a go?

I was wrong. I need you. I'm freaking out right now!

Well, this is unexpected if what I was told was true.

dean?

...Hey, are you still you?

What in holy hell?!

[Shawn & Connor]
Did you guys go batshit, too?

So, who decided this was a good idea?

Looks like I picked a hell of a time to show up, yeah? Jesus...

[ooc: filtered added a few minutes later after instruction from Jessica Moore]

My mom just fainted because Mel just orbed into our apartment.

My mom fainted at the sight of magic and looked at me as if she had never seen before. And she... didnt feel right.

And Mel has whitelighter abilities and I dunno whats going on.

Im hiding until things go back to normal. Someone tell Mel to go away. Im not coming out until I know its the way it was yesterday.

Did I miss the special brownies this morning or something?

Hey, I was told to talk to you three, the latter of which because I'm CIA; the former, because I'm new and apparently need a whole new fighting style?

Please tell me either or both of you can read this. I don't know what's going on. I'm kind of freaking out here. This isn't my apartment and there's this little girl who claims to be my daughter who can, apparently, do magic spells and then this other girl shows up and I may or may not and by that I mean may have passed out cold. I tried Piper's phone and then I tried Prue's and I'm getting disconnected numbers for you both and if one of you could kindly pop up and say hello and maybe tell me you have any idea how I got here, that'd be great.

So my parents are now an insane fake Vong god and a woman who willingly went along with Caedus' plans for the galaxy.

You're all still you, right? I really hope so because I think we're going to have to spend the time until we can figure out how to get the right versions back making sure they don't murder people. Or each other. Or...something else horrible. We are getting them back right? This is just a stupid seal thing and

For the record?

Sam, isn't Sam. I don't know who he is yet but that is NOT my husband.

Be very careful.

Although it's been explained to me several times I am still just figuring out how to use this device. Hello. I'm Damon Salvatore.

[ooc: Dawn & John got back last night, just in time for the plot. <3 ]

Buffy? Will? Vi, Rona?

If there's any other Slayers here, sound off.


And yeah, I read the explanations people have put up so far, and I pretty much got them, so what I want to know is...what's being done to return us to where we need to be?

I'd appreciate it if someone would tell me how I got here. Straight truthful answers or I'll have to give you some unpleasant motivation to be truthful.

OMG HELP I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED BY THE TALL STALKER GUY THAT SAYS HE'S A GOD!


[ooc: Just before this post some people may have heard screaming that came to a sudden stop. Thor teleported in front of Needy, then grabbed her, then teleported off to DC with her. Yeah.]

Here's the deal. You guys swear your lifelong loyalty to me through the process of selling your souls down the drain -- in my name, of course -- and I won't brutally maim and murder you and your loved ones. Well, probably not.
I'll think about it.

Except for you, Dean. I'm just gonna kill you. ;)

hay florence, some nice lady sed she has appul joos and if u will bring me i cood hav sum!

how much longer am i going to be stuck here with you stupid muggles?
my father is going to give each and every one of you hell when he finds out what's happened to me.

I have left this open to all because I believe it effects everyone.

Time is...fractured here at the best of times, it is a place where timelines mix and match, where universes collide where they shouldn't. But its gotten worse today. I can feel it. Something is very very wrong. So people may not be the...I hate to use the word, but 'versions' that we know.

Be mindful of yourselves and your friends. And to the newcomers. If you mean us harm I suggest you not test us. There is strength enough that it would be foolish to trifle with any of us.

Guys, this is Nate Grey, your friendly neighborhood shaman, with a little public service announcement.

DON'T TALK TO PEOPLE THAT THREATEN TO MAIM AND MURDER YOUR LOVED ONES.

Thank you. We now return you to your regularly scheduled panic.

It's amazing how much you can learn if you let everyone else do the panicking for you. And from reading your alternate self's past seemingly private messages.

Such a shame the full moon has already passed in this time. Too bad. Could have started things off with some real fun. Guess I'll just have to wait until next month and find other ways to entertain myself until then.

After all, there's no telling how long we'll all be here for.