Gooseberry High

i feel strongly like i could make a real starter career out of this whole dying thing.

like - think about it. just HOW many no-maj television shows have at least one corpse per episode? i mean, there's like twenty-seven 'law & order's ALONE. and then all the friggin 'CSI's. there's about seventeen of those things. get in some light exercise as a mobile corpse over on 'walking dead' before i take a steak knife to the eye-socket or something. i could do, like, the full murder-show circut. maybe throw in some films. put away a nice nest-egg for college on being brutally and fictionally murdered on the regular.

real solid resume builder right there. listed under other skills: professional corpse.

Who: Sebastien Lacroix and Garrett Ogletree
When: Wednesday, March 1 in the evening (during the Great Journal Blackout)
Where: Prefecting around campus.
What: Bash and Garrett are on rounds and are just silly.
Warnings: None there are like two curse words because they are just dumb sophomores

( Why anyone let them be prefects is a mystery. )

okay, probably gonna seem super weird all written out like this, but if anybody needs their hair done up all fancy and shit for the dance tomorrow? i can totally help. my sisters make me do it for them all the time. so like, i can do all those crazy braid things. ESPECIALLY the crazy braid things.

and, um - it's really kind of relaxing? so i don't mind doing it at all.

so, yeah.

an available thing. in a totally not-weird way?

[Warded to Gabi]

hey, so i was wondering if you'd mind if i swung around and walked you to the dance? i mean, you don't got to GO with me or nothing. if you don't want. i just thought you might like an escort.

and you KNOW hanging out with you's pretty much my favorite thing to do.

[Gabi]

hey, uh - do you have rounds tonight?

cause, y'know, i could totally walk with you. if you do.

or you could walk with me? if i have rounds.

do i have rounds?

also do you ever think about the fact that this place is essentially a cellular deadzone AND an anti-apparition zone, so that if we all were being hunted down and murdered we'd have no good way of escape. or even a REALLY good way to call authorities? like it's really fucking concerning. i mean, there are definitely safety measures. but STILL. and i want to call my dad. because i'm an infant.

i genuinely have no idea if i have rounds. i mean, i didn't THINK so, but now i think that i'm OVERthinking it and have totally confused myself. clearly i am a horrible prefect and should be sent to prefect jail.

i'm not even gonna lie right now, people - one time, there was a wasp in my mom's car and i was legit tempted to jump right the hell out of an actual moving vehicle. these things are like MAYBE the size of a wasp if it got together for a lengthy brunch with friends and then ate like three OTHER wasps for dessert and then went out behind the wasp gym and took some SERIOUS steroids. i do not want these bastards anywhere NEAR me.

this is the shit that nightmares are made of.

oh god.

the air. it's so fresh. so fresh and clean and unpolluted. even the SNOW is clean. who has CLEAN snow? my brief return to reality has reminded me that real snow is covered in dirt and angry car marks and dog piss. seriously, though - what EVEN IS this narnia-ass bullshit? this is not what actual life looks like, people.

oh, gooseberry. how i have missed your fresh, piney nonsense.

i just don't think that my lungs are prepared.

holy god, gooseberry TAKE ME BACK.

it has only been like 70 hours and i have already been forced to go to the nitehawk with my nieces and watch 'frozen' SEVEN TIMES. SEVEN. SO FAR. if you have not yet had the mis good mis FORTUNE. IF YOU HAVE NOT YET HAD THE i-don't-know-which-prefix-fits-best-here-FORTUNE - well, don't. really.

first time? totally okay. legit disney movie - plot holes. sure. whatever. they happen to the best of us. idina menzel has the voice of a very gifted angel who will inevitably win a shit ton of awards for this. we laughed. we cried. it was a wonderful experience for everyone involved.

SEVENTH time? the plot is more holes than plot. the movie is unraveling before my eyes. where was the foreshadowing? is hans just a really incapable villain? does he have an evil twin nobody bothered to tell us about - because, really, ain't nobody planning on shanking a bitch they smile at soppily WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING. is he just a method actor? why didn't they use the PERFECT AND TOTALLY AVAILABLE POINT for a dramatic and darker reprise to 'love is an open door' that was readily available?

HOW IS 'LET IT GO' A GOOD MESSAGE FOR ANYONE? yeah, sure, i totally have a job and responsibilities and shit but, y'know what dudes? screw that noise! people were mildly surprised that i went straight up 'carrie' on some bitches at my dinner party? SO SCREW THEM ALL. and now i'm gonna freeze ALL their asses and SING about it. also, for someone who had no idea how to use their super magic ice powers five seconds ago, you sure as shit got into some advanced interior design and fashion like REAL QUICK. your learning curve is INSANE. and trying to murder your siblings? yeah, sure, man. hella polite. you're a model citizen.

and where the everliving hell were blonde dude's parents? did he just wander off into the fucking woods with his miniature reindeer, never to be heard from again? did NO ONE look for him? what did he EAT IN MAGIC ICE LAND with only rock trolls to raise him? was he kidnapped by the weird, rock-trolls? did the trolls kill his parents? was he already an orphan? why is there NO INFORMATION ON THIS.

AND THE TROLLS. trolls are not jolly. they do not sing things. but, i mean, okay. no-mag suspension of belief glasses on BUT STILL. and, don't get me wrong here, trolls are definitely a part of scandinavian mythology as a whole? but EVEN THOSE trolls? would not want to marry you off to semi-attractive gingers. they'd either force you to become their child-bride and pet their hair at night or they'd straight up assault you.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND. also, i respect the fact that my sister has to go out, but i don't WANT to go see it again tomorrow.


wow, sarah. hurtful.