It's all AU.

Even Jack eventually accepted that he wasn't going to be going home any time soon. It had happened on Edora and now it had happened here. He'd taken a room in the hotel, gotten some civilian clothing. That didn't mean he was going around completely unarmed of course, or that he'd stopped opening doors in the hope that behind one was the wormhole home.

He'd been exploring the city and had gone down an alley only to find what seemed to be an out-of-place police hone box.

"One door is as good as another," he muttered. He reached out and grabbed the handle but the door wouldn't budge. "Oh for Christ's sake," he said, rattling it. "What good is police box if you can't get in?"

There were a lot more doors in this place then Jack had expected. After a while, he wished he'd started marking the ones he'd already checked. Then again, who was to say getting out of here didn't involve some roving wormhole.

He could practically feel Carter's eyes glaring at him from across time and space when he thought that.

He opened another door and stepped across the threshold.

"Woah! Hey! Sorry."

Yana wandered into the hotel lobby from outside, bored half out of his mind and tired of walking. He was thinking about finding something to eat, and oh, about three other things besides, and almost bumped into an unfamiliar man when he turned a corner.

"Pardon me. Bit lost in thought."

The trip to PX8-49Y had officially been labeled "risky" because Carter had had to override some of the dialing protocols to get the gate to connect. And everyone knew what happened the last time the protocols had been jury-rigged.

But the MALP had made it through without incident and the feed back had revealed blue skies, trees swaying in a breeze, and a beach.

"Yes!" O'Neill cried in triumph. "Finally!"

But Hammond had waited for the various reports to come in before giving his favorite team the nod.

"SG1, you have a go. Report back in four hours."

"With pleasure, general." O'Neill hurried his team toward the gate. "Come on boys and girls, I can practically smell the ocean from here. The suntan oil, the shrimp on the ..."

He stepped through the gate, stepped out into a hotel lobby.

"...barbie. What the. Carter?" He looked around. No beach. No team. No MALP. No Stargate.

"CARTER! Where's my BEACH!?"