It's all AU.

Ianto's temper was, frankly, shot.

He finished his (admittedly acceptable) coffee, took a deep breath, looked around, and asked person he saw who didn't look like Lisa, "Would you like to have sex?"

Because frankly this place was freaking him out and he needed distracted. Also his temper was shot.

Ianto looked up at the endless red sky of the town, tucked his hands into his suit jacket pockets, and sighed. Long sufferingly.


"Bloody Torchwood."

The Master had a book open in front on him, at a table in dining hall. But he was currently watching the coffee brew in the French press in front of him like it was quite fascinating.

Ianto had left Jack, eventually, when Jack was ready to let go, then headed back into the hotel, going for food. He got a bottle of water, then asked the Master, coming up beside him, "Do you want one as well?"

Ianto did not have his tie. He did not have his belt. He did, however, have a smug expression and a jaunty whistle as he wandered out of the hotel with two cups of coffee.

He offered one to Jack like he'd expected to see him. (He hadn't) "Coffee, Jack?"

Ianto rubbed his forehead and sighed, flopping down on a random bed that was just sitting in the lobby in all it's four poster glory.

"bugger."

It had taken Ianto a little while to get his shit together. Not just with Jack, not just with work, not just with the bizarreness of this place, but with everything. But he'd gotten his shit together, went back to trying to map this strangeness of this place.

And take some leisure time. He went to the bar, sat on the stool, and propped his chin on his hand, to look at the person next to him, "Hello."

The Master finally got a hold of the letter from Ianto. Talked to the Doctor, who assured him that talking to Ianto had been a good thing, and that he'd probably like Mr. Jones.

So he went to knock on Ianto's door. Struggling to keep his ego in check. He could listen to the Doctor's companions and alternate companions easily enough about such matters in regards to the Doctor. This wasn't really different was it?

Right?

Jack was still in jeans, with a long-sleeved dark blue button down over an undershirt. He was wearing his holster and gun, but he'd taken his coat off and left it, somewhere. He stepped behind Ianto, slid his hands around his waist and put his chin on Ianto's shoulder. "Hey," he said, quietly and in way of warning, just as his hands made contact with Ianto. "Come take a walk with me."

Jack was gone for the day, Ianto was awake, letter written and sent over some of his better judgment and he was. Drinking half a pot of coffee out of an incredibly large blue mug with the words "Universe's Greatest Head" written across it in white.

It wasn't Ianto's cup and he frankly had no idea what was written on it.

( Letter to The Doctor and Master with the Roses- Please open together. )

Jack was making himself a cup of coffee. He opened the sugar dish and found a large mouse-like-thing with a fuzzy tail curled up and sleeping in it. He fished it out by the tail, held it up and stared.

"The hell?"

Ianto was taking a break. Relatively.

He'd taken a shower, gotten some sleep, then headed out to get some food. He sat down on a bar stool, ordered food, then turned to look at the person next to him, "Hello."

The Master was vampire-hunting. Night-time, screwdriver ready to inflict pain, stake ready to kill if need be, and creeping through the empty warehouses and office blocks at the edge of town.

He had an inkling that he probably ought to check out the sewers, but he was leaving them for a last resort. Sewers were just so… eurgh.

"Jake, it's just a performance review, I'll be just fine!" Rhiannon laughed, rolling her eyes as she reached for the door to Jack's office. "Really! If things don't go so well, I can always call the Doctor for a lift off-world."

She turned, stepping through the doorway... and closed her eyes, tilting her head back to look up at the starry sky over her head. "This is going to turn into a psych review instead of a performance review, you know that? Really not how I planned to spend the next week in real-world time."

She looked back at the street, and gave the person there a smile. "Sorry. Just having an argument with fate, or whatever it is that dragged me back here." She waved a vague hand at the town around them. "It's been long enough that I was beginning to think I wouldn't come back at all."

Jack wanted to find Ianto.

Lacking a communication system, and the desire to walk all over the god damn town looking for him, Jack improvised. He climbed on top of the tallest building --the roof-- went to the edge, planted his feet shoulder width apart, and bellowed.

"IANTO!".

And kept doing it until Ianto turned up to shut him up.

Ianto chewed his bottom lip slowly as he read the newspaper. A newspaper dated 2012, detailing a meteor strike.

There were a stack of newspapers from various years and centuries- all post 2009- and a pad of paper with Ianto's neat handwriting covering pages on pages beside Ianto.

Jack wandered into the dining room and smiled round at the people already there. "Anyone here named Ianto Jones? Failing that, anyone else fancy having dinner with me?"

((A place to put more threads, since some people are having trouble with loading large pages))

( Spoilers for Adam - 2x05 )