BtVS: Alternate Lives

Who: Buffy and Karissa, and an appearance by Chloe
Where: The Sugar Shack
When: Feb. 23, Afternoon

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Who: Ash
Where:His home
When: Thursday, Feb. 25. (after Ash's trip to Caritas)


"You're my reason for living..."
"You're the reason I wake up every morning..."
"You're the thing that keeps me breathing..."

Every single proclamation of devotion Ash could replay in his head, that he had ever said to Lucy... each rang true in the exact same way: each one basically said that without her? He had no reason to live. No will to go on. And then it hit him: the anger he'd been channelling since destroying the vampire that killed Lucy... it wasn't anger at the world. It was anger at HIMSELF. For not being able to protect her. For not being able to hold on to the most important thing in his life.

When that truly occurred to him... he broke.

The young warlock left the spell up that blocked everyone from even trying to enter his home. If he... did anything about this, took the one solution to his problem that still seemed viable... nobody was going to bother him. Nobody was going to deter him. Once upon a time, Ashton Kowalski had tried to destroy the world. End every life upon it.

Now?

He was just about ready to end ONE.

He'd more or less given his musical suicide note at Caritas, whether that was his intent or not. He wasn't going to make a big show of this: there would be no angst-ridden speeches, no 'emo-ing out in the rain' as Buffy put it once. This was merely onne man trying his best to not take the easy way out... but not seeing much else in the way of options. He hurt. Badly. His heart was cracked in two, with little hope of ever healing properly.

Which led him to this moment. Which he feared would be the first of many. He wanted death. Wanted it more than anything. But as he held the knife in his hand, trembling hand holding it against the underside of his own wrist... he found he didn't have the courage to do it. He didn't want to care. About his sister. About Meredith. About Buffy. About Gwen. Hell... even about Mackenzie.  The people that he knew for one reason or another cared about him. He didn't WANT to put them through what he was going through right now.

Yet... as his own pain deepend, festered, got worse each day... he found himself just wanting his own pain to end. Regardless of the pain it caused others. 

He watched while so many others died, and came back. India. Iris. Why not his Lucy? Why was SHE gone with such... finality? People said God was so merciful, but... seeing this? Ash had one thought: "fuck God".

No... he couldn't do it right now. But he would. He would keep trying... until he finally mustered up the courage to end it, once and for all. Because he couldn't do it. Live without her. Not anymore.

Who: Rachelle & Baily
Where: Avarice
When: Wednesday night, 2/24

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Who: Lorne and Ash
Where: Caritas
When: Thursday Night, 2/25

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WHO: Lissa and Ash Marrok
WHEN: Monday Feb 22
WHERE: High School
( Creeper much? )