network comm

[Clint and America]

He's gone.

After some weird times lately, I decided to focus on work. You know, when I became a PI at home, I was working on finding missing people, gathering evidence against a stalker. Now? I am following people cheating on their spouses. Not what I had in mind.

[BUCKY]

Thank you, for being so awesome when I was dealing with the home stuff. You really are the best.

[CLINT AND AMERICA]

So, as my very best friends, I wanted to tell you the good news, I'm officially dating Bucky. I am also about to try to get the approval of Captain America to date his best friend. Probably shouldn't mention all the times I sassed our Steve, right?

[STEVE]

Hello Mr Captain America, sir. How are you settling in to LA? I'm sorry if I kind of threw you with the knowing another you thing. and by the way, is it okay if I date your best friend? I'd really like to get to know this you, if that's okay?

[FILTERED TO BUCKY BARNES]

Are you free right now?

[FILTERED TO AMERICA CHAVEZ]

I remember it. And more as well.

[FILTERED TO CLINT BARTON]

I could use some target practice later, you in?

Clint? Sam? Wanda?

Did we make it out?

you know that kick was uncalled for. i was fine by then. i think you just like kicking me.

anyway. question. you free?

[Bucky Barnes]

Please tell me what
You will tell me what

Tell me the events of yesterday.

[Clint Barton]

So, how you doing? Please, I need you back

[Bucky]

Hey, what happened to you? Thought we were going to meet up! Things seem pretty crazy right now, everything okay?

ETA: [Clint and America]

Freaking out, there's something wrong with Bucky.

So over the years I've flown back and forth between New York and LA many times and one thing that always helped me remember where I was was the weather. My entire system is so confused with this snow, for the record. Is this actually going to be a white LA Christmas?!

[Filtered to Clint Barton]

Vampires. My roommate situation comes with vampire complications.

I don't know what's wrong with you lot, but in the spirit of the holiday season I'm going to tell you what you sorely need and also tell you how to make it:

1. A fuckton of that fresh snow
2. Milk
3. Coconut or whatever flavoring you want, mango or strawberry or citrus to prevent scurvy
4. Whiskey, and don't skimp on it
5. Mix it all up and enjoy

Or just try this one:

1. Rum

I've even got this outside my door, so bring your own cup and take some for your concoctions - it's better and cheaper than seeing a shrink.

You're bloody welcome.

So this is snow. Interesting.

[Filtered to Carlos]

You doing okay, Mutt Pup Carlos?

Guess swimming lessons will have to wait.

[Filtered to Evie]

Haven't actually said hello yet.

CLINTON FRANCIS BARTON, WHAT DID YOU DO?

Do people intend on actually celebrating Christmas here?

Huh. A ‘please’ would have been nice.

So... I'm pretty sure that I'm not the guy that should be here.

Did someone mix me up with Danny again?