It's all AU.

D'athe tilted his head as he watched the blue box in the alley, perched on a window-ledge. It looked like the box he'd seen in the library, but it couldn't be the same one. At least, he didn't think so.

Creeping closer, he sniffed at it, sneezing slightly. He reached out a paw to pat lightly at the surface, tilting his head curiously. It felt like wood, almost, but not like cut wood. Like a tree, life humming beneath the surface.

Hello? he asked cautiously, wondering if it were alive. He reached out to pat at what looked like a door, soft-pawed, curious. Can you talk?

The Master was getting a feel for this place.

A confused feel, mostly, but a feel for this place. He'd lost the coat and was down to a black button up shirt and black velvet trousers. Casual in this most casual of unreal places, sitting by a window in a cafe with a cup of tea like that was normal. Staring at himself through the window as he walked by.

( Cut for length )

Setting the note on the table with the book, the Master closed the door to the room, and focused a moment longer, adding the promised intercom to the desk before going upstairs. Rest and a meal would do him some good while John slept.

He was sitting outside, on the ground with his back against a tree. His coat and hate were beside him, his sleeves were rolled up and he was eating a piece of celery and reading a book. As he read, a white rabbit raced by in front of him. The rabbit was wearing a tiny little waist-coat. When he heard footsteps moments later he said, "If you're wearing a blue frock, he went that way."

He pointed, closed the book and looked up.

"Oh. Oh that just can't be normal."

He was squatted down, elbows resting on his thighs and hands half over his face, peering at the tree he and the Master had turned silver. It was a bit more silver that it had been, gleaming in the sunlight. It wasn't the problem. The problem was the squirrell that was sitting, upright on it's haunches, a few feet away from the Doctor, chattering angerily. It was a problem because it was orange - really, really, orange- and its tail was rainbow striped.

He'd thought he was doing fairly well keeping his mind together, but when a stuffed bear in a coat and hat walked through the hotel lobby he was forced to reassess. He put his newspaper down, got up and went out into the hall. It was gone. He came back in and demanded, of whoever happened to be handy, "Did you see that?"

Jack was making himself a cup of coffee. He opened the sugar dish and found a large mouse-like-thing with a fuzzy tail curled up and sleeping in it. He fished it out by the tail, held it up and stared.

"The hell?"

"Come on, then! A whole new world, just beyond these doors." The Doctor grinned over his shoulder at Jack and Tosh, throwing open the door to the TARDIS. Turning back, he stepped out, his grin fading a little when he didn't see the dark purple trees he'd been expecting. Or the blue ferny ground cover.

Spinning around, he yelped when he didn't see his TARDIS. "What? But... Oh, bloody hello!" He glared at the empty air, and the gleaming lake. At least he'd already shown Tosh the quick return switch. Except... the TARDIS didn't rematerialize. Several minutes passed, and he was still staring at an empty expanse of green grass, and a lot of water.

"Tosh'll figure out how to pilot it. Between her and Jack, they'll figure it out," he muttered to himself, turning away from the lake. A computer genius and a pilot - they'd better figure it out, because he really didn't want to be stuck anywhere again.

Sighing, he rubbed the back of his neck, grimacing as he set out on the dirt path that meandered through the trees, shoving his hands into his pockets. At least it was a nice sunny day, wherever he was.

( Letter to The Doctor and Master with the Roses- Please open together. )

John walked back into town. Still dazed, and not really thinking straight, he wandered until his legs near enough gave out. He slumped under a tree, leaning his head on his knees, curling his arms around himself protectively. His head felt like it was going to split open from pressure, and his whole body hurt.

He desparately wanted a shower, but he couldn't summon up the energy to stand, let alone find the hotel room. 

Tears began to flow down his face unchecked, as he smacked his head back hard against the tree trunk and howled.

Theta was yawning, holding a bear by the foot and wearing a Victorian era sleeping shirt, cut down to his size. It was early in the morning and that was probably the excuse for his attire, if not for the way he climbed onto a lap in the hotel restaurant, yawning and asking, "Can I have coffee?"

Jack was gone for the day, Ianto was awake, letter written and sent over some of his better judgment and he was. Drinking half a pot of coffee out of an incredibly large blue mug with the words "Universe's Greatest Head" written across it in white.

It wasn't Ianto's cup and he frankly had no idea what was written on it.

Jamie stared at the fading grin in the tree with something between horror and confusion. He backed up several paces, asking the person he bumped into, "Did I see that?"