Welcome to Night Vale: In Character

Back home, I was getting ready to apply to Yale.

It's funny how plans change.

Maybe there's a community college around here or something. I still want to continue my education.

Opinions.

Kaspbrak, Tozier, Tozier-Kaspbrak or Kaspbrak-Tozier?

Speak now or forever hold your peace, which is the only time that's going to be a serious offer.

[Filtered to the house]

Okay. I know this might be a lot to ask, but do we still have that spare bedroom? My cousin Cheryl and her girlfriend Toni showed up, along with my infant niece and nephew, and honestly, they've both been through a lot lately, I think they could really do well staying with us. Cheryl especially.

I'd just feel better knowing that they were with people I trust, you know? And I can help out with Juniper and Dagwood. I know infants, especially infant twins can be a handful.

...Also, Eddie and Richie, my mom wants to meet you both. If that's okay.

This isn’t real.

It’s not real. It can’t be real.

What's going on? What is Edgar doing?

Where's Toni?

Where's Jason?

This place is screwed up in all kinds of ways.

[Eddie, Richie]
Hey. Mind if I stay for a while, let Betty's mom get settled in over there with my dad and stuff.

[Betty]
You okay?

I'm not sure what just happened.

Edgar? What have you done?

So, Thanksgiving is on the twenty-eighth. And I think we should all do something together. If you guys want, that is. It would just be nice to have everyone together for the holiday. Except Ben

Richie and I can host, since we probably have the most space. And I think between all of us, we have three and a half people with any sort of skill at cooking we should be able to put dinner together.

Just let me know what you guys think.

richie

This is a terrible idea, isn't it?

Okay.

This is unexpected.

Filtered To The House (Richie, Jughead, Eddie, and Lucas)

I know it's probably a little unconventional, but would anyone object to me making all of us dinner? Like a family thing?

I mean, if it makes anyone umcomfortable, you don't have to come, and I can just make you a plate, but I thought it'd be nice if we could all have a nice dinner together. And I'm a pretty decent cook. I'm not a five-star chef or anything, but I can actually make a pretty good pot roast. Oh, and cookies.

As far as weird places go, and this place is pretty weird, it's not so bad.

I mean, hard to complain when I got a roof over my head, and my girl is here with me. That's really what makes all the difference.

But I mean. I should contribute to the household. Anybody hiring?

I never thought that the weirdest thing to happen to me wouldn't be in Riverdale.

My name is Betty Cooper, and I have no idea what's going on.