War Is Coming Communications.

So...

I was offered a job.

I told a politician who campaigned at me, what he was doing wrong and how he could make his campaign better and he wants me as an advisor. Its just a local thing but I'm well aware there are those who think I should stay as far from politics as I can.

I won't do it if it makes anyone twitch unduly.

So if anyone is looking for a good tutor I can now officially recommend Connor Temple, as I just got a B on my first History chapter test. B, in this case, stands not only for my grade but "Better than that bitch who sits behind me and laughs at me whenever I get a question wrong in class, and who totally got a B-." It is also pretty good for someone who didn't grow up in a reality where colonial America even existed I think?

The part that most of you actually care about: I was inspired by this success to try cooking again, since I was on a roll. So, um, that's what that explosion was earlier in the main kitchen. I promise everything will come off the walls. Really! Home Economics is not going to go well next semester

Kon
I'm sorry our study dates have involved...studying...lately. I promise I'll relax on the nerdiness now. Well, I mean, not really, but I'll stop walking around muttering about The French and Indian War anyway? And they can go back to being "study" dates?

Um...what the fuck. No, seriously.

John Rainbird. I will kill you.

You know, I got bored today and kicked a puppy.

Wasn't as fun as it used to be. Gotta move onto bigger targets.

[Demons and Lucifer]
Do we have any orders? Things have been quiet on my front and I hate it

So, have you ever heard of onychophagia? It means compulsive nail biting. Sometimes people get so addicted to biting their nails that they bite off their fingernails and keep them in jars to gnaw on at a later date, when their fingers just have stumpy cuticles. Then, sometimes, these people die and begin haunting bed & breakfasts and pushing people down stairs to replicate their own death at the hands of their brother. In these cases, in order to rid the bed & breakfast of said ghost, the toenails count as part of their remains, like bones or hair.

Why, yes, I did spend Sunday crawling through a basement to find and burn jars of finger and toenails while an irate ghost threw things at my head/spent the day before the toenail discovery trying to toss Jaina and I down flights of stairs. How was your weekend?

...I'm still going on another hunt when I get a chance though.

Does anyone have a video camera they'd be able to lend me for a bit. Don't need anything fancy, just a camera.

I'll make cupcakes in exchange.

So I just watched this show, where a woman survived being shot by an AK47 by her breast implants. Point blank range too.

I'm kinda tempted to look into those now.

[ooc: Said story is true, I saw it on TV last night. lol. William Shatner's Weird or What ftw!]

[Filtered away from Tenel Ka & Evil Types]

In a week I'm going to marry the love of my life.

Now I'm fully aware a lot of you dislike me. I'm even more aware my own family are mired in issues that make those irritating daytime talk shows look sane. But Tenel Ka is by far the most sensible of the lot of us and a much nicer person than I am.

Which means I want her to have a perfect day with people there to help us celebrate it.

You're all invited to attend, friends and acquaintances alike. There will be a ceremony and a celebration afterward. But know that if anyone ruins her day I will end them. I'm looking at you Gabriel. Just stay the kriffing hell away from my sist

[Tenel Ka]

I love you.

One week.

[Sam]

I need to talk to you about something. I know you're not going to like it, and.... I get why, but I think maybe there's at least a tiny chance you'll get why I have to at least try.

I need you to not try to kill Gabriel. I know he's done horrible things to you - and your brother - but... he's different now. And I know that's not an excuse, it doesn't make what he did go away, but it should at least earn him another chance.

He's on our side now. Yes, I'm sure turning you into a woman didn't exactly get him on your good side, but it was, honestly, harmless - and temporary. It doesn't mean I'm wrong about him.

I know you probably won't like the comparison, but - you gave Ruby a second chance, right? Probably more than a second chance. Yeah, demons and Archangels are probably very different, but that doesn't mean this isn't the same. They can change, too.

I'm not asking you to like him, or even really to trust him. Just please don't kill him.

[Cade]

Just wanted to let you know I'm not ignoring what you said the other day. I just need some time to think and sort all this out before I try to do any kind of serious talking about it.

And I'm sorry. For... a lot of things. I'll try to do better than just a crappy apology like this once I get this sorted out, but I wanted to say it now, too, anyway.

I'm not slipping. I want that clear. I'm not going to fall. I'm Jacen. You need to remember that.

But I have been pushing people too hard. The family is falling apart and I can't fix it. I've tried. I've attempted everything I know and nothing is working and that's not acceptable to me. It's just not.

But I can't keep pushing or I'll lose you all. So I'll stop.

[Allana]

I don't hate your friends...I stood watch while Ava detoxed didn't I? I just think that Jennifer was insane. And I truly am glad she's gone. Talk to Needy if you want to know why that is.

But you know your own mind, and I am proud of you.

[Tenel Ka]

I can't help them.

I think that's what bothers me most

[Cade]

It needed to be said. So thank you for saying it. I've taken a few days to get my head around things. I haven't forgotten what we discussed.

[Jaina]

So, it seems the future is smarter than us. Are you going to realize your mistakes now?

[Leia]

We start tomorrow.

[Anakin]

I'm trying you know. I really am. You just have to bear with me sometimes.

[Sam]

Do you still want to stop the archangel?

First of all, I want to point out that the fact that it has to be me, the traumatized guy who is still trying to banish the images of dead orphans from my nightmares, who has to do this is fucking ridiculous and you should all be fucking ashamed of yourselves.

You want a solution to all this family drama? Fine. Buckle up, kids, because here it is. I’ll start with the most important parts first and go down in descending order: Jacen, Jaina, PULL YOUR FUCKING HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES FOR TWO GODDAMN SECONDS.

Jacen. YOU ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT AND PEOPLE WHO DISAGREE WITH YOU ARE NOT IDIOTS. Stop it. Don’t whine about it, don’t get all dramatic and intimidating at me, don’t idly wonder if I’m right and then ignore it, I am right and I sure as shit am not the only one who thinks this. Stop. It. Get your shit together or you’re going to end up raging at the idiots alone, because no one will want to be around you anymore. I sure as hell don’t. You want confirmation? Ask around, maybe starting right at home. Or hey, look in the mirror and try being honest with yourself about where your head’s at right now, Lord Caedus. You might be unpleasantly surprised if you can manage the honesty.

Jaina. YOU DO NOT GET TO BE INDIGNANT BECAUSE YOU GOT REPEATEDLY CALLED ON BEING A BITCH. No, you don’t need to confer with your winged boyfriend. You were a bitch, you got called on it, and instead of sacking up and admitting it, you threw up a huge wall of misplaced indignance and ran away. Right after telling me all this bullshit about how you’d be there, too, so hey, thanks for reminding me that the only person in the galaxy you can ever have faith in is yourself. I needed that reminder, for a second there I almost had something close to hope. Oh, also, drop the hypocrisy before it reaches terminal levels. I’d just like to point out that when I pulled a harmless little prank on you, you were furious, and yet when your boyfriend changes reality for a laugh and no, you shouldn’t bother trying to convince me he hasn’t done that, you act like everybody just needs to loosen up. You can’t have it both ways, and honestly? I am far from the only one tired of it.

Leia, Han, Luke. Start acting like you’re a part of this family. It shouldn’t be the traumatized Jedi/Sith/whatever the fuck I am from the far-flung future handling the family shit by himself.

Anakin, Allana, Tenel Ka, you’re good to go.

So there you go, guys. A gift-wrapped solution to the family drama you’re all saying you want, tied up nice with a bow and everything by easily the last person in this family who should have had to do this. What you do with it is your business. I’m done.

[Anakin, Allana, Tenel Ka]
Turning my phone off. I did my part. Somebody else can do the rest or the family can fall the fuck apart, whatever. I really am done.

Yeah so, ignore the loud noises from the back of the complex. I thought jumping off a rooftop might inspire my flight to make a come back, but all it did was prove gravity is still in effect. Oh well, at least my strength is back, only tore up my shirt and not my body. So yay for that? I really miss flying right about now. It would be awesome if it just came back. Just saying. Magical seal give me my flight back?

So, in light of everyone's current predicament, I'm swinging back through Lawrence with the first batch of this self-made whiskey. Now, I'm not just giving this away because I'm not an Imperial Mission, but since I like you guys so much, I think I can give anyone that wants to give it a shot a discount. Guaranteed to make you forget what gender you are or your money back. One free shot will be given, of course. I'm not expecting anybody to buy blind. Disclaimer: I'm not responsible if your liver packs up it's shit and leaves. Also, I've got maybe a few jugs of the stuff, so supplies are for the moment ridiculously limited. If this actually works out I might consider changing that, but until then, get it while the getting's good.

[Jacen]
I'm done playing this game. So while I'm in town, what exactly do I need to do to prove to you I'm ready?

OKSY YOU KNOW WWHAAT i am maybe a little drunk because this was REALLY GOOD WINE andd there is no chesse cake and ava keeps eatinga lll the ice cream and thechocolate so theres none of that eiether so i am having WINE instead okay?

but. thats not the pointt. THE POINT IS I am tired of this wholle YOURE CHANGING thing. yes i am. no i am not changing becaus of HIM it is becauseof EVERYTHING it just happens to include him inside of the everythingg okay?

i left durng famine becaus i could tell it wouldb e bad if i stayd. i was SUPER PROTECTIVE and it was only barely affeckting me so if id stayed id probably have been psycohitc and maybe killd people or even you guys and i really am sick of beng insane okay? so i left. there wasnt anything i couldve done if id stayed and i was scared and so i LEFT and im sorry but I DIDNT KNO WWHAT ELS TO DO.

its notlike you guys allgo crazy everytime something goes wrong around here you hav noidea what its like being insane every other month.

also i didnt really kill jacen. that wasnt me that was future!me and future!mee was kiling him becaus she thought itwas the best thing todo she wasnt just bad ok? i wouldn't dothat.

aslo i still find it funny youre all wrong gendereded and i dont carre if that maeks you mad.

[Gabriel]]

you know what?/ I love you and all annd this is hilariouss bbut you have crappy timeing.

I just spent the last two days learning how to make whiskey from a pleasant old man. Leaving Lawrence has already paid dividends. I'm thinking I'll be putting this new skill to use as soon as I figure out where I'm setting up shop.

Three broken coffee pots and something that my boyfriend (who is half Kryptonian but apparently all wimp) refused to drink because it might kill him later, I have learned to make coffee! It's amazing what being stuck in the country far away from coffee carts and diners does for your learning curve. Maybe I shouldn't have given up on the cooking so soon. Maybe cooking just...happens better in the country?

Mom
After the Famine thing I did a lot of thinking, which, I know, shocking, and it sort of made me see that getting to be entirely selfish isn't exactly the wonderful thing I'd imagined it to be. So, I'm not saying I'm okay with what you all expect of me, but I don't know I just
...no, too many serious conversations this week already
Are there things about Hapes you like? I mean, you know, I'm just curious. I hardly remember it, and all I ever really hear about it is how dangerous it is so I just kind of wondered.

Cade
How's life on the road?

I propose random silliness as part getting our minds off all the bad thats going on and part getting to know you for the newbies.

Shag, Marry, Kill.

If you don't know the game its very simple. You put your name down. People then give you three names and you choose who you'd sleep with, who you'd marry and who you'd kill.

May God have mercy on our sanity

Fuck this, I'm out. I watched my family crumble once already. I'm not sticking around for this shi Jacen, you can give me the Force back or not, up to you, but I don't have any plans on coming back to Lawrence once I've put it in a rearview mirror, so if you want to give it back, you might want to do it.

[Allana]
When I get to wherever it is I'm going, you'll get the address and the invite. Tell anyone the address and you'll lose both.

Um....I'm a little confused and that doesn't really happen often. I found this...communication board when I got on my phone. It hasn't particularly helped me figure out what is going on yet, though. I was just sitting in a restaurant waiting on a date (I met him on the internet, I was totally nervous, I had a lot of reasons to be, I mean agreeing to meet with someone you met on the internet is a little bit weird but we had so much in common and he seemed charming and my boss encouraged it, so I asked and he said yes and I still can't believe that he said yes...not the point, Katie) when suddenly I was here, and I can only assume that here is the midwest, by the landscape and everything....and of course my guess was all too right. I saw a sign and did a search on my phone (it's a really handy little thing, actually) and it says that I'm in Lawrence, Kansas, only I don't quite understand how I got here. AT first I thought I might be dreaming because I have dreams about strange things like this sometimes. I dream about waking up somewhere and then discovering I have powers like a superhero or something, but I know that it's completely illogical, so obviously I came to the conclusion that this has to be a dream. Then I pinched myself and it really hurt, but I didn't wake up. So the confusion from that is obviously that I'm not dreaming. Unless for some reason pinching wouldn't knock me out of my sleep, in which case I'd appreciate other solutions from you. If that's the case, though you'd all probably be parts of my subconscious or something of that kind. I don't know that I know any other ways that are supposed to wake you up. I really should brush up on psychology a little bit more.

Anyway, if this is real, then it's really weird. I don't know how I got here and the contacts in my phone aren't working. I already tried to call my best friend/boss and the number just doesn't work, so I thought it might be my phone, but it works for everything else, so it wouldn't make any sense to blame my phone on the issue. This means that something else is going on. The point is that I need help? Please? I probably should have said that from the beginning, actually. Sometimes I don't think of those things right away, it's not that I'm absentminded, it's just that my mind moves so fast that sometimes it's long gone before I even type or open my mouth. Normally I would look at the phone myself and fiddle with it, or even go directly to the store, but I'm not from here. I'm from California, actually. Southern California, so I'm not really sure where anything is. That leads back to the help thing. I definitely need it. And I should really shut up now.

Oh, and I'm Katie Andrews. Hi! Help, please?