the displaced; ic

Well, this is worse than two furries fucking in a funhouse in front of children. Who am I supposed to get drunk with now?

ETA: QUENTIN COLDWATER:

You wanna do that alone thing you do, or you wanna get shitfaced with a couple friends?

Okay. I thought I'd fixed the whole getting pulled into a different universe thing. Though I guess this is different from what I'm used to. Also, my parents are not going to be happy when they find out I was dragged through a magical portal to Texas.

I'm gonna be here awhile so...I'm Miles Morales. I'm fifteen, and I'm from Brooklyn. I was also told that I need a guardian to be let out of quarantine, so help, I guess? I'm a good kid, I can clean up after myself, and I guess I can get a part-time job and help out around the house or pay rent, if someone needs me to. I know it's pretty inconvient to just be saddled with a kid you didn't plan on getting.

While I appreciate the faux snow setup in Phoenix Park, any interest in turning one of the other parks into a literal snowglobe? The 60 degree weather is apparently putting a crimp in my kid's holiday cheer, and I'm inclined to do something about it. I'm sure the locals won't mind. Been awhile since the town had a gas leak anyway.

TEXTS TO JULIA WICKER

> Alright, Shrubwitch. The time has come.
> You, me, and the Christmas cheese.

WHO: Tony Stark (MCU), Julia Wicker
WHAT: Tony and Julia experience the Pokemon version of can't move the sleeping cat, guess we're stuck here.
WHEN: Friday, November 29
WHERE: Stark Lake House
WARNINGS: None
STATUS: Complete

( “You didn’t want to sleep in a bed tonight, right?” )

My "ears" appear to be compromised. Diagnostics are showing there is no problem, but I cannot hear anything. Not internal body sounds, nor static which my implants sometimes pick up on.

Is there someone willing to look at my implants?

WHO: Nebula, Tony Stark
WHEN: Friday
WHERE: Tony's cabin by the lake
WHAT: Nebula gets her updates.
TRIGGERS: Character death and consequences.

( He was her first friend. The first friend who wasn't Gamora's first. )

We're still in Texas?

I'm going back to bed.

[Filter to Howard Stark]

How are you settling in to good ol' small-ish town Texas?

[Filter to Shortie (aka Tony Stark MCU)]

While there's a break in big weird things happening and upping the stress levels, I figured it's a good time to ask: how are you holding up?

( package delivered via mail to Clint Barton (MCU) )

The bad news is getting ☠☠☠☠ on your boots is somehow worse when you know exactly what it is.

The good news is the rest of your burgers are safe from ancient curses.

The moral is you can declare something to be a miracle or try to eat it. Doing both is just asking for trouble.

[ Filtered to Howard Stark, sometime after this. ]

You've made your point.

So what's next? A face-to-face? You can hit me up for whatever you didn't find on Wikipedia, and I can pretend to be handling all of this in a calm and reasonable way.

Sent via Jarvis (with permission)

300 mylar balloons with the words "IT'S A BOY!"

Singing Telegram(s) hired to sing "Happy Birthday" 48 times.

A Baby's First book with instructions to please complete the pages as best he can and return the finished product.

[Texts to Bruce Banner]

>> What happened to keeping in touch?
>> How are things with the other guy?
>> Ride a moose or a mountie yet?

Who: Tony Stark (MCU) & Julia Wicker
What: Julia and Tony get out of town for a day or two.
When: Sunday, the 16th, after the ball
Where: Portlandia
Warnings: So much guilt
Status: Complete in gdocs

( I just ask that you kindly remove my portion from that guilt I know you're internalizing. )

I HAVE A SON?!

Jarvis, I need a drink.

Peg, help me out here, will ya?

Steve! How... how friggin many of you are there?

....that's one hell of a smooth process for newcomers. How long has this been happening for them to get it that perfect?!

I HAVE A SON??!!?!??!

I realize that we're over our comfortable limit for crazy at the moment, but anyone want to volunteer for contracting an ancient curse? Cross something off the old bucket list? I've got some sliders here with your name on them.

Texts to James Rhodes

>> I gotta split for a couple days.
>> You good with watching the kid?

[FNRB]

It appears as though several among our staff have been altered. Please check in here to let us know if you are among those affected and we'll ensure coverage for your position.

ADDED:[Alice Quinn]

Are you able to create portals for Dr. Chakrabarti to see patients?

WHO: The Displaced and a bunch of fairies.
WHEN: From midnight until 6am. Technically early Sunday morning.
WHERE: Another dimension
WHAT: The Unseelie Court invites you to a ball. (Make sure to tag your characters as you add them). Masks arrived shortly after the Abducted were taken the prior night.
TRIGGERS: TBD

( Welcome, welcome! )

Well, this has been some bullshit.

[Magicians + Tony Stark the elder]

Just so you all know, Julia's gone. Considering she disappeared in a swarm of hummingbirds, I'm assuming this is faerie bullshit.

So yeah. I'm voting we destroy some fucking faeries.

WHO: Tony Stark (MCU) & Steve Rogers (AU)
WHAT: Tiny Steve gets a Stark upgrade that isn't serum-based
WHEN: Sept. 3, after this, in reference to this and this
WHERE: Tony's workshop
WARNINGS: None
STATUS: Complete in Gdocs

( Making gear for Steve Rogers is a Stark family tradition. Now I get to one-up the old man by outfitting two. )

FNRB PORTAL STUDY + IANTO & PEGGY (AND THEIR ASSISTANTS):

How's the incoming and departing notifications coming along?

So apparently there's this new Spider-Man video game out on PS4 that's getting really good reviews and I was just going to ignore it because I don't google myself and I probably know more than I need to about other Future and Alternate Mes already...

But...

Has anyone played it? Like is there anything in it that I shouldn't see? Because if it's just me swinging around New York stopping muggers I think that would be okay, right? Ijustreallywanttoplaythisgame. 😬😬😬

So as you saw on CNN, there's a situation in Paraguay. It does resemble the attack on the Fort Neill base in the last 90's. The Bureau is looking into official channels to speak with anyone on the base or anyone with any knowledge of the base. This is a very precarious situation due to an international military being involved. Please do not attempt something on your own; you could jeopardize what we're trying to do.

The Bureau will keep you as updated as we can.

We'll reach out when there is a need for assistance.

FILTERED TO T'CHALLA, OKOYE, RHODEY, TINA COHEN-CHANG, SAM WILSON (616), CAROL DANVERS, KATE BISHOP, CLINT BARTON (616), SIF:

Can you guys be on call in case we need backup at the Bureau?

We don't know how many people might end up needing to go. We don't know if we're going to be attacked again, but I'd like to make sure we have people on our side. Those of you with bigger powers — looking at you Danvers — may end up stationed at exits just in case it gets by everyone else. If you've got suggestions for others, let me know.

FORT NEILL RESETTLEMENT BUREAU:

We're working on negotiations to get down to Paraguay to see if we can get inside that building, take a look at the fresh scene and what it looks like. I'm not going to lie, if it's anything like the aftermath we found here, it's going to be a bloody mess. If your stomach's a little on the light side, let me know. Do not compromise this by whining. I will not hesitate to fire you if that happens.

Anyone with computer experience, I'd like to get you all working on grabbing every image, video, and audio leak we can find. More than that, I want to look into other potential military bases getting hit with strange and sudden shut downs. I want all of them, even if they've been decommissioned in a property ceremony.

BUCKY BARNES MCU:

I'm probably going to need a raincheck on that vacation.

Letting people know, I'm going to go away for a while to get my head together. Try to get in touch with the Other Guy and come to some sort of [...] agreement? Compromise? Reconciliation? And I can't do it here. Too many distractions, especially with the randomness the Portal pulls. I've notified the Bureau to let them know I'm taking the time off. Not sure exactly when I'll be back.

I'll have my tablet with me, so I'll still be able to keep in touch, but I don't plan on being online a whole lot.

Who: Tony Stark (MCU), Bruce Banner
When: Wednesday, August 15, the day after Bruce Hulked out in Toon Town
Where: Malibu Manor's guest house.
What: Tony talks to Bruce about making peace with the Hulk
Warnings: Low
Status: Complete in Gdocs

( I have a box of waffle mix with our name on it... )

WHO: Tony Stark (MCU) & Julia Wicker
WHAT: After a conversation on the network takes a turn, Tony shows up at Julia's to check on her and clarify something that apparently didn't need clarifying
WHEN: Aug. 31, after this
WHERE: Julia's place
WARNINGS: None
STATUS: Complete in gdocs

( Tony, since I’ve known you, you’ve always been my guy. )

AUNT PEGGY CARTER

Natasha tells me you're the one to ask about a particular project of my father's from when he passed through here.

[Bucky Barnes (PH)]

I had a good time this weekend. Nope sounds like Thanks for taking me to see Brooklyn, Buck. Pretty amazing how much it still feels like home even after all these years. We gunna make it a habit of forcing each other to do something fun every once in a while? Because I would be okay with that.

[Tony Stark (MCU)]

Any time in particular work for you to come over? You mentioned wanting to show me something?

FORT NEILL PORTAL STUDY TEAM + PEGGY CARTER & IANTO JONES:

Once upon a time, Howard Stark had a system in which he figured out how to determined who was coming and going in relation to the portal. It saved a lot of guessing work for the others.

I've noticed an uptick in people wondering who disappeared, and I think we can figure out a way to replicate that system. I'd like you all to work on this system as a first priority so we can get this up and running as soon as possible.

We'll use arrivals for our own records, and to protect the privacy of those who arrive. They may not want everyone to know they have arrived, but I believe departures could trigger a notice that goes to all phones as soon as we know.

So how about it, guys?

[Tony Stark (MCU)]

So I had an idea.

( CONTENT WARNINGS UNDER THE CUT )

FILTER TO FRIENDS*, EXCLUDING MARGO HANSON & QUENTIN COLDWATER

( not an IC cut )

FILTER TO LEIA ORGANA

How do you feel about the 8th for New York? I can get us tickets for Hamilton right now if that works for you. The 15th also seems doable on the ticket front.

FILTER TO THE WAUGH-REN FAMILY

Thank you for the plants, Fray. I like mine immensely. What does yours look like?

FILTER TO QUENTIN COLDWATER

When do you think you'll have a spare few hours?

FILTER BETWEEN THE ELIOT WAUGH'S

When you were in the hotel, you got memory updates, didn't you?

* If you think they are friends, probably are!

IN argonor of puimpkin splice lattes ives made my own cocktail

we're out of rhyh whiskey

can you please get some more? thanks

TEXT TO JULIA WICKER

Want to play hooky tomorrow?

YEET YEET!!

The fine folks at Fort Neil Resetttlement Bureau still need your help.

As you know we’ve had quite a few disappearances lately, friends and loved ones that will be missed. It’s left some holes that need to be filled in our schedule. I know standing around as a guard isn’t glamorous. You may feel like your time and experience could be better used somewhere else. But as a guard, you’re the first line of defense for our community, and the first friendly face for new arrivals. The job is important and the pay is pretty good, too.

We provide training and work with whatever circumstances the portal throws our way. Please consider pitching in.

Thank you.

Generally less enthused about the Saturday Morning Cartoon experience now than I was going in. Still, I guess I can see the humor in the whole hit-by-a-cartoon-ambulance thing. Packs a bigger punch than a Lego Hulk, as it turns out.

[ PETER PARKER, cc: JAMES RHODES ]

Your days of freedom are about to dip into the single digits. Did you get anything from the school with a list of how many number two pencils you need or whatever?

WHO: Tony Stark (MCU) & Julia Wicker
WHAT: Tony and Julia attempt a trial/supply run in Toontown that quickly goes sideways
WHEN: Late Friday afternoon, Aug. 17
WHERE: Toontown, Tony's workshop
WARNINGS: Cartoon ridiculousness to an extreme degree, singing animals, villainous golf balls, public drunkenness, jazz music
STATUS: Complete in gdocs

( Somehow it's even worse than I imagined. )

[Audio Post]

Oh Avengers. You may wish to find some pants for your dear captain and come to Toon Town before your friend does something he'll regret.

... Banner. Don't you dare. Remember the ship? We all got along marvelously on the ship.

Banner! Put me down this instant! No smashing!

THOSE WHO WERE ON TITAN:

I think we should come up with a plan should my father arrive in this domain. If he has the Infinity Stones, we are doomed, but if he does not, we stand a chance.

Turning into a lego has made me a master builder

( [not an ic cut] )

This is cool.

I'm heading for Toon Town, does anybody want a lift?

How do you get rid of a cartoon light bulb over your head? It only shows up from time to time, but it's really damn annoying. People keep asking me what my idea is, and if you know the clientele of Needful Things, then you know how they like to sit and talk at you for hours.

Has anyone tried to pull a Popeye yet? I'm operating under the assumption it'll work but I wonder if it has to be canned or if you could get by with one of those freezer bags and if it'd have the same effect.

Probably has to be canned. Comedic effect and all.

MARCELINE ABADEER

Heard through the grapevine you're affected. You doing alright, kid?

FAMILY FILTER

Is anyone possibly interested in a Looney Tunes marathon because of all this?

I need a safe place to go to ground. The bananas are after me.

WHO: Tony Stark (MCU) & Julia Wicker
WHAT: Tony and Julia finally talk some things out, but it's kind of hard to have a serious conversation when one of you is a Saturday morning cartoon
WHEN: Wednesday night, Aug. 15, following this conversation
WHERE: Tony's kitchen
WARNINGS: Do cartoon tropes count?
STATUS: Complete in gdocs

( It isn't what you think... )

[Audio Post]

No. ... No, I forbid it.

Did you hear me?

I demand you stop this instant.

Munin put me down!

[The sound cuts out in the middle of what is most definitely a raven laughing itself sick.]

I gotta say, as far as portals shenanigans go, this one might be my favorite.

Can anyone out there beat jingoistic water foul?

Awight.

We aww agwee dat dis is unusuwah. But we'he used to dat here. We shouwd assesh who aww has been affected and aww be vewy vewy caefuww untiw--caefuww untiw--we should exacise caution untiw we undastand what hash happenedd.

So we need to detahmine wh iz affected and if you n3ed hewp, contact the wesettlement buwwo

But I hope we can aww hewp our neighbas untiw this is sowted owt.

[Tony & Jim, aka The Adults]

Hey, so I have some questions?

1. Who's Thanos?
2. What's an Infinity Stone?
3. People turn into black dust???
4. Asgard is gone?
5. Is this what Tony remembering and getting stabbed was about?
6. Is everyone okay? I mean besides Tony getting stabbed. Cuz, you're going to be okay, right? You got the nanotech?

Okay, thanks.