It was easy counseling veterans through their trauma because I was done with my service. I was a citizen again and my trajectory in life was certain. Well, as certain as it could be for anyone. I knew who and what I was. But I've put myself in a war again and now the nightmares, goddammit. They never left but I could handle them before. Just needed a morning run to put everything back into alignment and I'd be straight. But I'm in a war again and the nightmares don't let me sleep.
It's going to be me this time, falling out of the sky, covered in fire like a diving phoenix. In my nightmares it's me or someone I care about and I can't catch them. Hell, it was Barnes once and
he blamed me for it. Steve...blamed me for it and I couldn't shake that heavy anger when I woke up. It stills lingers in me.
I'm the man you call on to back you up and if I can't do that then what good am I? I couldn't save Riley, my own partner. I'm no Avenger, no superhero. I'm just a man with metal wings strapped to his back.
I'm going to be the one falling out of the sky. If I'm lucky. If I'm not, it'll be someone important and if I don't catch them, I might as well fall with them.