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Tony Stark is characteristically hyperverbal. ([info]the_iron_man) wrote in [info]avengers_net,
@ 2020-01-03 19:20:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:- private, bruce banner, pepper potts, rhodey, tony stark

Private Messages
[to Pepper]

No pressure but there's like 8,011 things I need to talk to you about.

Want to do that over a late romantic dinner, after the kiddo goes to bed? I can order something and I'll make sure Morgan's fed too.

FYI, so you know, I dropped by that taco truck over on King and Hudson on the way home. Don't worry. Kept it light. Stopped at one taco soaked in hot sauce.

Are we out of Tums?

[to Rhodey]

So yeah, I told her. That night, like you told me to. I think I did ok.

She didn't cringe or scream that I was a massive dick or anything. That's generally a good sign. Right?

[to Bruce]

I did the thing. She knows. Thanks for talking to me too. I got Rhodey and Sam on the training stuff. Nat's going to give people covert ops pointers and doing more liaison things between here and SHIELD. Little Peter and Nat are going to help work on finding the eScape hacker.

Not sure what Big Peter's doing. I need to go poke that guy with a stick and make sure he didn't die of space herpes.



(Post a new comment)

Pepperony
[info]hisonething
2020-01-04 02:57 pm UTC (link)
Those 8,011 things wouldn't happen to each be a kid you just found out about, would they?

Yes, I do.

Tony!

Happy has control of the Tums now.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Pepperony
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-04 09:31 pm UTC (link)
Maybe.

Ok, what do you feel like having? Or I can surprise you. With tacos and candlelight.

What? You know I can't stay away from the Cinco de Mayo taco truck! It's got all sorts of colors on it and tacos.

Why's he got the Tums?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Pepperony
[info]hisonething
2020-01-05 02:39 am UTC (link)
Well, let me know if I have to start up 8,011 trust funds.

No tacos.

There's that place by Central Park that I like. I'll call in an order. You pick it up.

Because he'll be more picky about handing them out to you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Pepperony
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-05 05:42 am UTC (link)
Oof. You word-kneed me right in the huevos. Lets stick with helping the two non-bioligical teenagers for college, and funding up the kindergartner and the grown up kiddo who is really into space people.

Don't you diss the Cinco de Mayo Taco Truck. They have a pic of me in my suit on the ordering window. I'm a taco truck celeb.

Ok, wait. Which place was it? The Italian or the Nouveau French place? That place we got stuff from last time was wah-wah. No bueno.

I asked him for a Tums and he was popping the last one in the container into his mouth so that worked giving it to the other guy who is stressed like me. I've seen Happy's echo-cardiogram and it looked like a seismic chart. It's ok, though! Bruce is gonna write me an RX for antacids. No more complaints about making stinkies in the middle of the night. 👍

I know you love me because you married me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Pepperony
[info]hisonething
2020-01-05 06:08 pm UTC (link)
And you are getting a Cinco de Mayo Taco Truck acid scar in your stomach.

The French place.

That's why I gave him the Tums. He needs them, too, and the both of you need to learn how to deal with A. your stress and B. EAT BETTER!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Pepperony
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-05 11:02 pm UTC (link)
My stomach is made of iron. Like my armor.

You're saying that because it's way more bland than a taco floating in hot sauce.

OH MY GOD, PEPPER. You can't teach us both lessons at the same time!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Pepperony
[info]hisonething
2020-01-05 11:04 pm UTC (link)
If it was you wouldn't need Tums.

You like French food. You flew to France once just to get us authentic cuisine.

Watch me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Pepperony
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-05 11:07 pm UTC (link)
Then you turned into Captain Obvious. Fine, I wouldn't. I didn't used to have this, you know. It wasn't a thing.

I was also trying to impress you. Don't forget that.

Have you ever heard him bitching about his acid reflux? Morgan and I have. You don't have to go through that.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Pepperony
[info]hisonething
2020-01-05 11:10 pm UTC (link)
No. You were busy damaging your liver at that time.

What, and you think you don't have to impress me anymore?

I've heard all of you. Remember how you rigged up an AV system for me?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Pepperony
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-05 11:38 pm UTC (link)
Don't you go there. My liver loves me. I kept it pickled and that's preserved it for posterity.

I didn't say that! Do you want me to go to France to pick up the real deal? I'll do it. Like, right now.

That AV system is still the best thing ever. You are super sexy over it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Pepperony
[info]hisonething
2020-01-05 11:40 pm UTC (link)
That's not how it works.

Well....

[patched to just the room he's in] "I know."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Pepperony
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-05 11:42 pm UTC (link)
Is too.

OMG.

[immediately after her voice filled the room] "....AHH!"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Pepperony
[info]hisonething
2020-01-05 11:47 pm UTC (link)
Are you going to France now?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Pepperony
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-05 11:54 pm UTC (link)
Yep, gonna go tell Happy right now. One trip to Restaurant le Meurice Alain Ducassee in Paris, coming right up. Gotta get there before they close.

You can give your personal Ubereats guy, that's me, a tip if you're satisfied with the service I provide.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Pepperony
[info]hisonething
2020-01-06 12:00 am UTC (link)
We'll see how you do. How cold the food is from the trip. You know.

Love you!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Pepperony
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-06 12:01 am UTC (link)
Harsh. Just the way I like it.

I love you too, Sneaky!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Tony | Bruce
[info]wontlikemeangry
2020-01-04 08:39 pm UTC (link)
Those all sound like good things, Tony. I take it things are okay with the Darcy thing? All good with you and Pepper?

Let me know if you need me to do anything else.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Tony | Bruce
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-04 09:35 pm UTC (link)
Sometimes, maybe like 90% of the time, I do good stuff. The other 10%, I've telling my PR agent that I'm not answering any questions.

I think things are ok, so far. I'm trying not to overwhelm her, and Pepper's been supportive of the whole thing. Still waiting on the other shoe to drop.

I gotta question for you. Does anyone make prescription grade Super Tums?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony | Bruce
[info]wontlikemeangry
2020-01-04 09:57 pm UTC (link)
I know you do. But I'm especially proud of you for delegating. I know that's not easy for you.

Glad it's good so far. It's big for all of you.

There are a number of prescription antacids available. What's going on? Do you need to come in for an exam?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony | Bruce
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-04 10:02 pm UTC (link)
I'm trying. Not easy, but trying.

It's huge all over. Pretty sure Darcy's feeling bulldozed by everything. My natural inclination is to hit mach 2 and headbutt everything, so I'm riding the brakes a lot. I don't wanna spook her.

Nah, no time for exam, my schedule is crap this month. Chalking it up to a bad taco. And you know how much coffee I drink. I'm feeling ultra burpy today.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony | Bruce
[info]wontlikemeangry
2020-01-04 10:45 pm UTC (link)
I imagine the tabloids would go insane if they learned about her.

Swing by and I'll write you a prescription. For 30 days. Then I'll insist on a check up.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony | Bruce
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-04 10:59 pm UTC (link)
Uh yeah, that's why I'm going to issue a press release ASAP. I want to make sure she's comf with it first, and tells her mom before that news breaks. Otherwise, that's really uncool to do to her parents.

Doing things by the book otherwise. Not rocking any boats. Not in this case.

Ok. Thanks! I think Happy's eating more Tums than I am. I might have to push that check up until Feb though? Pretty sure the summons lady is closing in. I'm pushing it off for as long as possible.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony | Bruce
[info]wontlikemeangry
2020-01-04 11:42 pm UTC (link)
That makes sense. I don't think I've ever heard her mention her parents.

30 days puts us into February. I'll work around your schedule.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony | Bruce
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-05 05:45 am UTC (link)
Yeah, I couldn't remember a time when she talked about them either. Kinda get the sense that Darcy kind of fended for herself, even if they were somewhere in the nearby vicinity.

Thanks. That works. I'm pretty sure they'll show up with law enforcement to drive me off to D.C. this month. It makes them look bad if they don't, but I'm giving the legal team more time to pull strings on fixes and cover the company's butt.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony | Bruce
[info]wontlikemeangry
2020-01-05 03:53 pm UTC (link)
Well, she doesn't have to do that anymore.

If you need me for anything, let me know.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony | Bruce
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-05 11:01 pm UTC (link)
Nope, she sure doesn't. Here's hoping she doesn't get buyers remorse on the life changes.

Will do. Thanks, bud.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Tony
[info]themachineroxx
2020-01-08 07:57 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, that's a good sign. Did she ask questions? I mean, not about like medical stuff and all that. More like, personal questions.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Private
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-08 08:22 pm UTC (link)
Nah, didn't get to that point yet. Usually I'm all for hitting things at a full run and facerolling anything getting in the way, but I'm taking baby steps with this whole dad thing. Probably ask if she's got questions over lunch this week, but depends on if she's ready to talk or not.

Did you and Sam meet to talk about plans? Let me know when to zip up to the upstate HQ for that training ground revamp.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony & Rhodey
[info]themachineroxx
2020-01-08 10:00 pm UTC (link)
She's got questions, that's why she's meeting. Also a good sign. How is Pepper doing with it?

Yeah, we're on it and we'll let you know. Also arranging another thing with Wanda that we need to finish before she pops.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony & Rhodey
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-09 12:15 am UTC (link)
Yeah, but I don't want to overwhelm her either. There's a lot to do there.

Pepper seems ok with everything. I really think she is, probably been expecting it for a while. It's hectic because she keeps getting jumped by the press. I'm gonna do something nice for her tonight, I think. And then pick up that summons before her hair turns white.

Sure thing. I'm interested in popping up there and getting a look at the place again, and see what you two have mapped out. What're you doing with Wanda?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony & Rhodey
[info]themachineroxx
2020-01-09 04:17 am UTC (link)
You've got a lot of time to do it.

I'm going to check in with Pepper anyway. She may need to talk about it with someone who isn't you. Even if she's overall okay with it, it's a lot. Even though it's not a surprise, it's still a lot.

Wanda and I are going out to the Raft to talk to the woman with the trident. I had a chat with Fury about Candy and it left me with a few questions. Like how did she get to be such a hardass for HYDRA? And that got me thinking about magic. So I talked to her and Strange, and Strange is doing the transport so we don't have to worry about the pregnant woman in a helicopter and also because then she knows she can get OUT. It's pretty damn brave of Wanda to go in the first place in my opinion. But she agreed so we're getting it done before she's busy with babies.

You know, I don't really get how a robot body can father babies. Like, did you make him biologically that way or is that, like, her magic or something?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony & Rhodey
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-12 09:56 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, but starting off without seeming like a total jackass is hard.

Ouch. Keep the punches above the waistline, will ya? Still, you're probably right. Just don't talk smack about me and my previous status as Super Slut behind my back, and we're golden.

Everyone in HYDRA is a hardass. That senator who called me a prick at our award ceremony. Pierce. A billion stone faced former agents and hell knows who else now.

So you're telling me, your fellow M.I.T. alum, that Candy Lee (that's a stripper name by the way) has been playing with magic before she got herself the tackiest pitchfork in existence. Oh my god, I hate HYDRA and their glowsticks of destiny. Imagine what would've happened if Thor and I hadn't refused to turn Loki over to Pierce and his cronies. Yikes.

Anyway. That's a lot to ask of Wanda, considering she got locked up there with what looked like either a suppression unit or a bomb around her neck. And Vis wasn't magic. 100% pure android. Even the Mind Stone was like a super computer, running it's own almost sentient program.

Vision always had his own personality separate from that. Even if he was tapped in enough to use the stone as a weapon, I know based on past convos that he couldn't understand it or know what it wanted, as much as he wanted to.

My guess is whatever happened must've been 100% Wanda. That's something to wrap your brain around.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony & Rhodey
[info]themachineroxx
2020-01-13 04:03 am UTC (link)
I'm pretty sure Pepper knows more about your bad habits than I do, and that's saying a lot. And I keep saying you'll have time with Darcy because you're going to blurt it all out at her just like you did this announcement and you don't have to.

We don't know for sure until we talk to her what Lee was up to for sure. But yeah, I'm concerned that that's the case. That HYDRA or what's left of it has something that could be pushing her buttons. And Wanda agreed to do it, which I knew was a lot to ask, but I had to get someone to do it and Strange only wants to do mystic business on his terms and she's an Avenger. We're in and out and Strange is handling the transits.

I was pretty sure Vision wasn't, you know, fully functional and all that a la Data, but I had to ask. This makes sense of Strange watching this pregnancy like a hawk, too.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony & Rhodey
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-13 04:12 am UTC (link)
You say the nicest things to me, bestie. Thanks! But I'm actively trying not to overwhelm her too much. I'll talk to Pepper about what we can do, when she's ready, but I don't want to push her too much either. She's juggling a lot of press pressure lately.

I know he's helping according to whatever freaky rules Hogwarts has for their wizarding school, but I really want to just flip him off as hard as I can sometimes. God, that would make me so happy. Right in his face.

I kinda get an internal cringe every so often that he's watching all of us, not just those buns in Wanda's oven, and he's not saying why.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony & Rhodey
[info]themachineroxx
2020-01-13 04:34 am UTC (link)
Hey, I'll be good to Pepper. She just needs someone to talk about this with that isn't you. Ideally that isn't me but I'm better than nothing and she knows I'll call you on your shit even if I enable you sometimes.

Pretty sure Strange is watching us. Kind of the way Fury is. But I get Fury, or at least I kind of do. And I think Strange is like him except for magic. Got to keep an eye on people who are powerful in case shit goes wrong. It's just that Strange has so much power and so much responsibility that he can't put a hand in without really messing things up, so he doesn't. I've been in his shoes, where doing something might make it worse, so I know it can be a lot. And he's got a lot more power in his magic than I do, so he has to be more careful. Also apparently the dude doesn't sleep so I kind of wonder about that.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony & Rhodey
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-13 04:55 am UTC (link)
I trust you and so does she, so go for it. Schedule that way in advance though, maybe over lunch? She needs to eat too.

Oh yeah, but I think it's for way different reasons than Fury. I get where Fury's coming from too. The guy's genuinely worried about us, he does give a shit even if he acts like he doesn't, and he's trying to keep his eye on everything. That and we're great when it comes to facerolling big baddies, but our off time is a dysfunctional drama-go-round for a guy like him.

With Dumbledore, I have a hard time trusting anyone who keeps clamming up if and when I ask questions. I remember that monotone asshole kept clamming up on day one, even if I forgot what questions I was asking. It was right after he portaled into my workspace and bitch slapped my brain by dropped a messed up alternate universe on me.

Wasn't he a surgeon? Do they even sleep?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony & Rhodey
[info]themachineroxx
2020-01-13 05:00 am UTC (link)
Yeah, I'll make her eat lunch.

I cannot argue that the off time of the Avengers is a drama go round. It's like junior high up in here some days.

Don't call him Dumbledore. He's not that kind of asshole. I get where he's coming from: he's got oaths to keep and stuff like that. Except with magic, he may not be physically able to talk about it.

I think he was? But apparently these days he astral projects when his body is sleeping or something.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony & Rhodey
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-13 05:09 am UTC (link)
Thanks. I'm glad you're gonna hang out with her at lunch. I mean, she's part of our Junior High School class too . Someday I want to ask her to prom. That's kind of a big deal. Maybe I should write one of those notes with a "will you go out with me" and some yes or no boxes on it.

Seriously though, you're right. There's a reason why we kept splintering off to work on our own stuff most of the time. I think we'd strangle each other if we had to share a living space for longer than a week. Or they'd strangle me. Whatever.

Might be true, but I'm still gonna call it like I see it. Even Gandalf was nicer, and he guilt tripped that fool of a Took.

Ok. So he astral projects.

One question that is really more of a statement? What is our life right now.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony & Rhodey
[info]themachineroxx
2020-01-13 05:22 am UTC (link)
Hey, I'm like the salutatorian of this class so don't give me any crap, class clown. Also I think the thing with the ring means you're obliged to take her to the prom.

I don't know what our life is right now, but I'm going to take it. It's nuts but it's a good kind of nuts.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony & Rhodey
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-13 05:28 am UTC (link)
What if she doesn't want to go with the class clown anymore. I'm joking, I know she does. I got that title in the yearbook, fair and square. Don't be jelly.

True. It beats the alternative.

If anything's wrong with Pep, like really seriously wrong and not just the usual irritation about me being me, then you'll let me know? Right?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony & Rhodey
[info]themachineroxx
2020-01-15 03:32 am UTC (link)
I am not jealous of being the class clown. I just don't like it when you make fun of my stories.

And--I won't break any promises to Pepper if she makes me make them but if she's got a real problem I'm going to push both of you to talk about it. I want you both to be happy and well together.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony & Rhodey
[info]the_iron_man
2020-01-15 08:22 pm UTC (link)
You don't like it when I open my mouth, period. That's why we're friends. Because you say it when I verbally spray it.

Well sure, but I mean if she's feeling sick or something because of stress. Not that she'd be telling you any super shady secrets or if she's having an affair.

But if she tells you super shady secrets or is having an affair, I want to know. Just sayin'. I got dibs on you since I've known you longest.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Tony & Rhodey
[info]themachineroxx
2020-01-20 08:19 pm UTC (link)
Tony, she is not having an affair. If she's stressing herself sick, I'm going to tell her to go to the doctor. And besides, Morgan is going to be the one to tell you if she's having problems, not me. Don't joke about that.

(Reply to this) (Parent)



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