I need a sword.

Good news: I have a new phone.

Bad news: I spent all afternoon taking apart the head on the Benetar to get the old one back.

Just an update on "Mission learn about Terran culture"

• Swayze is still better than the Bachelor. Sorry Darcy, I tried.
  
• I have met Earth's greatest hero, and his name is Skywalker.
  
• Modern art makes me feel like stabbing something with my sword. Next time I get the bright idea to go to a museum, we can visit the Collector.
  
• Crepes are the best invention on this planet. Change my mind.
  
• Sam, you were right about communicating. But I was not prepared for how difficult it is.
  

---

( Star-Lord )

---

( Nebula )

---

( Dr. Palmer )

Dr. Strange explained what's going on and I'm still not sure I'm following, but this morning it was nighttime in 2017, I walked down the block, and suddenly it was morning in 2024, so...I'll go with it for now.

So hey, I'm Tandy.

Are there really Avengers here?

Okay, SO. I have exciting news. I moved into my own floor in the building with Tony's penthouse. To celebrate my housewarming, I've decided that we ladies need a proper slumber party. Now, unfortunately, because I know myself, I'm going to make it 18+, sorry young'uns. But all the other ladies who can read this are invited.

No, Quill, you cannot come even if you wear a wig and a dress.

Yes, Loki, you can come if you want to shapeshift.

I'm looking at Saturday the 19th. How's that sound for everyone?

We're back!

Thank you everyone for your well wishes. We had a lovely time.

We saw there's been a lot of new faces while we were away. Welcome. And just a reminder that the portal in the Tower goes directly into our house. We like having guests but please give us a head's up if you're coming. It can be surprising to have someone unexpected walk through the house.

Hope everyone's been doing well while we were away.

It's really hard to concentrate in class when you just did cool Avenger things just weeks ago. Also why if Flash still such a jerk.

Friday once I figured out what he meant by that said I should introduce myself here.

So here goes Hi. I'm Raven. I just got here from Genosha.

I have taken it upon myself to seek initiation to the sorcery that is Swayze. Peter Quill, this is something you were not wrong about.

I may need to go stab something very soon though, before I turn into a vapid TV kardashian girl.

While this is still frustrating, I have gotten time to catch up on a few things, including being introduced to "Netflix & Chilling". Darcy was kind enough to bring me a few things and introduce me to that.

So... I guess I should introduce myself to all of you. Hi, I'm Kitty Pryde. I'm 21, grew up in Illinois, and was in my junior year at Columbia University studying Computer Science and Mathematics.

I'm not sure what else to say. I would love to find a Temple and a ballet studio nearby, but I don't know if it would be safe for me to attend either.

Thank you to all of you for being so kind and welcoming.

Locked to Guardians

Roll call. Are we all here? I know Strange said T'challa, Hope, Bucky, that chick with the kids, and some dude named Phil are gone.

Has anyone heard from Drax?

Nebula, what can I do?

Some of the new arrivals aren't aware, or likely aren't even part, of our situation. They aren't displaced, but I can see their fates are coinciding with our own. So from now on, I'll be using a displaced filter for those of us from another universe. Those coming from Genosha or that were already a part of this universe, won't know what we're talking about. Or it may take them longer to understand.

I wanted to let you know that the spell net over this city has registered some departures. Hope, Wanda, Phil, T'Challa, and Bucky are gone. This universe is unpredictable. I don't want to sound hokey, but treasure those you have for the time that you given.

Oh, it is nice to move my fingers enough to use this thing. It is also nice to be able to function not in a haze of painkillers.

I guess I should introduce myself, I'm Rogue, and, uhh, I'm new around here. And I'm also broken, so, if anyone has any recommendations for delivery food, share?

( Tony Stark )

---

( GOTG )

So. Not gonna lie folks, kinda creeped out by some other dude calling himself Starlord.

This is quite disorienting. Not the tech, that is very intuitive, but I doubt that one is supposed to travel through time to battle their own family and then through a rift in reality in such rapid succession. I was told to take care of myself, does anyone here know how this is done?


[NEBULA]

I have an infinite number of questions, sister. I will start with 3.

#1. Are you the Nebula who despises me?
#2. Is there actually no way off this planet?
#3. These Terrans, do you trust them?

Holy eff bomb, guys.

I totally forgot about Hallowe'en (Thanks G!).

What are all you losers going as?

I'm going to wear no underwear and be the sexy version of me. It's going to be hot.

I was advised to reach out through here. Hello, I am Gamora. I remember vaguely being here before, but details are thoroughly lost.

Thank you to all who went out of your way to rescue me. I owe you a real debt.

Hey everyone. I’m Peter. Parker? Peter Parker. From Queens. I’m Mr. Stark’s intern and he said I should post here cause I guess we’re all in the same boat? I’m from the other universe which was just…the worst remake of every bad apocalypse movie I've ever seen. Seriously. But I’m not dust in the wind here like that really old song and I got to catch an actual Pikachu, so this timeline's not that bad so far.

I can’t believe some of you are Avengers?? What’s that even like? How do you even

Anyway, hi! Um, how's everyone's day going?

[Drax/Gamora/Peter Quill]

I probably should have mentioned this before when the reality stone was freaking out, but most people around here don’t know I’m Spider-man? That would be so cool if you guys could keep that between us. It was pretty awesome working together! I can cross 'catching Pokemon with aliens' off my bucket list now.

I am Gamora. Is this the reference board where I inquire about how to fit in on this miserable little planet?


( private message to loki )

Why are you crying while listening to the Bee Gees? What's wrong?

Peter, who is not a man, yet not quite a dude, is sad and leaking profusely from his eyes. I suggest everyone leave him alone to wallow in his despair until he is man enough to use a Kleenex instead of his shirt.

I'm not feeling so good, so I'm staying in bed today. If anyone needs me make sure it's an emergency please.

Valkyrie has taken her leave of us. I wove a spell to find her and alas, she is no longer here among us.

[private to Gamora]

I would speak with you, if you have the time and willingness to do so.

I am Peter Quill, also known as Star Lord, also known as a Guardian of the Galaxy (you're all very welcome).

Now. It's been a while since I've been on Earth but can someone let me know if thunderstorms that bring terrifying nightmares/visions a normal thing? Cause if not, what the fuck, not cool, Universe.

I would like to go back to my regular scheduled dreams of Pamela Anderson running in slow-motion. (I have no idea why Baywatch isn't a Universe Wide Thing, but it should be. Gold.)

Hey guys! It's me, Scott.

Yay weird circumstances? So I guess, yeah. I'm here, and I'll be doing some contract work for people who need some electrical engineering or programming without the whole...legal paper nonsense. Because that former theft stuff really puts a damper on trying to do anything ever again.

Day to day aside if anyone needs Ant Man for heroly things--and where are we with that anyways? Should I be talking about that? Whatever, I'm here. Again. Let's just not...go to jail this time. Full disclaimers needed before hopping back into the suit. I have a kid I would still like to see. Please. Thanks. Cool.

[Text to Ellen]
Hi, this is Gamora. Have you found anything new about the fight club? Things appear to be quiet for now, but yours was really a good idea and I'd like to follow up on it. Just letting you know if you're still in, I'm still in.

[Text to Loki]
Loki I am so sorry to only message now but I heard about your friend, is she alright? And you and Darcy? I was at the site, helping with the debris and things so I saw you from afar but couldn't even say hi. And I've been working strange hours at Stark's. Still, it's no excuse, I'm sorry.

Loki and I are having a lot of sex. Thought you all should know.

[Loki]

This is what you get.

> I may have gotten us jobs
> And a place to live
> You're welcome
> Well Tony Stark's... "other half" may have but I asked.
> Where are you? We never got to go see a Broadway show.
> Aladdin seems nice.

Hello! Are you hiring, by chance? Peter and I really need jobs but all forgery aside I don't think we can convincingly perform any tasks that pay well enough. Anything you could throw at us, seeing as you own a whole company? Thanks in advance.

I need a new place to live.

And a new computer. I broke mine.

Hey. Listen. I know we're all kinda waiting for something to top the Sharknado incident or for someone to get arrested or whatever BUT, hear me out. I got a gig being a DJ at Retro Club NYC this week on Friday night. All of you who are of age to go to a Terran club should come and dance and drink and have fun so they might actually hire me.

I'm looking at you Asgardians especially since I know you all can party.

Peter I know you're in the next room, probably, but I'm already on the computer and I'm extremely frustrated so here goes: We should move into just one room and keep in it for a while longer, save that money, get a job, get a few wages and THEN rent a place. These cheap places are ridiculous, too far away or just a room with other people and we can't do that. One apartment didn't have a kitchen!

I'm nowhere with jobs either. What do you think we should apply for that we might be remotely qualified for? I mean you know more about how the world functions in general than I do. We can worry about the work experience papers later. But I'm pretty sure most weapon/thievery involving work is illegal.

[Text to Peter Quill]

> I contacted Strange. He says Barnes (Bucky I think it was?) has a way to get us documents. How much cash have you got left?


[Text to Bucky Barnes]

> Hi, I'm Gamora. Dr. Strange told me you were asking around about who needed credentials, or documentation, or whatever applies best. Peter Quill and I do. Can you help? Thank you.

I'm really sorry to bother you again but Peter and I got to the conclusion that we're not going anywhere fast and we need to start thinking realistically about being "real people" on this planet. We need a place to live, jobs, all the papers people have and we thought we'd ask you for help. I know you got more than you bargained for when you tried saving the world already, but we know Stark's going through a serious thing and we don't really know anyone else all that well. Anything you can help with or point us to would be really appreciated.

Peter, we need to talk. My room, yours, or elsewhere?

Great.

That's. Just. Great.

Stark set aside a certain number of hotel key-cards and available funding month to month, under the table. I'll try to accommodate new arrivals, but some of them might need to share a room. Eventually. If this goes on for as long as I think it might.

Be careful.

One of your space faring organizations is launching something called Falcon Heavy into space in only five minutes. It has a car inside. Although I don't know the reasons for this object choice or why it should go around the sun for a billion years, this means you're closer than I thought!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbSwFU6tY1c

So if I wanted to get some clothes, affordable, of the black and leather variety (black more importantly) where would I go?

I am Gamora. I was told you can cast some sort of magic so I don't appear strange to terrans. If that is true then I want to know what that entails and how it works. Can we meet?

[Private to Gamora]

I don't think you'll be saying Comic Con for much longer. Send a private message to Loki. He quite skilled at casting illusions.

[Private to Bucky]

Loki has agreed to help. Send him a message regarding when and where you want to meet, and he can cast an illusion over you.

Attention friends! I have decreed that we should all gather and celebrate being together in this strange time and place. There shall be a party at my living quarters this coming week ending. If you can see this message, you are invited. There will be weak Midgardian spirits, and delicious delicacies for all and sundry to consume and imbibe at your leisure! Let us eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we may die!


( [Private to Loki] )

Hello. I'm Dr. Strange. I'm the reason you're reading this right now.

No, it wasn't intentional.

No, I can't fix it.

Yes, I'm here if you want to yell, scream, or ask questions.