[To Stark & Banner]

I have looked at the Chitauri weapons you acquired. What do you want to know about them? I will warn you now, a few of them are hairdryers.

[To Pepper]

Do you require any assistance with your work? I'm not as busy as I would wish.

[To Quill & Drax]

Have you heard anything from the fox or the tree?

[To Captain Rogers]

I would like your input on how we should organize an exercise regime for the team.

[To Wanda]

I haven't checked in with you lately. How are you and your sons faring?

[To Dr. Foster]

How are you faring?

[To Barnes]

I'm bored. Is there something distracting we can do? Without compromising your safety, of course. Is there an activity or a place you would like to visit?

[private to Tony]

(1) Okay. You were right. I can't stop thinking about flying and how much fun it was.

(2) What say we get Happy to come over this weekend, and you and I can go out in the suits?

(3) And if you start singing 'A Whole New World' or find some way to play it through the soundsystem, I will divorce you. Fair warning.

What they don't tell you about living in a small village and not having any money is that if there's no Bifrost and you want to leave your small village and say, go to the synagogue in Oslo you either need a car or money for a train ticket. Plus fare for the Asgardian guard that follows you around. And I have neither.

If anyone's tracking their order for an epic shit storm? It's arrived.

Pretty sure this is the opposite of chill, Thor.

Quick question: Does this stop if we throw some virgins or goats on a bonfire?

[Thor]
Do we need to talk about me having some sort of security? Should I? Do I need it? This feels weird.

[Loki]
Sif was talking to me about possibly needing some sort of security so that no one tries to manipulate Thor by getting to me. It's strange for me as just a regular person but I'm also really trying not go around like I'm acting like some kind of queen. I don't want to send the wrong impression.

[Pepper]
Security guards. What? How?

[Darcy]
Do you have some kind of fancy security now you're a Stark?

Alright.

I'll admit it. Things aren't bad. Though maybe.

Maybe I work too much.

Sometimes, it's so easy to forget that before everything we all used to be people with (generally speaking) normal lives. We all had to learn how to feed ourselves, how to read, how to be who we are...

Now of course, as household names, it's hard to remember that people actually do just call me Pepper. Not Mrs. Potts-Stark, Pepper Potts-Stark, CEO, etc etc. Believe it or not, my parents still refer to me as Virginia.

I thought it might be fun to bring us all back to what makes us human: our flaws. But not, those hard ones that make us vulnerable. Something interesting, something that you wouldn't expect.

I'll go first, of course.

I absolutely, cannot, for the absolute life of me, bake bread. Doesn't matter how hard I try -- it either doesn't rise, or it's too chewy, or it's not bread, it's crackers (that was a sad day). Don't tell Tony, but that might be the reason behind no gluten in our house ;)

I've been encouraged to post a message on this forum, to make others aware another person has arrived in this universe. I don't know what to say, other than I am here. I don't think I've been here before.

Or perhaps that was another me, if she exists.

Which, apparently, she does, though I don't know where she is.






She isn't here.

Has anyone talked to Bobbi? She left on a mission about a week ago and hasn't responded to any of my messages.

>> Well this will certainly help put a cherry on the PR repair.
>> What do we tell him?

Hello. I am Steve Rogers.

[to Pepper]

No pressure but there's like 8,011 things I need to talk to you about.

Want to do that over a late romantic dinner, after the kiddo goes to bed? I can order something and I'll make sure Morgan's fed too.

FYI, so you know, I dropped by that taco truck over on King and Hudson on the way home. Don't worry. Kept it light. Stopped at one taco soaked in hot sauce.

Are we out of Tums?

[to Rhodey]

So yeah, I told her. That night, like you told me to. I think I did ok.

She didn't cringe or scream that I was a massive dick or anything. That's generally a good sign. Right?

[to Bruce]

I did the thing. She knows. Thanks for talking to me too. I got Rhodey and Sam on the training stuff. Nat's going to give people covert ops pointers and doing more liaison things between here and SHIELD. Little Peter and Nat are going to help work on finding the eScape hacker.

Not sure what Big Peter's doing. I need to go poke that guy with a stick and make sure he didn't die of space herpes.

Happy New Year! Hope you all had a great time at the party.

[Filter to Jane]
We need to talk. STAT. Something crazy happened.

[Filter to Pepper]
So... what do you say we skip the whole evil stepmom shtick and go out for mimosas this weekend?

[Tony]
>> Don't wait up.
>> God I sound like you
>> I'm finishing some PR damage control.
>> I only have three more Skype interviews, and seven more questionnaires to fill out.
>> Make sure Morgan eats some vegetables with her pizza.

[Bruce]
>> When did you and Agent Morse start dating?
>> That's wonderful!
>> I can help you with the tux.

Worst game launch ever. Guinness World Records called and made that official. Ouch.

Sorry everybody. And thanks for saving not only my ass, but the asses of everyone stuck in the game. That's whole a lotta bacon to pull out of the fire.

I'm on the 10th floor right now, chugging coffee and trying to fix this mess.

Update: Who wants to check out future location targets or where stolen stuff was dropped off? I'm digging through this hot mess and finding some info, while I carefully try to boot some unlucky contest winners out of their game and back to reality.

Despite how worried, angry or whatever feeling she had at the moment, Pepper still looked completely composed. Completely under control. She’d had to so similar things in the past and for worse reasons. She’d spent the majority of her initial years with Stark Industries making excuses for Tony’s behavior. It seemed as if she had to do so once more. Damn it. But at least this time it didn’t include paying off a Playboy Bunny. Or seven.

With her hair pulled up into a professional twist, her makeup covering the dark circles under her eyes and her pencil skirt business suit hiding the fact that she’d lost weight in just a few days from stress, Pepper stepped onto the podium and spoke into the many microphones attached to it.

“I want to thank you all for coming,” she said, glad to hear her voice steady and strong. “This will be a brief statement, and I will not be taking questions afterward.”

Her hands were clasped behind her, and those who could see would notice how white her knuckles were. She didn’t need 3X5 cards since she had memorized the talking points and would wing the rest. Her winging it was better than most presidential speech writers best attempts.

“Stark Industries began a beta test of new, full immersion virtual reality technology. As happens during such testing, something went wrong. The regretful and unexpected reaction extended beyond the lab and its effects are still uncertain. We at Stark Industries want to assure the public that we have recruited urgent assistance from the most reputable and talented minds available. Notable names such as Dr. Bruce Banner, Dr. Jane Foster and IT specialists from law securities are currently working on a resolution to this emergency. Stark Industries accepts the responsibility for these events, and have put all of our resources toward rectifying these unfortunate incidents.” Not exactly an apology, but enough of a verbal dance to satisfy the mobs. “An emergency number has been created for information and new incidents as they occur. We and the law enforcement of New York encourage anyone to make use of this number so that we may immediately address the situation.” She was SO tempted to give out Dr. Strange’s number since he was being a bit elitist about this whole mess. “Thank you for your attendance and attention.” And with that Pepper left the podium to a chorus of shouted questions from the crowd. Happy was nearby with the limo which had Morgan in the back. Pepper made a bee line for it.

Since Tony's not denouncing what's going on or starting a clean up effort, I'm surmising that something has gone terribly wrong.

Before someone asks for me to stop a bunch of angry teens: We monitor mystic or planet-wide threats, and this doesn't qualify for our intervention. I believe it's a matter best left up to the police, SHIELD, or the Avengers.

That doesn't mean I can't help out behind the scenes.

I'll go to the tower to help coordinate. If anyone has any further information about what's happening, I'd like to hear it.

Ok, everyone who told me this was a ghost? You were right. I didn't want to believe it. You've all earned the right to gloat.

Anyone want to play Ghostbusters? Team Science, maybe? No crossing the streams type stuff. That containment unit in the movies is probably out of the question too. Maybe we can start finding a way to push it out of the work and living spaces. Create a safe space or something. Ideas?

Also, Steve's gone. I'll be steering the ship. First call? Might want to use the buddy system. At least until Strange gets back.

This whole 'living my life that isn't really my life' thing is bizarre.

I feel like I'm smack dab in the middle of a conspiracy theory.

>> Finished with some debriefing in DC.
>> Flying back up to NYC tonight.
>> You two going to be around tomorrow?
>> Chance for me to check in with Miss Morgan?
>> I might have brought her a gift from the Smithsonian
>> You too Tony. Don't be jealous.

So I saw MJ's post. We should have her over for dinner.

Hey people. I'm MJ, Peter's girlfriend friend classmate. Got the whole 'alternate universe' spiel from the weird guy in the cape and Peter filled me in on things.

Any way I can get a peek at some government files? Find out the truth about some conspiracy theories for myself and all. I always knew there was more going on that the people were told.

So I know a bunch of you have been on your toes trying to keep the local me from finding out about multiverses and so on and so forth, but I'm here now, with all the memories of the last few years, and I'll be pitching in on the keeping things quiet part from now on.

How is everybody? Tell me what's going on with all of you here.

( So this is my life now. )

So. The time stone reacted to my other self showing up. Meeting your other self inadvertently? Not merely a trope. It really is a bad idea.

Your calendars and date settings aren't wrong. It was 2019. It really is four years in the future and it really is 2023 now.

Sorry.

So this is… new.

My name is Ava. I’m pretty sure I don’t know most of you and I’m not very good at introductions so I’ll keep it brief - it’s been an interesting few days. If anyone knows a place to get a very stiff drink or a very decadent cake; do let me know. I’m going to assume specific cravings are normal after having just been transported to a new universe.

( Pepper )

( Natasha )

( Peter Parker )

[Tony and Pepper]

Hi guys! 👋How's Morgan doing? I bet she’s the best little kid already. My aunt wanted to say congratulations too, we’ve got some gifts I’ll bring over next time I see you. I’m hoping no one’s beat us in giving her this science pun onsie thing yet.

And I just wanted to say - if Morgan ever needs Spider-man to protect her, or just Peter Parker to play hide and seek with or anything? I’ll be here to do that. Anytime. Even if it’s like 3 in the morning or whatever. For the protecting part. Probably not for hide and seek cause that should be way past her bedtime.

[Tony]

So the whole getting the team back together thing? I kinda talked to Captain Rogers about it. He said I could help out? That’s…cool, right? I know you did the whole I-dub-thee-an-Avenger thing in space, but that was space. Things were a little different up there.

So, let's get this out of the way now. Yes, I was dead. Now I'm not.

How many of you are going to want to punch me? Just so we can work something out here.

No.

Everyone meet Morgan Maria Stark! Tony dressed her like this so not my idea.

[Pepper]

> Honey, can I go play with the Quantum Tunnel for an hour?
> Hope needs to check and see if Shrinky Dink's alive in there or if the universe ate him and forgot to spit him back out.


[Group Text to Dr. Banner, Dr. Palmer, & Dr. Foster]

> Hi! Good news on the cancer curing front.
> Testing's complete and Bruce is tinkering with the very last of the genetic puzzle pieces.
> The autobots are ready to roll if you two are.

[Steve]
Do you have any requests for what I make for dinner tonight? And before you ask, no I am not stopping and picking up pizza.

[Bucky]
How are you settling in? I realize you don't remember but we did live together for a bit of time so I have some clothes and things for you if you want them.

[Sam]
How are you settling in?

[Tony]
I'd say congrats daddy but I've discovered that has another meaning now apparently. Which is... disturbing to say the least. I can't believe you made me a great aunt already. How are you?

[Pepper]
I've bought a disturbing amount of clothes for my new favorite child, so I hope you're fully prepared to gush over them all with me. Is there anything you need?

[Public to the network]
Welcome to everyone that's arrived and I have missed. If there is anything I can do to help you feel more welcome, please don't hesitate to reach out. I regret to say that I still move at a '40s pace but eventually I'll be able to keep up with everything. Hopefully.

Our apartment pool is going to be opening soon, would anyone else be up for a bit of a party to kick off the summer?

OK! Totally not a practice labor this time! Future Mom is officially sending out the request for a Super Uber to the hospital!

TONY! Happy has the bag!

OMFG I THINK I'M IN LABOR!!!

[moments later]

Disregard that post. Might have just been...yeah never mind.

[literally a minute later]

NO REALLY THESE ARE CONTRACTIONS!!!

[two minutes later]

So these false labor things suck beyond the telling of it.

I am SO glad to have two of my bridesmaids back! Natasha? Wanda? Final gown fittings! NOW!

Wow, Fury. You didn't even bother to change your passwords.

Don't worry. ( I fixed all of your social media handles for you. )

Thanks to being super bored during lunch time (P.S. - Hi, where's my sandwich guy?), I now know from a sparse amount of timeline posts that Fury's a devoted cat dad.



I mean, wow, that is a metric shit ton of cat pics. So many that I changed the status to "in a relationship." 💕

> Hey, you. Got dinner plans?
> I was thinking Peking duck but if you don't want that, we can do something else.

[text to Pepper]
> Hey honey, did HR ever make hard ass rules about me bringing booze to work?

> I can't ask by poking my head around the doorway in there. They grab torches and pitchforks on sight. 🔥



[text to Peter]

> Hi! I heard something about a certain Spider-man skittering around Dr. Foster's lab. Know anything about that? Or should I break it down in emoji?
> 🕷🕸+👟🕵️‍♀️+🔬🔭🍳-🥚 = 🔥🕷🔥 ?

Here's your comforting monthly notice that the universe isn't folding in on itself like origami.

I was busy overseas. If anyone has any mystical, paranormal, or occult issues or questions, I can answer them now. No, you can't touch or hold the relics.

If you ask me any questions, Stark, I'm not answering. I know not to feed the trolls. Have Pepper ask instead, so she can filter you.

[Jane]

I apologize that I haven't gotten a chance to talk to Thor. I'll do this as soon as possible. There was a series of Κῆρες sightings in the Mediterranean that I had to look into.

[Thor]

I'd like you to stop by the Sanctum when you have some time. I wanted to talk to you about Jane's condition and what to expect, and to ask for an update about your brother. No need to set up a time. I'll know when you're stopping by.

[Wanda]

I wanted to see how you are feeling about your level of control with your powers. Is everything feeling more finely honed. or do you feel like you need more time in the mirror dimension to practice?

Pirates smell bad. I just wanted to say that.

[Tony]
BRISKET!! Now!! And sauerkraut. Also, I punched Jack Sparrow in the face.

Hello, ladies! (Hi Wanda. Tony gave me your name.)

I need to look into some menu options for the wedding. Natasha would tell me pigs in a blanket so I'm leaving the dress part up to her. Peggy, I trust you...and I want all the scoop on Steve. Wanda, Tony said you'd know some vegetarian place.

HELP!

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