InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I hate my tonsils!"

Peter Quill (bamshangalang) wrote in avengers_net,
@ 2020-08-23 15:25:00

Entry tags:

- network, darcy lewis, drax, gamora, jane foster, nebula, peter quill, stephen strange, tony stark

Oh, I’m Sorry. I Don’t Know How This Machine Works

So. About your lawn, wetlands are environmentally important, you're welcome!

The wizard told me to talk to you about the Benetar. She's gonna need hanger space. Don't know the exchange rates, but I'll shoot you some Xanderian credits for fees. What's the parts sitch?

I'm gonna need a roll call and a sit rep.

So. Not gonna lie folks, kinda creeped out by some other dude calling himself Starlord.

(Post a new comment)

	snarkyintern 2020-08-23 11:21 pm UTC (link)
	Peter! You're back! I missed you. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	bamshangalang 2020-08-24 01:52 am UTC (link)
	~~lather, rinse, Bereet~~ Uh. Yeah! I've missed you too. So uh..... do you know me/me or do you know low-fat margarine "I can't believe its not butter" me? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	snarkyintern 2020-08-24 01:56 am UTC (link)
	Oh, you don't remember this universe. I'm Darcy. We were friends. Good friends. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Private to Darcy bamshangalang 2020-08-24 02:12 am UTC (link)
	The kind of friends that are like, "This is disgusting, smell it." or the kind that busts you out of jail..... or the kind where I go to my drawer and there's no boxers left, so I have to go over to your place and dig them out from under the bed and then turn one of them inside out so I'm not going commando kind of friends? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Peter | Darcy -

snarkyintern, 2020-08-24 02:14 am UTC

Re: Peter | Darcy -

bamshangalang, 2020-08-24 02:28 am UTC

Re: Peter | Darcy -

snarkyintern, 2020-08-24 10:38 am UTC

Re: Peter | Darcy -

bamshangalang, 2020-08-24 04:48 pm UTC

Re: Peter | Darcy -

snarkyintern, 2020-08-24 04:59 pm UTC

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bamshangalang, 2020-08-24 05:56 pm UTC

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snarkyintern, 2020-08-24 06:41 pm UTC

Re: Peter | Darcy -

bamshangalang, 2020-08-25 01:26 am UTC

Re: Peter | Darcy -

snarkyintern, 2020-08-25 12:35 pm UTC

Private to Peter Quill

greenspace
2020-08-24 12:28 am UTC (link)

I have been added erroneously to your team distribution group, but as Nebula and Drax are your only team members present, and both appear to be addicted to a Terran plant with psychotropic properties, I do not know that they can provide you adequate intel.

They both appear to be in good health, and claim that this is only a temporary pleasant feeling. I do not trust it.

This reality is boring and when there is no villain to battle, the heroes in it do not seem to find it necessary to find their own gainful employment but rather earn credits by putting their names on frozen desserts. That way they have time to sit around getting stoned. Or high. Or baked. Urban Dictionary has taught me that these are all synonyms because Terran vocabulary is ridiculous.

While I had heard rumors of your powers, I am impressed that your ability to perform pelvic sorcery has even managed to cross a reality divide. I have promised the Destroyer of My Father that I would eliminate all that threaten his progeny, so if you do not intend a repeat performance, I would suggest you tread carefully with that one. She is pretty though....

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Private to Gamora

bamshangalang
2020-08-24 02:01 am UTC (link)

So I forgive you for the sac tap, not that you've apologized, which is fine, because I'm a forgive and forget kinda guy. I mean if some other you was the one that nailed me in the gnads, then don't even think about it. But if it was you, you who racked me in the balls for literally no reason, well.

If you don't want to be on the team, that's cool, but you're missing out.

FYI weed was made for people like you. Just putting it out there.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Private to Peter

greenspace
2020-08-24 02:19 am UTC (link)

I had every reason. When you manhandle a stranger without their consent, you should expect to be emasculated. You should be thanking me that it was only temporary. I do have a knife.

I forgive you for refusing to murder the older version of me, even though I understand you promised to. I do not understand why I would trust that to a Terran, they struggle with emotional attachments.

This is not about what I want. This is about the facts.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Private to Gamora

bamshangalang
2020-08-24 02:37 am UTC (link)

Look jolly green, you might have thought we were strangers, but you were into me, waaaaaaaaay into me. You probably still are. It's okay. Chicks dig me. I get it.

Some people shouldn't ask other people to murder them. You should ask Dr. Phil, he'll tell you how right I am.

It's okay. I know it's a fact that you're into me.

Let's talk about something important. Do you know anything about interstellar space craft repair?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Gamora | Peter -

greenspace, 2020-08-24 02:44 am UTC

Gamora | Peter -

bamshangalang, 2020-08-24 02:55 am UTC

Re: Gamora | Peter -

greenspace, 2020-08-24 03:01 am UTC

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bamshangalang, 2020-08-24 03:29 am UTC

Gamora | Peter -

greenspace, 2020-08-24 03:35 am UTC

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bamshangalang, 2020-08-24 03:54 am UTC

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greenspace, 2020-08-24 04:00 am UTC

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bamshangalang, 2020-08-24 04:38 am UTC

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greenspace, 2020-08-24 04:50 am UTC

Re: filtered to Guardians -

bamshangalang, 2020-08-24 04:57 am UTC

Gamora | Peter -

greenspace, 2020-08-24 05:04 am UTC

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bamshangalang, 2020-08-24 04:54 pm UTC

Gamora | Peter -

greenspace, 2020-08-24 05:29 pm UTC

	science_fact 2020-08-24 01:56 am UTC (link)
	Hey you're back. Does this you know Thor? Gamora didn't. I'm Dr. Jane Foster, Thor's wife. (Reply to this) (Thread)

bamshangalang
2020-08-24 02:07 am UTC (link)

I'm here, that's for sure. Nice to meet you!

Do I know Thor? I don't want to talk smack about the man, but you know I knew him when he was in his "Elvis crammed into a polyester suit worshipping the porcelain goddess stage"

Did you marry him on purpose or was this one of those "Oh hell what DID I drink last night and where did this tattoo come from" kinda deals?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	science_fact 2020-08-24 02:28 am UTC (link)
	He's not that person anymore. It was an intentional wedding. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bamshangalang 2020-08-24 02:39 am UTC (link)
	Didn't mean to offend you! People change. I get it! He's a lucky man. Congratulations! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) -

science_fact, 2020-08-24 02:53 am UTC

(no subject) -

bamshangalang, 2020-08-24 03:00 am UTC

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science_fact, 2020-08-24 03:23 am UTC

the_iron_man
2020-08-24 03:52 am UTC (link)

Ok yeah, that's why the overwatering sensors were going berserk and there's a mud gully where the ship landed. My Audi? Totally doused. Thanks a lot. You and Strange, Thor, and Thanos? Total disregard for lawn maintenance. That's going to take a week to dry out.

Anyway, because I'm not a total dick? We can get your ship in the hanger and no one's going to to tow her off. No exchange rate necessary. Just help out when there's trouble, and we're even stevens. We can fabricate parts on site based on what you need replaced.

Maybe I missed you. You used to be my personal assistant, but you sucked at picking up lunch and I had to do DNA scans to make sure no one (you) pubed it.

Just stick to captaining and we're all good.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

bamshangalang
2020-08-24 04:17 am UTC (link)

Yeah. You I remember.

Are you seriously going all , "Get offa mah LAWN!" Next thing we know you're gonna be walking around in your bathrobe with your hand stuck in your boxers screaming at the neighbors. Seriously, maybe lawns just aren't your jam. Ever consider that me, Strange, Thor and Voldemort have been doing you a favor? We're trying to help you.

Yeah, helping people out, it's kind of a thing. But I'll pay for own my stuff. Not to be a jerkwad, the last time someone was all "Hey Man, I love you. Here's a free place to live. And free stuff...." Yeah, didn't work out so great.

Were they his/my our pubes? Because half celestial pubes are probably nutritious AF. Other me was probably trying to keep your old guy cholesterol down with some extra antioxidants.

Captaining is my thing. Captaining and guns. What did you do with my trash panda?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

the_iron_man
2020-08-24 11:13 am UTC (link)

No, I'm not get off my lawn. It's more like "Hey, you left a viking mark burned in it" or "Elrond and the Indiana Jones from Outer Space left it swampy" or "Grape Ape just blasted the shit out of everything."

No pubes/spit/bodilysubstances were detected, because gross, and my cholesterol is great. ~~Only not so much.~~ Anyway, I don't know what happened to you last time with your whole living situation, but let's just say the bar's set pretty low while you're here. No one's winning that limbo contest.

Guess what? There's a reason why I'm not a pet owner. Other you probably left this universe's Build-a-~~Bear~~Raccoon out in space somewhere when this you showed up. If he makes it back with the talking tree (that's basically a poster-child for not starting forest fires), betcha he's gonna be pissed. Captain.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) -

bamshangalang, 2020-08-24 05:14 pm UTC

	doctor__strange 2020-08-24 03:55 am UTC (link)
	Wild guess. You didn't bother reading the pamphlet, did you. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	bamshangalang 2020-08-24 04:18 am UTC (link)
	It was soggy. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	doctor__strange 2020-08-24 10:23 am UTC (link)
	If I gave you a dry one, would you read it? Or does it need more pictures? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) -

bamshangalang, 2020-08-24 05:17 pm UTC

	filtered to Guardians the_destroyer 2020-08-24 04:07 am UTC (link)
	Quill! My friend! It is good to see you in this other universe. Where dead people are alive and there are many Terran customs. I have learned the joys of professional wrestling and frozen burritos. This planet also has a sufficient amount of crime. You have done well being born here. (Reply to this) (Thread)

filtered to Guardians

bamshangalang
2020-08-24 04:27 am UTC (link)

DRAX. So. Yeah. We gotta fix the ship. I miscalculated, and then stuff started falling off and Strange showed up and then things went to hell in a handbasket. So. We're gonna need to do some repairs.

You know what is better than frozen burritos? Gas station burritos and jojos and jalepeno poppers. Then you get a giant plastic mug and you fill it with every single kind of soda they have. Once it's almost full you go to the candy aisle and you get you some pop rocks.

Man. Earth can be pretty backassward, but you can't beat the food.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: filtered to Guardians greenspace 2020-08-24 04:53 am UTC (link)
	Quill - less typing, more meeting me in the garage. Drax - Do you want to come scavenging for ship parts with us? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

filtered to Guardians -

the_destroyer, 2020-08-24 10:27 am UTC

Re: filtered to Guardians -

bamshangalang, 2020-08-24 05:18 pm UTC

	Filtered to Guardians blueanemone 2020-08-24 04:23 am UTC (link)
	You're back. You missed the wedding and rescue mission. It would likely have appealed to you. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: Filtered to Guardians bamshangalang 2020-08-24 04:54 am UTC (link)
	I’m getting the hang of this. The me you think missed the wedding sad rescue isn’t the me I am. Are you the you that is a psychotic robosmurf or are you the you that worked that out? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Filtered to Guardians blueanemone 2020-08-24 05:00 am UTC (link)
	Ah. I see. I have been here before I arrived, too. I was not mistaken for the other me. I am the me who worked that out, though I don't think I'm psychotic. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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greenspace, 2020-08-24 06:00 am UTC

Filtered to Guardians -

the_destroyer, 2020-08-24 10:13 am UTC

Filtered to Guardians -

blueanemone, 2020-08-24 10:48 am UTC

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the_destroyer, 2020-08-24 10:52 am UTC

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blueanemone, 2020-08-24 05:20 pm UTC

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bamshangalang, 2020-08-24 05:25 pm UTC

Filtered to Guardians -

blueanemone, 2020-08-24 09:48 pm UTC

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blueanemone, 2020-08-24 10:46 am UTC

Nebula -

greenspace, 2020-08-24 02:04 pm UTC

Gamora -

blueanemone, 2020-08-24 03:17 pm UTC

Nebula -

greenspace, 2020-08-24 03:25 pm UTC

Gamora -

blueanemone, 2020-08-24 05:28 pm UTC

Nebula -

greenspace, 2020-08-24 05:36 pm UTC

Gamora -

blueanemone, 2020-08-24 05:45 pm UTC

Nebula -

greenspace, 2020-08-24 05:50 pm UTC

Gamora -

blueanemone, 2020-08-24 09:40 pm UTC

	ohgodno 2020-08-26 08:05 pm UTC (link)
	I never spoke to your other self, so really you're coming in new here. That's a pretty good place to be. Welcome, welcome! (Reply to this)