Aman Role-play Community

*continues to embrace motherhood in her own unique style*

*sits on the couch, holding her son and regaling him with a classic children's story... with a few of her own modifications to it*

... what the wolf WASN'T counting on was that the Third Little Pig knew his stuff when it came to fortifications. He built HIS home out of bricks and mortar, and then made sure there were tiny slitted windows so they could shoot arrows at people without people being able to shoot at them or come crashing in through the windows. And he also made sure that you could stick a couple of cauldrons of boiling oil up on the roof to pour on anyone you didn't want standing on the doorstep. So. No sooner had the wolf began with the whole 'Little Pig' crud when the Third Little Pig shouted a command up to the other little pigs who were... You guessed it! Right behind the cauldrons of boiling oil! They tipped them right over and fried the wolf alive! Then when the wolf carcass had cooled they hacked his head off and mounted it over the front door as a warning to other wolves and unwanted callers like double glazing salesmen. And Varda's Witnesses since they never shut up and have stupid ideas about drinking. *snort*

The. End.

:D

*is also quietly delighted with herself over the fact she's managed curb her language around her kid*

*returns home, slightly frayed from nights of wrecked sleeping patterns*

*and stuck with a screaming infant who won't settle down and fall asleep like he should as soon as she enters the door*

*attempts a variety of baby-soothing tactics like rocking to no avail*

*sighs and decides to see if cold air helps and bundles up her son and sticks him in Emeldir's patented Pram o' Death for a walk*

*goes through the hideous, hideous process of labour with little ceremony at Lórien mostly because this would be about the umpteenth birthing post her mun's done*

*and at the end of it winds up with a small, screaming infant son*

*and is utterly besotted*

*spends the next few days unwinding in Lórien and fussing over her boy*