I saw like a million rainbows yesterday!!!

[Thor]

You didn't come home yesterday 😁😁😁

And there were a million rainbows so... anything interesting happen between Tuesday and now today that you still didn't come home because I didn't have my breakfast buddy for two days now. 😁😁😁😁😁

So! What are we doing for your birthday?

Who: Darcy, Loki
What: multiple texts during Loki's week-long outing.
When: backdated! Aug 6 through 11
Rating: yellow, language

(Textholder)

Hi! How are you? Great I hope! So, I wanted to ask a random ass question... what kind of man was Odin?

So... where can I get some really soft purple bed sheets??

Tell me about Jotumheim.

I need French vanilla.... the original kind, from actual Paris... Ugh!!

So, do you have a headache? Because I have a slight headache.

( [to Team Science: Hope, Jane, and Scott] )

( [to Darcy] )

( [to Pepper] )

Figured we'd talk about this out of Thor's thread.

To a feast at my home. I believe you have all been there at one time or another, but if you require directions, my brother would be more than happy to provide them.

Tomorrow eve.

The more the merrier.

We are all deserving of some light hearted merriment amongst friends.


ooc: This will be fixed date event, so the open thread will be available for the whole month. let's have some fun before the world comes crashing down again :) also, easy AC ;) And if you haven't met Thor, he doesn't care! He likes everyone :D

Hi! So I'm sure you know who I am or a version of me... God, that's weird to type.

Sorry, side tracked! Um, Loki said I should ask you if I could borrow some Asgardian law books.

Trying to educate myself on it to better be able to protect you guys from our asshat government. As well as teaching myself how to read it. Thank you google.

[Posted much earlier than would be typical for Jane]

( This is astrophysicist Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin )

[Message to Steve]
Hi. Sorry I know this is random but would you want to go see a ball game sometime? I'd like to see a game before the season ends and you're the only person I know who might enjoy it.

Hi. I'm Iron Man. And I'm here with a PSA to remind everyone about something really important.

That this exists: [video is viewable in this post]

So the next time you're feeling blue? Chin up soldier! You're just one click away from a pep talk.


At least this gig paid well.

Right, so you all seem to know each other which is cool. I don't know any of you so since I'm a friendly kind of guy, let's fix that.

...and if Tony boss is reading this (or his terrifying fiancée), it's break! I'm on break! I can have breaks!


( 50 random questions )

So I guess I should be used to odd things happening by now. But even this hurts my brain a little.

Is it blasphemous to want to be somewhere other than your home city?

Attn: Loki

I tried texting you, but you blocked me so.. I'm emailing you.

So... after taking a day to internally have a melt down. Figured I'd reach out.

1. Sorry for freaking out.

2. Sorry for accusing you of turning people to dust, you can't really blame me for thinking it.

3. I'm sorry your Darcy was replaced with me.

4. .... Are you okay?

5. Please don't ignore this.

Okay so... After having a mental breakdown in my place (Thanks again Tony!) I guess it's better if I just get this over with...

I'm Darcy a lot of you know me, but...I don't know any of you. Apparently, the other Darcy that was here is gone and I arrived in her place so... I'm sorry about that.

But hey, I can still totally be your friend! Just ya know, bare with me is all.


Jane Foster

So...yeah, hi.

Thor

So how broken is your brother about this?

> Bad news. I gotta let you go, Lewis.

( [texts continue] )

I have finally learned to work this contraption without guidance, so I felt it was beyond time to introduce myself. I am Frigga, the former Queen of Asgard. Thus far I am thoroughly enjoying my stay here. These frocks are quite...freeing. Midgardian women have such marvelous choices for clothing.

What would make my being here so much better would be to see my son and other Asgardians. Pray tell. Has anyone seen Thor?

Valkyrie has taken her leave of us. I wove a spell to find her and alas, she is no longer here among us.

[private to Gamora]

I would speak with you, if you have the time and willingness to do so.

Text to Thor:

> Hey Thor
> It's Darcy
> I know you're kind of mad at me
> But uh you should come home.
> Your mom showed up.

It's my birthday and I do what I want to. Since I'm one of those people that's notoriously hard to shop for, I'll gladly accept the gift of gifs.

( I'll start. )

[Darcy]
> Where is Loki?

( This is the Blue Horsehead Nebula in infared light )

[Sif, Valkyrie]
I was able to pick up my Asgardian dress and bring it to New York. Do either of you want it?

[Thor]
I picked up my dress from Asgard when I got my lab equipment. I've offered it to Sif and Valkyrie but if they're not interested, do you want it? Hang onto it for when you're reunited with your people and give someone a piece of home?

Well that's a thing. I guess Franken-Friday snagged that as part of the news algorithm and posted it before I could make an announcement.

Anyway! Yep. We're getting married. You're all invited. Everyone on here. Huge party afterward. And hopefully a honeymoon without ninjas, terrorists, robots, or anything else attacking. That'd be great.

While we're still in announcement mode, Nick Fury is rebooting Secret SHIELD to help the Secret Avengers with some of the more shady stuff going on lately (like those super bullets). Co-funded by me and Pep. It should help get new information flowing in. So if you're one of those cloak and dagger types, he's the man to talk at.

Grats, Fury. Don't get all mad dad at me anymore.

[private to Pepper]

Someone really took your press release and ran with it, didn't they?

I found myself in New York. Pretty much literally.

[Tony Stark, Shuri]
Hi. Dr. Strange said one of might have a lab I could work out of? And I don't suppose that lab space might come with access to a radio telescope?

[text to Thor]

> The damage is significant, but she will live.
> It has cracked the hip bone and ruptured internal vessels, with much loss of blood.
> It will be messy work and take multiple sessions to mend this.
> Mind you, I am not a skilled healer.
> While you and Sif are occupied, I will seek Darcy's aid in keeping the Valkyrie occupied.

[text to Darcy]

> If Stark has no need of you, would you be opposed to staying with us?
> Valkyrie has been grievously wounded.
> If you can think of anything to prevent her from becoming bored, it would be appreciated.

Looking for Strange.

Loki and I are having a lot of sex. Thought you all should know.

[Loki]

This is what you get.

[text to Loki]

> Hey. We're going on a road trip.
> So get over here.

( Private filters to Matt Murdock, Darcy Lewis, Shuri, and Bruce Banner )

PEOPLE OF THE NETWORK! I MUST WARN YOU OF A POTENTIAL THREAT TO YOUR KIND. I WAS ATTACKED WITH A WEAPON OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN, ONE THAT HAS WROUGHT UNEXPECTED DAMAGE UPON MY PERSON. THE INJURY WAS SUCH THAT A MORTAL MIGHT WELL NOT SURVIVE IT.

EXERCISE EXTREME CAUTION IF YOU WALK AMONGST THE MIDGARDIANS WITHOUT DISGUISE OR ARMOR.

I realize you may not want to receive correspondence from me after what transpired.

Yet I would like to make amends and speak to you at length about certain matters, if you are willing.

I need a new place to live.

And a new computer. I broke mine.

I have received the letter from this building's "on site" manager.

( Eviction Notice )

This seems excessive. I did not realize everyone had to sign. Nor would I say it was willful. More of a slight oversight, if anything.

Hi! Still alive. I can wiggle the fingers on my right hand enough to type while saying ouch a lot.

1. I'd like to say thanks to everyone who helped bust my busted ass out of jail. Yep, even to the zombies, and to the even bigger diva than I am that threw me out of my own penthouse window a few years ago. You've made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

2. The legal team should be on it. Sooner or later (I think I heard it was sooner?), I won't have to give out a bunch of I.O.U.'s and I'll make things right. No more 1 1/2 star hotels for my frenemies.

3. Yay for my in-flight test data feed being recorded, and for their use of excessive force of the almost deadly variety, with an unknown (possibly test) weapon. And about a billion other things about mandatory conscription, pre-existing prison ships, and arresting citizens without due process being unconstitutional. Things I'll probably be talking about someday at a press conference or in court, where we all know I'm not going to follow what I was coached to say.

So that's that. I want to annoy my babysitters by saying ouch even more. Please post stupid gifs or pics so I can post back.

Edit: Or DON'T because Loki ruined it.

> Do you want me to come with you next time you need to 'welcome' someone who might be a stroppy little beast?
> I don't mind standing behind you looking ready to brawl. In a way I AM always ready to brawl anyway.

> Hiiiiiii!
> Can you try not to get your legs broken?
> Because that nice lady is about one sec away from unhinged.
> And I think the world's a better place if Blitzen keeps his cool.

[text to Darcy]
> Greetings, Darcy Lewis. Are you wary of serpents?
> I also wished to let you know I have mastered the pictorial language of Midgard known as emoji. Behold. 🐍


[text to Thor]
> We no longer have a leather sofa.
> We do have many snakes.
> You are welcome.


...minutes later...
[text to Valkyrie]
> Did I hear you scream?

Attention friends! I have decreed that we should all gather and celebrate being together in this strange time and place. There shall be a party at my living quarters this coming week ending. If you can see this message, you are invited. There will be weak Midgardian spirits, and delicious delicacies for all and sundry to consume and imbibe at your leisure! Let us eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we may die!


( [Private to Loki] )

Yooo, what up bitches?

Right so I know I've met most of you. I'm Darcy. This is your opportunity to ask me any questions you didn't before. Serious questions about being here and whatever.

If anyone needs anything, you come to me. I'll try to help you out and get it. Depends on what it is.

Also I've decided I'm rooming with Thor. You're welcome.

Imbibing on Midgard so far feels like having sex on a water raft.

EDIT Right so to clear this up: That is an idiom that means 'it's fucking close to water' meaning Midgardian spirits feel extremely weak. The actual act of sex on a water raft however is much more thrilling and I recommend it.

Hello. I'm Dr. Strange. I'm the reason you're reading this right now.

No, it wasn't intentional.

No, I can't fix it.

Yes, I'm here if you want to yell, scream, or ask questions.