Knowhere IC

I know it doesn't actually affect me in any material way if we sell crap coffee, but there's only so much I can do with this. I might head to Earth next time I've got a couple days off in a row. See what kind of supply chain I can source, remind myself what Britain looks like when it's not completely in the shitter.

Hello Knowhere! Hi. Is this thing on?

Pleasure to meet you all. It's a lovely place you guys have here, is this the culmination of everyone's 'mind palace'? My what big eyes it's got.

Anyway, hi, I'm Spider-Man. I've been to space plenty, never lived here though... it's kind of like Star Trek meets Punisher's wet dream.

I like short walks on the beach, I've never read the first two Harry Potter books, I just watched the movies to catch up, I call it soda, and the dress was blue.

I think that answers all the important questions. Now, where are the Borg?

I suddenly have all the time in the world to pursue my own interests [...] and I can't think of a damned thing to do with myself.

The military really screws you up.



[...] Maybe I'll transmute bars of gold.

So, so glad to be here. Well, yes and no. You don't even know. I can finally think. My heads all cleared up. Though, you know, normally when I go traveling, there's a big, blue, sexy box involved. It's not just a wham, bam, thank you ma'am situation. I guess I really don't have to do that essay on free will now. Is it example enough to exercise my free will to say 'not my dimension, not my deadline'?

It feels quiet now.

[Private to Whoniverse Characters]

Donna is gone. At first, I was worried she might've been killed, but I checked. The portal took her back to where she came from.

I got the lowdown from Cosmo. I know I've somehow managed to get to another dimension despite not being anywhere near a TARDIS when it happened and I know this place is currently battling something called the Reapers who sound pretty scary. He also mentioned there are people here who I know, but they're probably all over the place with the Reaper invasion.

So, Mickey Smith checking in. I'm here to help. Put me to work. I'm best at the tech side of things, but I won't be shy about shooting things in the face if someone has a gun for me to use.

[The sound of static noise, interrupted by a man's voice. He sounds distant, like he's standing several feet away and talking at the device]



Oh, Hell's bells I miss the days when technology was simple.

I am way too old for this crap.

[Indistinguishable grumbling]

Uhh, mayday? I need Coke and a bottle of aspirin.

[More static cuts through]



And a shovel for horse-sized dog shit. Send help.

I really hate space.

Reed, I know this is your fault. Where are you?

The good news: if you lost one Steve Rogers, he's alive and still too good for his own damn good. My passport's got his coordinates.

The bad news: I know that others were taken, but Steve and I were the only ones in the Troyjans' cells.

The Troyjans' master plan seems to be to lure the Guardians in with the hostages; home field advantage and all that. You're on your own with the Ba-Bani.

Situation report. Troyjan and Ba-bani have made a full retreat. We have no reported dead, but many injuries. The miners were not so lucky. Have report of at least 5 dead.

Children and noncombatants are safe. I protect them. We will rebuild.

What is I hear about kidnappink? Everyone, report in. We find who is missink.

Currently reported M.I.A:
- Steve Rogers
- Tim Drake
- Red Robin
- Rose Tyler
- Ororo Munroe

That definitely is something to arrive to.

Constant power supply is good though. Almost as much sunshine as home. Not bad, I suppose. I'm Ianto.

...