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[Mar. 10th, 2008|11:01 pm] |
So glad that's over. |
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[Mar. 10th, 2008|04:17 pm] |
( God ) |
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| ENDING TO GENDER SWITCH PLOT!!! IMPORTANT!! |
[Mar. 10th, 2008|09:57 am] |
In conjunction with the press conference I'm about to go live with, I Cole Turner, as head attorney for PepsiCo, am issuing this post to address some of the concerns the world at large is having, as well as confirm and/or deny some of the rumors and speculation that's been spreading about.
The problems you have been encountering in regards to suddenly and without warning changing into the opposite gender is in fact due to tainted beverages produced by PepsiCo worldwide. Over the course of a three day period, the notorious mad scientist Niles P. Camden managed to infiltrate several of the bottling plants in several different countries and corrupted the water supply to the machines that produce all the different beverages with a serum that caused genders to switch within five minutes of consuming it. The effects only lasted most people 24 hours, but continued consumption of the tainted beverage caused longer experiences.
There is no reason to be alarmed. This serum is not dangerous to be consumed, and there are no long lasting effects of it. All beverages worldwide as of now are being recalled, and as long as you don't continue to drink the tainted supply, you will not turn back into the opposite sex. You won't, as has been suggested, stay the wrong gender, no matter how much you drink. Once you stop, you turn back after 24 hours. It doesn't, as has been rumored, affect pregnant women, for some reason. I'm not a scientist, so I can't speculate as to why it doesn't work, but I suspect that it's due to the different hormones women encounter in pregnancy.
Pepsi is issuing a worldwide apology for any embarrassment or confusion the affected persons may have suffered. As a token of their apology, they are offering $10,000 to anyone affected by this crime. Also, please return all products to the stores you bought them from and you will be reimbursed. There is just a small amount of paperwork we're asking you to fill out and sign.
PepsiCo hopes that you will not let this tragedy keep you from enjoying their products in the future. They have developed new security measures that are being put in place as we speak to keep anything like this from ever happening again. Pepsi has been and continues to hopefully be the top rated cola. |
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[Mar. 10th, 2008|02:00 am] |
I gotta say, I'm enjoyin' this new weirdness. For once it ain't hitting me, and crime's down. Everyone else's inside playing with their new no no bits instead of outside causing trouble.
And those that do go out and cause trouble all seem to think I'd have a problem hitting a girl.
That's sexism, my friends. And sexism is wrong. |
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[Mar. 10th, 2008|01:51 am] |
OH COME ON! |
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[Mar. 10th, 2008|01:10 am] |
!!
IT'S BACK! |
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[Mar. 9th, 2008|09:00 pm] |
Jamie, it was funny at first. I thought your gay dupe was one who would never be hitting on me.
But he crossed the line. You might want to get downstairs and absorb him before you end up with more dupes than you can count. You already have one extra.
I'm really trying to keep a sense of humor about this. See? Not angry. Just hitting my head against the wall over and over. |
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[Mar. 9th, 2008|09:11 pm] |
Never thought I'd say this, but I think I'm getting used to this girl thing. |
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[Mar. 9th, 2008|06:37 pm] |
DALEK IS CONFUSED. DALEK WAS NOT FEMALE THIS MORNING. DALEK SHOULD NOT BE FEMALE NOW. DALEK IS VERY CONFUSED, INDEED. |
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[Mar. 9th, 2008|04:23 pm] |
About damn time!
And Sammy: You're a genius, if I'm not here when you get back from the store, I'll hug you later.
Until then, I'm going to celebrate, who wants to come with me? |
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[Mar. 9th, 2008|04:37 pm] |
Dude.
What.
The.
Hell.
That was effin' brutal.
Er... Guys? Jokes over now. Come on out. |
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[Mar. 9th, 2008|03:30 pm] |
Almost afraid to eat or drink anything with all the crazy shit that's happening. |
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[Mar. 9th, 2008|12:58 pm] |
Told ya so Gus. |
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[Mar. 9th, 2008|11:23 am] |
It's been fun, and I've appreciated the free drinks, but I'm ready to get off of this ride now. You'd be surprised at how not fun it is having a body you're not used to. I keep whamming my tits into things. |
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[Mar. 8th, 2008|08:52 pm] |
Mother? Uncle Luke? Anakin?
Is everyone alright?
( Jaina... ) |
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[Mar. 8th, 2008|08:31 pm] |
Dean?
You alright? You've been kind of, uh, quiet lately and I'm hoping its not because you're doing what I think you're doing, which is what you told me you'd do if you ever suddenly sprouted your own boobs and such.
Right. So. Uh. Yeah. |
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[Mar. 8th, 2008|05:01 pm] |
How long do I have to go through this torture? |
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[Mar. 8th, 2008|06:41 pm] |
Okay, this can really be over any time now. Really. |
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[Mar. 8th, 2008|05:16 pm] |
Alas, it seems to have worn off.
Ah well. I'm sure this will inspire a lot of ideas for the Anonymous Author, at least. |
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[Mar. 8th, 2008|03:55 pm] |
Ach.
( Private ) |
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[Mar. 8th, 2008|04:18 pm] |
Interesting. |
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[Mar. 8th, 2008|03:35 pm] |
[OOC: NSFW Warning. This will probably be the only clothed-girl!Jack icon I use.]
So. Next question:
How many licks does it really take to get to the center? Raven, honey, want to play? |
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[Mar. 8th, 2008|12:12 pm] |
Thank you for your hospitality, Marrow and Aramis. I enjoyed hanging out with you both.
However, I'm very glad to be back in my own body.
Very, very glad.
Whoever caused that is going to suffer. |
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[Mar. 8th, 2008|03:12 pm] |
Why is this not over yet? |
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[Mar. 8th, 2008|02:15 pm] |
Um. I. Um.
Think I'm going to stay in my room. And lock the door. And not come out. |
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[Mar. 8th, 2008|02:05 pm] |
I'm probably enjoying this much more than I should. |
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[Mar. 8th, 2008|10:01 am] |
Umm...
Jamie, could I borrow some clothes? Mine don't fit... anymore.
Um. Lara. We'll have to reschedule. |
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[Mar. 8th, 2008|01:14 am] |
...
My effin' boyfriend bought me a whole new wardrobe fer the change but er...
I mean, as much as I appreciate the sentiment? Er...
It's all slut clothes. Thanks a heap, Tony. Now I feel cheap. >:(
I'm gunna go out and sulk into a bottle of schnapps. |
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[Mar. 8th, 2008|01:47 am] |
Ladies, rejoice!
Lesbian ladies, mourn.
The Mean Green Love Machine is Y-chromosome enabled once more.
Dig this manly mane. Ladies love a dude with a mane. |
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[Mar. 7th, 2008|11:08 pm] |
Alright, H. The bellboy put the bags in the car, can we go now? You promised me...
This isn't Kansas.
Where's the hotel? And the bellboy?
And Humbert? |
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[Mar. 8th, 2008|12:08 am] |
( Aramis ) |
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[Mar. 7th, 2008|08:21 pm] |
This really sucks. |
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[Mar. 7th, 2008|03:47 pm] |
Oh no... not again!
I thought this was over!
Oh for the ... bah! |
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[Mar. 7th, 2008|04:45 pm] |
...well damn. |
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[Mar. 7th, 2008|04:45 pm] |
Man, I want to be a boy again.
People keep making lewd remarks at Captain Marvel.
It's weird.
And yes, it's still Captain Marvel. Giving me a vagina has not given me a demotion. |
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[Mar. 7th, 2008|01:21 pm] |
I did not need this. At all.
If anyone needs me, I'm going to be drunk. Very drunk.
Why do I look like him of all people? We don't even look alike! |
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[Mar. 7th, 2008|11:41 am] |
Why does everyone else get to turn back and not me? |
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