Welcome to Night Vale: In Character

Well. I like the fact that this portal doesn't have spider eaters in it. Or high levels of radiation. That's a plus. I seem to be missing fellow spiders so I'm going to assume this wasn't intentional?

Ah. An inter dimensional kidnapping.

Haven’t had one of these in a while.

Does all these new people showing make anyone else think there's something shitty about to happen? Or is it just me?

I wanna know how many people I can tell I was right when something shitty happens.

Daisy, we should get fish.

What is this?

I do not understand.

Jon? Arya?

So this is new.

I don't think I realized just how tired I was until I actually got a chance to rest.

Things had been so hectic back in Hyperion. The break is something of a relief...even if it came about in a weird way.

I miss Rita I hope she's okay

Nureyev.

I'm glad you're here.

Ward.

Feel like a trip to the shooting range?

So how many things around here are venomous and at what point should you go to get something checked out after you pet something and it bites you and your hand swells up. Twice its size isn't that bad a swelling right, you could just hang out and wait a while?

Asking for a friend.

Well, now! This is absolutely fascinating! The last thing I thought when I woke up this morning is that I would end up stepping back in time, but who am I to complain? Never inspect a gifted animal too closely. That's what they say, isn't it? Take what you've been given as it comes and make the most of it. And that I certainly intend to do.

Hello, all you lovely people that I'm certain are listening! Ancient as this device might be, it doesn't take a genius to suss out its function. Fascinating design. A bit bulky, all things considered, but practical, I suppose. Far more practical than having it inserted into your head. Never will understand that one. Cybernetics. Fussy things with far too many potential drawbacks.

But I am getting quite ahead of myself, aren't I? Would anyone be willing to tell a lost little lamb just where he can find a place to stay?

( the voice that comes over the network is smooth but with an edge, the sort of voice you expect to hear narrating an old school noir detective film. he also doesn't seem to be aware that he's broadcasting. )

No. No no no. This can't be real. Get it together, Steel. This is just in your head. Residual radiation poisoning or you've finally cracked.

( a pause and a quiet, bitter laugh )

Guess it was just a matter of time after all...

All right. Don't make much logical sense, waking up in a desert after falling off a damn boat. I'm dead, ain't I? Seems only fair, everything that happened. What I damn deserve. Least of it.