Hello, citizens of Night Vale and people who remain inexplicably displaced here. So really, hello citizens of Night Vale and new citizens of Night Vale. Cecil Palmer here.
Just a few things.
First, a new forest has appeared out of nowhere on the outskirts of the city. Nobody is sure where it came from, mostly because nobody has bothered to ask or investigate, and it's best to approach it with caution. Really though, if it's anything like other forests that have appeared out of nowhere, it's probably nothing to worry about. Just, if the forest tries to compliment you, take anything the trees might say with a grain of salt. And, maybe, don't linger for too long. You never know what might happen. Maybe you'll turn into a tree yourself and add to the forest's numbers. But that was just the one forest, so probably not.
Also, School Board elections will be held soon. Granted, these elections are hardly democratic, and it seems likely the current President of the School Board will remain in power. As everyone knows, the current School Board President is the Glow Cloud, a sentient cloud that glows in a variety of colors and occasionally hurls dead animals at people. The Glow Cloud is all powerful. The Glow Cloud is all knowing. The Glow Cloud is mighty and terrible and awe inspiring. All hail the Glow Cloud. Also, topics on the schedule for the next PTA meeting are whether gel pens cause autism, the answer to which is the same as the answer to every other meeting question about whether random items cause autism - that answer being no, and proposed changes to the militia training our students receive.
In other school news, the Night Vale Scorpions will be playing their homecoming game against the Red Mesa Ant Carpenters. Heading the Scorpions line up this year is senior, Megan Wallaby, who is showing great leadership skills. For those who don't know, Megan was born as a grown man's detached hand, though she did receive a donor body a few years ago. With Megan at the helm, the Scorpions really do stand a chance of defeating their bitter rivals. Let's go, Night Vale!
The Library has been destroyed, once again, in a freak fire. It has also, once again, reformed completely overnight. Unfortunately, it still does seem to contain librarians.
The Scientists of Night Vale are investigating, well, something, probably. They usually are, in any case. Night Vale's head Scientist, the perfect and wonderful Carlos, has been making a lot of notes on a white board and hmm-ing, and then doing things with beakers and then making more notes. This, as we all know, is how science works. His brow is also furrowing adorably with concentration. Also, he is my husband and he is perfect and I love him. I might love him more if he took a break from science to eat something.
Open Mic Night at Dark Owl records will be every Thursday night starting next week. Owner, Michelle Nguyen says that anyone can perform, so long as they don't do music or comedy or spoken word. Owner Michelle Nguyen's girlfriend Maureen says to ignore her and perform whatever you want because really, life is meaningless, so what's the big deal anyway.
And, as always, tune in to my radio show for more updates on life here in Night Vale.
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