InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "They do in jest. Poison ingest"

Tony Stark is characteristically hyperverbal. (the_iron_man) wrote in avengers_net,
@ 2019-03-12 16:18:00

Entry tags:

- text, pepper potts, tony stark

texts to Pepper and Peter

[text to Pepper]
> Hey honey, did HR ever make hard ass rules about me bringing booze to work?

> I can't ask by poking my head around the doorway in there. They grab torches and pitchforks on sight. 🔥

[text to Peter]

> Hi! I heard something about a certain Spider-man skittering around Dr. Foster's lab. Know anything about that? Or should I break it down in emoji?
> 🕷🕸+👟🕵️‍♀️+🔬🔭🍳-🥚 = 🔥🕷🔥 ?

(Post a new comment)

	hisonething 2019-03-12 11:44 pm UTC (link)
	>> After the incident of 2003? >> Yes. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	[Pepperony] the_iron_man 2019-03-12 11:47 pm UTC (link)
	> Is that the one without my pants? > Not cool. I had a note from my doctor. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Pepperony] hisonething 2019-03-12 11:49 pm UTC (link)
	>> No, that was 2001. >> You need a note from me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Pepperony] the_iron_man 2019-03-12 11:54 pm UTC (link)
	> Ok wait, was 2003 the yacht weekend? Where it crashed through NO FAULT OF MY OWN? > It was someone else's fault. And her name was Mindy. And you hated her on contact for reasons. > Gonna need a note so I can help a buddy out giving him good sloe gin to drink at home so he's not buying shitty stuff. > How're you doing, baby mama? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Pepperony] hisonething 2019-03-12 11:57 pm UTC (link)
	>> 2003 was the year you tried to hook the arc reactor up with the hadron collider. >> And by hook up I mean you tried to mate them together. >> Who is it? >> I can't see my toes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

[Pepperony]

the_iron_man
2019-03-13 12:46 am UTC (link)

> OH 2003 when I hooked the BIG factory arc reactor up to a smaller Hadron Collider.
> Not fair, because that could've powered that thing plenty and made lots of science babies before CERN ever finished their project.
> Not my fault that I said we were making science babies and everyone took it as mating.
~~> I was only a little drunk and there was a teeny tiny risk of explosion. Why am I typing this?~~ [deleted and unsent]
> Totally vindicated when I created that new element in 2010 with my home collider so HR can SUCK IT.

> Peter. See his post?
> Guessing Gamora's gone and he's wasting away in Margaritaville, only with cheap gin instead of margaritas.

> Uh oh.
> Vegas?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Pepperony] hisonething 2019-03-13 12:50 am UTC (link)
	>> From the reports I had the connection could have wiped out the entire island of Manhattan. >> Are you sure gin is the way to go? >> Vegas? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

[Pepperony]

the_iron_man
2019-03-13 12:56 am UTC (link)

> Nope, that was the big reactor housed at the California facility.
> You know, the one I had you blow up so we could stop Obadiah.
> So hey, HR should be mad at YOU.
> Just didn't have a collider mating with it at the time but whatever.

> I'm giving him the sloe gin. More sneak attack, less insta angry than tequila.

> Vegas. Big party afterward. Lots of celebrities.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Pepperony] hisonething 2019-03-13 12:59 am UTC (link)
	>> HR sends me thank you cards every other month. >> Sloe gin will turn him into Hipster Sad Peter. >> Do we really want that? >> For what? Finding my toes? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

[Pepperony]

the_iron_man
2019-03-13 01:05 am UTC (link)

> You get postcards from Hell? Special!
> That's what people do now. They turn into sad hipsters. Then they turn into memes.
> Yes. Not even a trick question.

> Well that too, but hear me out because we can get married asap. And throw a big wedding without stress or a time crunch. Roll the baby down the aisle, throw more money around.
> Honey, we could get married in a cardboard box and for me all that matters is we're married because I love you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Pepperony] hisonething 2019-03-13 01:38 am UTC (link)
	>> You might try getting along with HR. >> Tony, don't make him sadder than he already is. >> Give him rum. >> NO! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Pepperony] the_iron_man 2019-03-13 01:41 am UTC (link)
	> NOPE. > The guy's drinking gin that tastes like pinecones. I'm saving him from that. > Is this because you punched Captain Jack? > C'MON PEPPER. SERIOUSLY. > There's buffets. > Morgan's gonna pop out in the middle of the aisle and wonder what the hell he's doing there! That's traumatic! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Pepperony] hisonething 2019-03-13 01:43 am UTC (link)
	>> No, it's because sugar drinks bring on a happy drunk. >> No. >> No. >> I'll say it in Spanish. >> No. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Pepperony] the_iron_man 2019-03-13 01:49 am UTC (link)
	> This is also because you did an intense multi-year study of what I drank and how it affected me. I know it. > Yes. > Si. > Oui. > Hai. > Ja. > I win! That's more than two languages. > Winner winner chicken dinner! > Do you want some chicken for dinner? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Pepperony] hisonething 2019-03-13 01:52 am UTC (link)
	>> I had to know the quickest way to sober you up. >> Don't deprive the mother of your child the WEDDING SHE DESERVES! >> Yes. >> Japanese chicken wings. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Pepperony] the_iron_man 2019-03-13 01:56 am UTC (link)
	> And it worked. If you could wake me up. > I'm not! I'm saying, get this, hear me out? > TWO WEDDINGS. And two parties. > Ok, from the place down on 10th. You want a double order? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Pepperony] hisonething 2019-03-13 02:05 am UTC (link)
	>> Tony, after the formal wedding I'm probably going to be busy giving birth. >> Yes. With rice vinegar. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

[Pepperony]

the_iron_man
2019-03-13 02:10 am UTC (link)

> Ok, but that doesn't mean we do INFORMAL weekend wedding, eat buffet, gamble, get down make careful love, and go home.
> You get your big shindig, where the baby doesn't hopefully pop out, and there's lots of pictures and we smile until our faces hurt and sleep afterward.
> Then you push out the baby around....whenever the due date is.
> If I think about it, I keep needing a paper bag to breathe into.

> I hope they don't put that on the side. It spills if they don't get the lids on right.

> P.S. I need a paper bag to breathe into right now.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Pepperony] hisonething 2019-03-13 02:19 am UTC (link)
	>> How about we do the Vegas thing for Halloween? >> The baby will be old enough to leave with Happy. >> Ask the restaurant for an extra paper bag. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Pepperony] the_iron_man 2019-03-13 02:38 am UTC (link)
	> Ok whatever fine, we do that for Halloween but we have to wear costumes. > I'd trust Happy with our kid. Or Cap and Peggy. > I love you and your brand of cruel, and you know it. > Be home ASAP. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Pepperony] hisonething 2019-03-13 02:41 am UTC (link)
	>> Love you too! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	Private thespiderling 2019-03-20 12:58 am UTC (link)
	> Yeah! That might have been me. Might have definitely been me. I would add in this 😱in there too cause that's how I felt when I realized whose lab it was. > I'm kind of really sucking at secret keeping lately. But she's cool, really cool, and > Is there anything we can do for her? Even something small? I just - I really want to help. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Private the_iron_man 2019-03-20 01:07 am UTC (link)
	> She's tiny but fierce so I bet it was a big time 😱. Did she go 🤬 at all? > Uh oh. So now she knows too? WOW. > I think spending some time with her's probably good. She likes building stuff out of other things, and since you dumpster dived the parts for your computer? Probably something in common there. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Private

thespiderling
2019-03-26 09:10 pm UTC (link)

> She was chill about it! She just wanted to know if I messed with her equipment? And I didn’t. I’m really glad I didn’t. Then it would have been more like 💀for me.
> There’s really no hiding things from someone as smart as she is? And I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not great at lying. I trust her to keep things between me and you and...May. And Pepper and Happy. And big Pete and Drax and Dr. Strange. And Mr. Fury. And yeah, Ned too. And Mr. Toomes even if he's in jail. Oh man, that's a big list. Trying not to freak out about that.
> I was thinking about bringing over flowers or something? I found a book full of science puns she'd maybe like too. Can Earth...people stop by the Asgardian warehouse? Do you need a password or something?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Private

the_iron_man
2019-03-27 01:44 am UTC (link)

> It would have been so much 💀 even though she messes with everyone else's stuff trying to take it apart. Glad I had Friday up the security locks on my lab door so she can't come in and turn everything into high tech toasters.

> Ok so like half of NYC knows now right? That's what I'm getting here. Not freaking out.

> Ok so maybe there's a little freaking out.

> I think it's probably ok. They aren't gonna roast you on a spit over a fire or anything. Loki's there though. But he's not the same as he was when he threw me out a window. He was cray cray.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Private

thespiderling
2019-03-29 01:24 pm UTC (link)

> Everyone needs a high tech toaster, Mr. Stark. We’re all missing out here.
> Hah - yeah? Yeah, that about sums it up? I think the only one who might say something is Mr. Toomes, but who'd believe him anyway? It's not like people really think Spider-man could be in high school, right?
> ...he threw you out a window? Not cool, so not cool. I'll definitely try not to run into him.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Private

the_iron_man
2019-03-29 08:08 pm UTC (link)

> Point. Who doesn't like toast? Avocado toast on gluten free bread? Great stuff. Eat it every day.

> If Toomes ever does, then I know someone who can run some counter-story in the press. I can't tell you who, or he'd have to kill you. (He wears an eyepatch.)

> Whoa there cowboy. He WAS cray. He doesn't seem like it now. Bruce set it straight and Thor is vouching for his little goth bro. Did you know in human years, he's like sixteen? It explains so much.

> Probably better not to point that out to him. Anywhere near a window. Or a balcony. Or heights.

> Anyway. I'm not saying the guy's moral compass isn't out of whack? But Black Widow, before the universe sucked her back into it, said there were signs of some mindjacking. Her guess was the glowstick of destiny had an effect on him, too.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Private

thespiderling
2019-04-01 10:58 pm UTC (link)

> I'm more of an egg sandwich kinda guy myself. Best stuff in Queens.
> I know there's ways to backtrack if he ever says too much, but I'm more worried about him deciding he wants revenge or something lame like that, you know? I don't want any of that falling on my aunt or Ned or ~~you~~ anyone.
> So you're saying he's like...the world's oldest teenager? Was trying to take over Earth part of his rebellious phase or something? Normally kids just drink a lot of alcohol and stay out all night. Or. um. They hack into a multi-million dollar spider suit.
> He's not a fan of Thanos, right? I'll steer clear anyway. I'd probably talk myself into a corner pretty quickly with someone like that.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Private

the_iron_man
2019-04-01 11:11 pm UTC (link)

> I haven't had egg sandwich in forever. Do they have it on gluten free bread?

> You know what, nevermind. I'll slip you some money. Bring us egg sandwiches.

> I don't think you really need to worry about that if he tries it. I'll take care of it, kid.

> Uh, could be a rebellious teen thing? I mean it's hard to get it to equate since they're OLD but if you look at the way Thor acts sometimes, it's like watching a teenager on the football team bounding around everywhere, ready for a kegger.

> After talking with Val, another Asgardian, I'm pretty sure there was something going on there with Thanos messing with his head somehow, but Loki's not talking about it. To anyone.

> No. Loki's not a fan of Thanos. Just watch it around him and I don't think he'll try anything. Not with Thor and what's left of Asgard around him.

(Reply to this) (Parent)