Jurassic City - Network

Open letter to Dinosaur City:

Please stop sending the weird alternate universe Avengers who have known each other about two weeks and are awkward and sad. Please send actual Avengers. Yes, my sidekick and her band of teenage vigilantes are here. Yes, my smoking hot girlfriend is here. Yes, Luke and every white Hero For Hire is here. Yes, Deadpool is here. He's going to say something now. Speak his name and he appears or something And, most importantly, yes, twelve year old Bucky Barnes is here. But we really need actual Cap and Stark. Not the weird bargain bin versions. Note - I'm not calling their Widow bargain bin. I know better. Still, our Nat would be nice.

Thanks.

PS - Don't send our Hank. The old guy is fine.
PPS - DO NOT SEND RICHARDS. NOBODY WANTS HIM. SUE DOESN'T EVEN WANT HIM.
PPPS - Special request for Peter Parker.

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Emma Swan, and I'm the Chief of Police here in Jurassic City.

As most of you've might've noticed, last night we had an earthquake. So far, no one seems to be reporting in any massive damage to any buildings, or any injuries or fatalities, but unfortunately, the barrier did fall down as a result of said earthquake.

Now, thanks to Mayor Dearing alerting me with enough time, I was able to magically repair it, like I did three months ago the first time we had a similar incident. While I was able to fix it, some of the dinosaurs did get in, and you might've noticed them roaming the streets this morning.

Luckily, since the barrier is up, none of them can get in, but the problem is trying to get them out, as last time, they all left before the barrier was back up and running again.

If you're going to venture outside, I'd advise taking extreme caution, and only leaving if you absolutely have to. While some of the non meat eating ones did get it, there's quite a few carnivores, and they will not hesitate to take anyone who they think would be a decent meal down. So please, take this seriously, as I strongly advise against getting eaten.

Currently, we are attempting to work on a solution to get the dinosaurs out of the city in as quickly and effectively as possible. Any feedback or input to help us make this happen as soon as possible would be appreciated.

What the fuck is this? Dinosaurs? Seriously?

I don't have time for this. I've got family I got to get home to.

Dinosaurs are cool.  When does Hit-Monkey get here so I can feed the raptors?