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[Aug. 10th, 2010|08:32 am] |
Satan, it is done. Would you rather a boy or a girl? |
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[Jul. 17th, 2010|02:26 pm] |
Satan? Since you are bound to my mother, would you like to sup with me this evening?
I fear I'm a bit lonely. Jenny isn't here. I'm not used to not having a little sunbeam to light up my darkness. |
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[Jul. 6th, 2010|02:12 pm] |
Satan, love?
If God has kids, why don't you? |
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[Jun. 9th, 2010|07:58 pm] |
Topside? Again? Well, it's nice to have working friggin' legs again. And hey, I'm a guy.
... and a redhead. Ha ha, Satan, real funny. Boss? Is it okay for me to be up here like this? The hell's going on, anyway? |
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[Jun. 6th, 2010|07:22 pm] |
Hey, there's a little party at my mansion tonight. Just saw that the date is June 6th now. It's my birthday. Actually, it was at six o'clock this morning but.. you know. It's basically today for all day long. All my family, friends, social acquaintances, friends/family of my friends too, they are all welcome to stop by for cake and stuff. The indoor pool is open as well if anyone wished to use it too. |
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[May. 24th, 2010|01:01 pm] |
Satan, I'm bored. |
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[May. 9th, 2010|07:18 pm] |
( Satan ) |
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[Apr. 21st, 2010|04:52 pm] |
I'm bored.
I think I'll give the people on the Small World ride colon cancer. |
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[Feb. 25th, 2010|11:44 pm] |
OH IT'S THE JUGGERNAUT BITCH!
THAT'S RIGHT I'M BACK! I'M SO BACK I'M THE ASS OF A CHINESE DONKEY IN THE MIDDLE OF A PORN STUDIO TRAPPED UNDER RON JEREMY'S LEFT NUTSACK!
YOU CAN'T STOP ME!
HERE I COME!
NEVER BEFORE SEEN! NEVER BEFORE HEARD! BUT ALWAYS THE SHIT LIKE A BAG OF RAT TURDS!
AIN'T NOBODY EVER GONNA' STOP THE GODDAMN JUGGERNAUT!
RELAX BITCHES!
JUGG'S GOT YA'... |
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[Feb. 18th, 2010|02:16 pm] |
WHERE. IS. MY. CAT. |
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[Feb. 16th, 2010|02:48 am] |
They really should have another holiday on March 14th where all the Valentine's Day hookups go and get their STD tests together.
But they probably won't. I guess I could leave letters, but that would be nice, and I don't do that.
Edit; ( Satan. ) |
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[Feb. 7th, 2010|11:50 pm] |
Perfect. I was reading, and then there was a tornado in the library, and now I'm at fucking Disneyland. |
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[Feb. 4th, 2010|09:44 pm] |
Mephistopheles?
Satan?
I need one of you to help me. |
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[Jan. 24th, 2010|02:39 am] |
I do not share faces. So here's a new one.
I'm back for now, but if you come to me with your trivialness, or some stupid comment, I will skin you alive and bury you where no one will ever find you. That especially goes for you, Lucy. |
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[Jan. 23rd, 2010|08:03 pm] |
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EDIT: Oh my Me,...I'm engaged!!! To the sexiest man fucking EVAR. And I have some favors to ask...
LUCY! Would you pleeeeeeeeeeease cater my reception?
Mary! You know I've asked you already to be my bridesmaid, but would you also make your fantastic oatmeal cookies for my favor boxes?
SADAKO! It would be the greatest of honors if you would consider being my bridesmaid as well?
And last but certainly not least at all, Satan...all our lives, we've been involved with each other in one way or another. I know your life isn't what you wish it right now but I am asking you a personal favor, one I hope you won't deny.
Please be my maid of honor.
EDIT TAKE 2:
Okay, so LeifErik and I are getting hitched on February 14th of this year. All our friends and family and ex-lovers are invited! Because a wedding is never any fun unless there's drama! And besides, if we excluded ex-lovers...well, there wouldn't be anybody at the wedding. |
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[Nov. 17th, 2009|07:34 pm] |
Satan? |
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[Nov. 13th, 2009|05:03 pm] |
I realize that I'm bad enough that no one ever wants to stay around me.
I've accepted that.
I'm going down into Hell for a while. Doubt I'll be back. |
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[Nov. 12th, 2009|11:59 pm] |
Uh, Satan? |
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[Oct. 31st, 2009|06:19 pm] |
Tonight is going to be fun.
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[Oct. 28th, 2009|11:40 pm] |
Hey, Satan. What're we doing on Saturday? |
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[Oct. 14th, 2009|10:16 pm] |
This place smells like life.
Disgusting. |
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[Jul. 22nd, 2009|06:17 pm] |
I'm going to throw a party.
If you think you can handle it, then you're more than welcome to join me. I should assure you it's not for the faint of heart.
Do let me know if you think you can though, I'm curious who actually has balls in this place. |
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[Jul. 22nd, 2009|02:54 pm] |
Hey Natans, I hear you got yourselfs a lead guitar lady! HOPES YOU GOTS A WHOLE LOTTA TAMPONS CAUSE DEY BLEEDS FOUR DAYS A MONTH |
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[Jul. 17th, 2009|11:53 pm] |
I feel like going back to my old roots so to speak.
It's been entirely too quiet lately. You know how much I hate that. |
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[Mar. 27th, 2009|06:53 pm] |
COULD SOMEONE PLEASE GET ALL OF THESE GOATS OUT OF MY ROOM. |
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| [posted by phone] |
[Mar. 23rd, 2009|07:54 pm] |
They got me. Umm.. help. Using guard's phone. Not much time, can only control this one before another one notices and makes it worse. I'm in London... I think. Just look for broken windows. And maybe news reports of people that jumped out of them, or maybe a couple unexplained traffic accidents.
I might not get a chance to answer, but in case I can't, I'm going to get to the point. Please find a way to get me away from here, and if you feel like it, take some of them out along the way. I don't ask for help often. Actually, it never happens. They know they can't kill me.. but this feels so much worse. I swear, these fanatical bastards are gonna pay for this somehow. |
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[Feb. 27th, 2009|02:57 pm] |
Well, now this is an unexpected development. I've never been in a tornado before. At least, that's what I think it was. Even so, coming from Chicago to London is a bit of a stretch. Any idea how to get back? I sort of need to check on my company for a little surprise visit. Keeps them on their toes.
Ohh.. sorry, I nearly forgot my manners. Perhaps this predicament affected me more than I thought. My name is Damien Thorn, Yale student and CEO of Thorn Industries. This sort of thing doesn't happen very often. Usually not at all. I wonder if anyone else has ever been in the same predicament.. |
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[Jan. 21st, 2009|04:11 am] |
I suggest the procreating stops before I make it stop permanently.
Those of you know who I'm talking to. |
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[Jan. 19th, 2009|07:39 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | aphrodite, bela talbot, david, god, lorna summers, lucifer, mason, raven, rebecca house, satan, tegan crowley young, teja wartooth, timey wimey plot | ] |
Dude, this blows. Why is it every time I do this young girl shit, I end up on the damn rag?
THE LORD SHOULD NOT HAVE A PERIOD, DAMN IT.
I really ought to fix that shit for you ladies out there. You guys should not have to suffer. |
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[Jan. 12th, 2009|09:38 am] |
Hey, Satan.
Wanna go do something? We could uhhhh. Give people in New Zeland ebola or something. |
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[Dec. 21st, 2008|12:32 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | ace, adikia, ares, colin creevey, crush, doctor steel, gabriella montez, henry townshend, kakia, london tipton, luna lovegood, mark cohen, meat, meg giry, navi, rose tyler, santa claus, satan, stormer, the ninth doctor | ] |
HO HO HO!!!
Everybody being good these last four nights before the flight?
There have been revisions to our policy regarding bad little boys and girls. We've been hassled into "going green" by our local activist elves, so instead of giving coal, we will be giving out soy sprouts. Something about leaving a minimal carbon footprint, whatever that means.
We're working overtime these next few days, to make sure each and every one of you gets exactly what you want this Christmas, or Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, or even Ramadan and Festivus! We're branching out, up here at the North Pole! Enterprising! Getting everybody in on the holiday spirit! Whatever holiday suits you!
Anyone who hasn't sent out their letters to me can contact me personally, right here! |
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[Dec. 19th, 2008|02:25 am] |
My turn:
Well I tell you what,
Maybe we'll have ourselves a little Christmas, right here.
C'mon everyone, gather `round!
String up the lights and light up the tree
We're going to make some revelry
Spirits are high, so I can tell
It's Christmas time in hell!
Demons are nicer as you pass them by
There's lots of demon toys to buy
The snow is falling and all is well
It's Christmas time in hell!
There goes Jeffery Dahmer,
With a festive Christmas ham
After he has sex with it,
He'll eat up all he can.
And there goes John F. Kennedy
Caroling with his son
Reunited for the holidays
God bless us, everyone!
Everybody has a happy glow
Let's dance in blood and pretend its snow
Even Mao Tse-Tung is under the spell
It's Christmas time in hell!
Adolf, here's a present for you.
Hitler: Oh? O Tannenbaum!
Satan: Yes, O Tannenbaum!
God cast me down from Heaven's door
To rule in hell for evermore
But now I'm kinda glad that I fell
'Cause It's Christmas time in hell!
Here's a rack to hang the stockings on
We still have to shop for Genghis Kahn!
Michael Landon's hair looks swell!
It's Christmas time in hell!
There's Princess Diana
Holding burning mistletoe
Over poor Gene Siskel's head
Just watch his weenie grow!
For one day we all stop burning
And the flames are not so thick
All the screaming and the torture stops
As we wait for old Saint Nick!
So string up the lights and light up the tree
We're damned for all eternity
But for just one day all is well
It's Christmas time in hell!
We've got to toast together, and make it quick!
We've gotta make room for Andy Dick.
Wake his mother and ring the bell
It's Christmas time...
(Christmas time... Christmas time... Christmas time...)
Christmas time...
(Christmas time... Christmas time... Christmas time...)
It's Christmas time in hell!
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[Dec. 8th, 2008|02:12 am] |
( Satan. ) |
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[Dec. 7th, 2008|11:16 pm] |
So, I'm back. Awesome, right? 'Least that means no more politics.
Oh, wait. Thank you, Ma. The subtlty of your points knows no bounds.
What'd I miss? |
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[Nov. 27th, 2008|05:09 pm] |
It seems that I have returned. For what reason, I'm not sure. In a different body as well. Just in time for Thanksgiving.
I'm a different woman, and I don't take things lightly. That is your final and only warning. |
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[Nov. 7th, 2008|11:44 pm] |
More's the pity, the other bodies are a lost cause. 'Worse than a bloody fast food drive-thru with getting orders correctly (you're welcome for that, by the by), in the Creation department. But it's really not Our strong suit. And I think it rather regal, don't you?
With all the respect that's due, Lord Satan- go fuck yourself. I've been... repurposed, if you will. I didn't imagine you'd care- Not like I've heard from you in months.
Also, Alexia- if this was you? I owe you one. Something. A bloody large something. Interesting choice of keychain, but at this point, I could care less.
I'm assuming that means I have orders? Life is, for once, not entirely without its perks. |
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[Nov. 5th, 2008|10:19 pm] |
I cut my hair.
Does everyone like it?
I've rather enjoyed this Halloween. Very fun. |
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[Sep. 27th, 2008|12:35 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | adam, cassidy turner, eve, god, julien boudreaux, kon-el, lilith, lucifer, megatron, mia jesbar, sam winchester, satan, sonya blade, stephen colbert, the functionary | ] |
Ahh, that's better. A month of skeeball and porn really gives a deity a fresh look at things, you know?
So who missed me? And who can I smite? I had some reeeeeally long naps for awhile there. |
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[Sep. 8th, 2008|08:43 pm] |
My saintly other half has decidedly disappeared.
Does this mean I can take over now?
I feel like I should change my appearance to commemorate the occasion. Or should I stay like this?
Opinions? Comments? |
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[Aug. 25th, 2008|05:42 pm] |
My kingdom for methamphetamines that will actually keep me awake. This is intolerable. |
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