Welcome to Night Vale: In Character

who: Eliot Waugh and Richie Tozier.
what: Drinking and being sad probably.
where: The cottage.
when: October 11. Evening.
rating: Mostly just two dudes being sad. References to suicide and character death.
status: In progress.

( magic might be bullshit and pain and suffering, but at least you didn't need to fish for a lighter )

Don't mind Cecil. He's sweet, but he worries too much about some things. The woods outside of town are completely harmless. Not the forest he said turns people into trees. That one is probably not so harmless. But my woods won't hurt anyone. In fact, sometimes people find what they need there.

Well.

This is unexpected.

Who: Eddie & Richie
What: SO YOU'RE NOT DEAD
When: Right now
Where: Big Rico's Pizza
Rating: TBD, probably low except for depressing talk of sad things
Status: Complete

( it's been a long, long time )

Look. I have had just the worst fucking day. I’ve been vomited on. I’ve been stabbed in the face. I was impaled by a goddamn clown and fucking died. And now I’m pretty sure Hell is in a fucking four corners state.

So can someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?

Considering I am a lowly stand-up comedian with a bachelor's degree in Broadcast Journalism, this is all above my paygrade.

Like, seriously. A dog park that is actually a gateway to Hell? I mean, if you want to get technical I guess I have experience with gateways to Hell and maybe child-eating monsters but otherwise. I don't know what to put on my résumé here.





All of the above was just a clever cover for how I am about to absolutely lose my shit though, I have to admit.