the displaced; ic

Hello, boys and girls, and Moose. Name's Crowley. King of Hell. 😈

Get your freaking out or pissing yourselves or impotently threatening me out of your systems while we're not face-to-face. Let's be civil. Have me round for tea or buy me a drink. I promise I won't bite unless I feel like it.

[Napoleon Solo]

Once this curse has run its course, you should talk to Q. You know how he gets. He’s wondering if you secretly harbor some of dark, negative feelings about him. I, of course, told him to shut the fuck up. Also I told him it was probably a sex thing. And that it would be shitty to message you or talk to you further while you were under the curse so you should be safe.

I don’t need to know and I won’t be offended if you don’t reply to this because you’ve handcuffed yourself to a bed somewhere. But if you do reply what I really want to know is an idea of your favorite foods, drink, etc. so I can suitably impress you when this is all over and you need a friend. I enjoy having the upper hand like that.

[Bucky Barnes]

This is me checking in to see how you're handling Howard's arrival.

I'm going to eat one of everything on the menu at JJs and play video games all day.

TEXT MESSAGES TO MARCELINE ABADEER

» I am glad you're back living here.
» This is just to check in on how you're doing.
» I know you saved someone at the ball.
» And I saw the entry by the "king of hell."

[Filtered to Anya Corazon]

Perhaps it is a week without talking is finally getting to me, but I am feeling more open than usual.

Is there anything you would like to talk about?

Mycroft is still in a spell-induced sleep in one of my guest bedrooms over a week after the ball. Having no experience with faeries, how long might we expect these spells to last? Has anyone found anything other than time and patience that might break it?

Filtered to Edwin Jarvis

It seems that your employer has arrived.

[ FILTERED TO TINA COHEN-CHANG & JAMES ROGERS ]
Hi. Howard showed up. I'm not dealing with that very well. Wrote you two letters, but they got rambly and too honest, so I burned them. I love you two, but I gotta take off for a little bit. I won't be gone for too long though, but take care of Han and Kap while I'm away, yeah? I'll be in touch. - Disregard. Staying.

[ FILTERED TO STEVE ROGERS SQUARED ]
Not dealing with Howard being here very well so I'm taking some time away. I know it'll be hard, but don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. Disregard. Staying.

[ FILTERED TO NATASHA ROMANOFF ]
How is he?

[ooc; Talk of murder, assassin triggers, and death in comments.]

GUYS! THIS IS IMPORTANT! BLAKE BORTLES IS PLAYING TODAY AND I CAN'T EVEN WATCH IT!! What a dumb place this is!

[Texts to Bruce Banner]

>> What happened to keeping in touch?
>> How are things with the other guy?
>> Ride a moose or a mountie yet?

I am still getting used to the modern fashions, but these dresses are cooler than my dresses from home here, though it is still uncomfortably warm. I don't mind school, I suppose. It's different from what Ma taught me. The numbers portion in particular seems to have gotten more complex.

I like getting to learn new music, however. It's different from what I usually play at the house, but it's nice all the same.

FILTER TO VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN

If when this is all said and done and you return home to find an animal, I apologize in advanced. I'll try to be reasonable if it gets to that point. Perhaps a fish.

FILTER TO AGENT K

How is surveillance treating you?

[Neal Cassidy]

So... you doing okay?

FILTERED AGAINST CROWLEY & MICHAEL

So, now that Crowley's back, if anyone wants a crash course on how to defend yourself against my world's variety of demons, let me know. Also will do a refresher course for anyone who already knew the drill but hasn't had to think about it in a while. I always have extra holy water, salt, and pictures of devil's traps that you can use as a stencil for putting them anywhere, for anyone who needs them, as well as anti-possession amulets and tattoo designs. I also have the words to an exorcism and a recording of it that you can play on your phone, it works just as well that way.

Most importantly: don't make any deals. Period, end of story. If you run into any kind of trouble with him, please let me know immediately and I'll handle it.

FILTER TO GABRIELLE DELACOUR

Hello.

[...]

Did you get out unharmed?

FILTER TO CHARLOTTE WELLS

Would you prefer I reside somewhere else tomorrow evening?

FILTER TO MARINA ANDRIESKI

Are you solid yet?

Sent via Jarvis (with permission)

300 mylar balloons with the words "IT'S A BOY!"

Singing Telegram(s) hired to sing "Happy Birthday" 48 times.

A Baby's First book with instructions to please complete the pages as best he can and return the finished product.

SABINE WREN & CABLE:

Guess what?

I'm sending you to Pie de la Cuesta, Guerrero, Mexico. In January 2003, conspiracy theories say there was a suspicious chemical spill that left the town evacuated for several months. Conspiracy theorists suggest otherwise. A lot of similarities to ours and Paraguay's "chemical spills."

[Private to Peggy Carter, Natasha Romanoff, Ianto Jones]

Fort Neill Resettlement Bureau Management,

It is with regret that I turn in my two week notice of resignation as receptionist. I shall place an advertisement over the Network for the position, and will gladly train the replacement. Thank you very much for the opportunity to work with you, the experience was amazing.

[Private to Nadia Van Dyne]

Effective immediately, I shall be resuming my former duties as Mr Stark's butler. I've given the Resettlement Bureau my two week's notice, and shall be moving into Mr. Stark's mansion. Mr Stark has been told that I am your guardian, and is perfectly alright with you moving in, as well. It will be a bit of an adjustment, especially for the next couple of weeks, but I do not intend to shirk my responsibility to you.

Gabrielle, Tyler, I need you to take my phone and cut off my internet. I can't seem to adhere to basic professional standards, and this is no way to do business. The last thing I want is the yakuza finding out who embarrassed them last month. Mostly because it puts you in danger. I'm perfectly fine with them showing up at my door.

I miss Hiei. Jobs are more fun when he pretends he's going to do something awful and I pretend to talk him down and everyone stares at me as though they can't believe he hasn't set me on fire yet. He knows exactly what would happen if he did. Not sleeping on the couch. That doesn't actually work when your partner thinks sleeping in a tree is the height of comfort. Instead I ...

... just barely convinced myself not to share deeply personal details on the network and this is becoming awkward.

[Friends & Acquaintances*]

So, I'm in a little bit of a bind. Peggy moved out and today so did Jarvis. I'm still only six inches tall right now so I can't really get around by myself just yet. Anyone got a spare shoebox I can sleep in? Promise I don't take up much space. It's completely temporary, people's curses are lifting every day. I'll promise to be out of your hair as soon as I'm back to my normal height.

*A super broad filter, except it does not include Peggy, Jarvis or Bucky (PH). Why? Bucky (PH) is out of town and Steve isn't entirely sure where Peggy moved out, but he's trying to avoid making anyone feel guilty or awkward. But he's also a total idiot and might be wrong.


[Peggy Carter]

Jarvis moved out with Howard. Howard has extended an invitation for me to stay with him while I'm unable to open doors. I don't like the idea of you moving out. It doesn't sit right with me. You invited me to stay with you when I got here, and I'm grateful for it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, the place is yours. It should be yours, if you want it. I'll let you know when I can report back to the base. No change yet.

It's funny, but I find myself almost missing school.

[Filter: Flash]

Are you better yet?

[Filter: Albus]

Do they still teach magic at the school some?