network comm

Sooooooo...not to be a broken record, but this isn't where I'm meant to be. I actually had some preeeetty important stuff going on, if I do say so myself. Like destroying bad guys and stuff.

"You are now recording."

"Thank you Siri, fair maiden and scribe. Fellow adventurers, I would break words with thee. We have been taken captive by servants of some God or another. Fear not, for this happens on occasion. And a God walks amongst you.

Hercules, the Lion of Olympus, God of Heroes!  He who slew the Hydra, who killed the Nemean lion with bare hands, who tamed the heart the Amazon Queen. Ally to Captain America, Iron Man and Black Widow! He who tossed Godzilla on his scaly lizard ass, who did mightily bust Galactus upside his dome, who held the Isle of Manhattan together after 'twas cracked in half by the Hulk, due to- uh- vague reasons and who... did... many other exciting things!

Do not fear the mewling of these angels. If they speak true, then I shall be first to charge the foe! And if they lie to us, I shall personally smash their faces and throw them into the Sun.

But until then, we should eat, make merry and exchange tales of valor while getting shitfaced. Which way to the nearest bar? I AM BUYING!"