Welcome to Night Vale: In Character

Oh, this place again.

That's fine, because I got to go home for...Winter...mas? Wintermas? Is that what it's called? Solsticetime? Never mind.

What's important is that I had a lovely winter-based celebration and my Cthulhu dad is very proud of me. Best Wintermas ever.

So. This is a less than ideal situation compared to the one I just left. Anyone care to give a bloke a rundown on what's what around here?

Right. This might as well happen.

Where do I get a drink?

What the fuck is this and who do I have to punch in the face? Because let me tell you, I really want to punch someone right now and it's not gonna go well for whoever I'm punching, so someone should send me home right now, get me?

This is...well, it's something, isn't it?

Merilwen? Did you do a weird druid thing? Because not cool. Exceedingly not cool.

Who do I have to murder to get out of here?