HMS Surprise Network

Oh my god, oh my god!

Snow!!


Totally building a snowman before scoping out the creepiness. Who's with me!?

To all passengers of the HMS Surprise,

Hi there, ship's engineer Gregory Knox speaking! So uh....how's it going?

We hope you're enjoying the modifications to Suri and that she's been treating you all well. We simply regret to inform you that due to a coolant leak in the personnel-only area, we're going to have to stopover again in another reality beginning approximately Dec 15th for all of you, so...your hotel bills have all been paid and we aim to make this holiday as comfortable for you all as possible!

Please leave your Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza, Festivus, or Ramadan lists with us and we'll take care of all the shopping when we return with Suri on Dec 25th....ish.

Any questions?

So, according to the calendar, Christmas seems to be coming up in a few weeks. Does anyone want to help me decorate? We could put up garland in the cafeteria, or something.

( Oh look at the pretty dress I bought! )

Oh! 1453! Great year! Well, not for the Byzantines, or the French or English... but in terms of history, you humans should really be happy with this year. Fall of the Byzantine Empire leads to the Age of Discovery, which of course leads to the world we all know today. Not to mention the beginnings of the Renaissance, including a year after the birth of Leonardo DaVinci.

And the very early beginnings of the Ottoman Empire in what would become Turkey. Mehmet II, Sultan, bit of an angry sort. Played dice with him, may have also invented Draughts a century early. Well... the Draughts where you jump each other.

And Florence! Oh, that's even more brilliant. Might have to take a look around, though Florence really hasn't become what it eventually will yet. Bit sad there. And far too few baths... very smelly time. Smell of history!

I have been instructed to make myself "more comfortable" for our present passengers. Therefore, I will be landing on the date of 91512.93. For those of you lacking in your understanding, this is tomorrow morning at what is approximately 6 A.M.

You may enjoy your swimming pool, McDonald's, and shop of sexual persuasion in a few days. Please do not interrupt the remodeling process.

I have also been instructed to answer any questions.

Okay - what happened down in Zanarkand was bad. And if you need to talk about it with someone, you should. But it could happen again, either when we land or if something happens up here. Our doctors are the best you could ask for in this situation. We'll take care of you and make sure that you get what you need. It's just that sometimes, bad things happen and they aren't always giant whales in the sky.

So I'm offering - anyone who wants to learn basic first aid and triage methods, we can teach you. This won't make you doctors or nurses. We can't certify you. But I think that right now, learning is good. So if you wanna learn, let me know.

So I discovered something pretty cool today. Blitz ball. I was wandering around down on the planet and found the stadium. It's like water polo on crack. I'm probably going to go again tomorrow if anyone wants to come with me.

I can honestly say I've never explored a planet other than Earth before. This ought to be an experience.

... And I feel like I should tell everyone to be careful, although it's probably not my place to do that.

[MOM]

Feel like going for an interplanetary patrol with me?

So. . .I think that whatever was causing the anomalies or whatever we're calling them has gone away. Because all of Frank's little homies have gone away.

Except, he's still here. When I asked him if he didn't want to go back with them, he said that he thought staying on the ship would make a great adventure and that he would be one less son fighting for position when his dad passed away.

He also said to tell you that if you want to pet him, you just have to ask. He said he won't bite unless provoked.

You know when Arthur Dent is trying to reason out that the Earth is gone and it's too large a prospect to consider, so he tries to start smaller and thinks that there are no more McDonald's?

I just had that moment, except I tried thinking that instead of my reality is gone that my hospital is gone.

I need tequila. And a tissue.

Nobody panic. But there's a currently a herd of. . .whatever the fuck these things are running around in the commisary.

[Private to Cas]

The one in the room is being called Frank for now. Better name to be thought of later.