I know that you all are going through something and I'm sorry to hear that you are changed into a different gender and what not. I'm glad that nothing changed on my part, I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. I know that I have the babies and yes, I'm going to be informed that I can keep them close to remember the memories. But, its not the same. I miss him so much, I can't stop myself from crying everyday. How....its not the same as losing Christian, I'm more upset at the fact that I wasn't even married that long and I miss my husband, how can I make this pain go away?