| |
[Aug. 20th, 2008|07:24 pm] |
I need a new pet.
My old one did not come with me. |
|
|
| |
[Aug. 5th, 2008|02:10 pm] |
People going around killing other people seriously turns me on, it's lovely.
Those of you who think you're on 'my side' of things should take notes. They're true geniuses. Some of you? Not so much. Maybe I should do some replacing.
So who wants to play with me? I'm feeling very... anxious. |
|
|
| |
[Aug. 2nd, 2008|03:35 pm] |
Just thought I'd share with you all something that brightened my day!
Don't you just love the news?
I think it's better than a stand-up comedian. This Li guy. What a cut-up!
HA HA. |
|
|
| |
[Jul. 31st, 2008|02:39 pm] |
There, no more dead people. And Europe is back, mostly. What needs to be back. People have been moved and taken care of.
Thank God, not me. |
|
|
| |
[Jul. 31st, 2008|01:42 am] |
It's been a very long time since I've done something that's made me feel that good.
And no, it's not coming back. Don't even ask.
( God ) |
|
|
| |
[Jul. 23rd, 2008|10:45 pm] |
I am beginning to think that all of you need to be reminded about who is in charge here. |
|
|
| |
[Jul. 20th, 2008|02:54 pm] |
Bored.
What's a wo- lady have to do to get a little fun, around here?
( Angel )
( My Lord ) |
|
|
| |
[Jul. 12th, 2008|11:45 pm] |
Is everyone here married or dating someone?
SERIOUSLY. WHAT THE HELL.
I've been here for two fucking weeks and haven't gotten laid. This is brutal, in the shitty way. |
|
|
| |
[Apr. 17th, 2008|05:38 pm] |
This is new.
First, I'm purged from the garden for not bending to that idiot's every whim. Then three angels come after me for being a bad, bad girl. I thought things were settled. Nod was decent. It wasn't Eden, but then I wasn't forced to listen to complaining all the time. Or boring sermons from the Almighty. That shit gets tired. I was okay in Nod. I had some fun there. Then I wake up here. Figures.
What is this place? Another weak attempt at punishment? Bring it on, God. I can take it. I'm still not not apologizing or going back to that place. |
|
|
| |
[Mar. 20th, 2008|08:53 pm] |
God, I didn't do anything this time. I swear. |
|
|
| |
[Mar. 13th, 2008|07:44 pm] |
What a wonderful little world. I am liking this place more and more. |
|
|
| |
[Mar. 5th, 2008|07:21 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | alexandra cabot, aramis, gail, greg house, jack dent, nonobits switcheroo, orlinda, raymond wood, satan, shawn spencer, tesla spencer | ] |
Third day observations:
-Bras hurt, when worn all day. It's more fun to go without.
-Skirts are breezy, especially when worn outdoors with smooth legs. Even if I knew this one, it's now socially acceptable to admit.
-Chocolate good.
-Free drinks at bars are even better.
Also, for the record: multiples? Still not old-hat. Definately still not old hat. Now I know why women take long showers. |
|
|
| |
[Mar. 3rd, 2008|12:31 am] |
So. 'Looks like it's been a couple of weeks, now, hasn't it?
I wish this shit surprised me more.
At least now when people call me a 'bitch from Hell', they can mean it. I do have to say, I have a newfound appreciation for Satan though. Nice rack. |
|
|
| |
[Feb. 29th, 2008|10:30 am] |
I fear this place has gone to the dogs.
I'm back, did anyone miss me?
I had.. things .. to take care of. |
|
|
| |
[Feb. 12th, 2008|01:02 am] |
RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAH!
DID YOU HEAR THAT GROWL?! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE GROWLASAURIAN ACCENT?! THEY CALL MY LEFT NUT SIMBA AND MY RIGHT NUT MUFASA CUS I'M THE LION KING OF FUCKIN'!
DON'T CORRECT ME! YOU DON'T KNOW MY FATHER. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME! WHICH IS WHY I'M BOUT TO TELL YOU!
I'M THE JUGGERNAUT BITCH! THAT'S RIGHT, I'M BACK AGAIN FOR THE LAST TIME OF THE FIRST TIMES! YOU CAN'T STOP ME! I'M HERE AND I'M FEARLESS! READY TO KICK SHIT DOWN THROATS AND TAKE A PISS IN YOUR MOM'S MOAT! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?! DO YOU COMPREHENDO MY SPEAKO?!
MAN, YOU NEED TO RECOGNIZE! DON'T YOU SEE THE SHIT I'M WEARIN'? THIS IS CUSTOM MADE OUT OF LOW CHOLESTEROL SPIDER MONKEY BABIES FROM THE PLANET SWALLOW DEEZ. THAT'S WHY MY SUIT SO TIGHT! LIKE A JUNIOR PROM FULL OF FRESHMENS!
SO DON'T THINK YOU OFF THE HOOK, JUST CUZ YOU KNOW THE LINGO DON'T MEAN YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN THOUGH!
BUT YOU DO KNOW ONE THING!
YOU DO KNOW THAT THE PROOF IS IN MY PUDDIN'!
AND THAT I'M THE JUGERNAUT BIIIIIIIIIIIITCH! |
|
|
| |
[Jan. 23rd, 2008|05:50 pm] |
Erm, yes.
That whole song. . thing, it was um, you know, a fake.
Anyhow, New Yorkers, don't fret. I am leaving on a small trip soon. |
|
|
| |
[Jan. 21st, 2008|02:28 am] |
Well at least this time I wasn't ... nice. And married. To God.
All in all it was rather nice. I was highly amused at all of you. Pity I didn't get the naked disease, though well it's not like I have to work very hard for that. |
|
|
| |
[Jan. 17th, 2008|02:14 pm] |
You'd think that with all of this going on, it'd be a good time to try and take over.
Good thing I'm feeling lazy today.
I almost have pity for those people who are running around naked outside while it's snowing. Almost. |
|
|
| |
[Jan. 17th, 2008|10:01 am] |
Well shit. How many times does a girl have to go through puberty for fuck's sake? I'm a fucking deity. This is ridiculous.
Hey guys check it out! Now for the low low price of your eternal soul, you too can schtup a 14 year old! But wait, there's more! If pedophilia just isn't doing it for you anymore, take a gander at this! She's God too! How about that for ironic? |
|
|
| |
[Jan. 13th, 2008|11:20 pm] |
To whom it concerns:
Kindly stop trying to sell me your soul.
I don't want your soul. And being summoned through Dark Magics is most annoying. "Come, Lord Lucifer," et cetera, et cetera. The being you're attempting to summon is named Satan. Satan. And don't summon her, either. There's a reason it's called "a deal with the devil." It invariably comes back to bite you in the ass.
Moreover, do you have any idea how rude it is to just summon a divine being? When you're talking to God, you pray. When you're talking to Jesus, you pray. When you're talking to an angel, you summon? I am not your servant. I'm not asking for prayer. I don't want prayer. A phone call would suffice. I'm listed.
Furthermore, Uwe Boll, I don't care how much evil you've done in my name, I will not help you get an Oscar. |
|
|
| |
[Jan. 10th, 2008|09:25 pm] |
OH IT'S THE JUGGERNAUT BITCH! THAT'S RIGHT I HAVE RETURNED LIKE THE JEDI! RETURNED LIKE THE KING! I'M A BIG, MEAN, BITCH FUCKIN' MACHINE!
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYIN'?! DON'T YOU HEAR ME?! DON'T YOU SEE ME MOVIN' WHEN I DROP MY BALLS ON DICK CLARK'S FACE AND TELL HIM TO DO AN AMERICAN BANDSTAND ON MY NUTS?!
YOU BETTA' REMEMBER WHO I AM! REMEMBER THE TIME! REMEMBER THE TITANS! REMEMBER THE JUGGERNAUT BITCH!
BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL THEY USED TO CALL ME RICE KRISPIES CUZ I WOULD SNAP, CRACKLE AND POP YO' DUMBASS! DON'T YOU TRY TO STEP TO ME! FUCK AROUND AND GET CRUSHED BY THESE BIG JUGGERNUTS! I'M THE MOTHERFUCKIN' BADDEST THING THIS WORLD HAS EVER SEEN!
AND THAT'S THE WAY LOVE GOES! I'M 'BOUT TO GO NOW! I GOTTA' MEET JANET JACKSON BEHIND THE SUPER BOWL SO I CAN PUT SOME RHYTHM IN HER NATION!
BUT BEFORE I GO, LET ME TELL YOU BITCHES ONE LAST TIME!
WHO AM I?!
WHO THE FUCK AM I?!
I'M THE GODDAMN JUGGERNAUT BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH! |
|
|