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actual disaster sebastien lacroix (suchaguppy) wrote in gooseberry,
@ 2016-12-21 19:50:00

Entry tags:

! journal, sebastien lacroix

holy god, gooseberry TAKE ME BACK.

it has only been like 70 hours and i have already been forced to go to the nitehawk with my nieces and watch 'frozen' SEVEN TIMES. SEVEN. SO FAR. if you have not yet had the ~~mis~~ ~~good~~ ~~mis~~ FORTUNE. IF YOU HAVE NOT YET HAD THE i-don't-know-which-prefix-fits-best-here-FORTUNE - well, don't. really.

first time? totally okay. legit disney movie - plot holes. sure. whatever. they happen to the best of us. idina menzel has the voice of a very gifted angel who will inevitably win a shit ton of awards for this. we laughed. we cried. it was a wonderful experience for everyone involved.

SEVENTH time? the plot is more holes than plot. the movie is unraveling before my eyes. where was the foreshadowing? is hans just a really incapable villain? does he have an evil twin nobody bothered to tell us about - because, really, ain't nobody planning on shanking a bitch they smile at soppily WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING. is he just a method actor? why didn't they use the PERFECT AND TOTALLY AVAILABLE POINT for a dramatic and darker reprise to 'love is an open door' that was readily available?

HOW IS 'LET IT GO' A GOOD MESSAGE FOR ANYONE? yeah, sure, i totally have a job and responsibilities and shit but, y'know what dudes? screw that noise! people were mildly surprised that i went straight up 'carrie' on some bitches at my dinner party? SO SCREW THEM ALL. and now i'm gonna freeze ALL their asses and SING about it. also, for someone who had no idea how to use their super magic ice powers five seconds ago, you sure as shit got into some advanced interior design and fashion like REAL QUICK. your learning curve is INSANE. and trying to murder your siblings? yeah, sure, man. hella polite. you're a model citizen.

and where the everliving hell were blonde dude's parents? did he just wander off into the fucking woods with his miniature reindeer, never to be heard from again? did NO ONE look for him? what did he EAT IN MAGIC ICE LAND with only rock trolls to raise him? was he kidnapped by the weird, rock-trolls? did the trolls kill his parents? was he already an orphan? why is there NO INFORMATION ON THIS.

AND THE TROLLS. trolls are not jolly. they do not sing things. but, i mean, okay. no-mag suspension of belief glasses on BUT STILL. and, don't get me wrong here, trolls are definitely a part of scandinavian mythology as a whole? but EVEN THOSE trolls? would not want to marry you off to semi-attractive gingers. they'd either force you to become their child-bride and pet their hair at night or they'd straight up assault you.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND. also, i respect the fact that my sister has to go out, but i don't WANT to go see it again tomorrow.

wow, sarah. hurtful.

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auteur
2016-12-21 08:50 pm UTC (link)

OK first of all man: SPOILERS????? Some of us are still stuck at Gooseberry!!!! There's no movie theatres here!!! I mean there's no movie theatres back home either so I was DOOMED either way but some of us practice the BASIC COURTESY of not writing spoilers while the movie's still playing.

Ha ha jk dude I don't really care that much about spoilers. OK so, ASIDE FROM THE PLOT AND CHARACTERS, was it still a good movie tho?????

(Reply to this) (Thread)

suchaguppy
2016-12-21 08:58 pm UTC (link)

I'M SORRY. i'm sorry, i do know that rule i am not an actual heathen and my father would be very disappointed if he was reading this BUT NONE OF MY SISTERS WILL LISTEN TO ME ANYMORE AND SARAH'S VERBALLY - textually? TEXTUALLY ABUSIVE.

very pretty. good music. not COMPLETELY horrible. or at least i think it wasn't, i've seen it too many times now to be completely certain. watch it once. bathe in the impressiveness of disney's ability to animate snow like goddamn professionals.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	adorbs 2016-12-21 09:01 pm UTC (link)
	Bb you are just as beautiful as Elsa, if you want to be. But I SAW THIS!! It is so cute omg. Also, Logicking Disney will only lead to sadness so. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	suchaguppy 2016-12-21 09:05 pm UTC (link)
	clearly i am not. it's official. verdict has come down from on midgety high. THINGS I HAVE LEARNED ON MY WINTER VACATION: i cannot walk on snow in stilettoes and i am less beautiful than elsa. might as well jump off the brooklyn bridge now and be done with it. it's not cute anymore. it stopped being cute the fifth time. it's now my personal hell. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	adorbs 2016-12-21 09:11 pm UTC (link)
	UMMM step right off bc beauty is in the eye of the beholder and also you can totally learn to walk in snow in stilettos. There is still hope!!!! Ok so maybe five is a lot of times. What else is out rn? Maybe they'd go to that instead? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	suchaguppy 2016-12-21 09:16 pm UTC (link)
	nah, man. i'm a lost cause. it's time to go live in a cave. and ALAS i am not an elf. i sink like the bismarck. but with way less nazis. there is nothing else. being at boarding school means i'm on babysitting duty. i could MAYBE convince gracie to see 'the hobbit' with me, but sarah's a demon. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	adorbs 2016-12-21 09:36 pm UTC (link)
	All the caves are rly icy I hear, I wouldn't recommend. Hmmmmmm. What else do they like to do?? There are ALWAYS distractions! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	qnnc 2016-12-21 09:18 pm UTC (link)
	There's a good pun about 'unravelling,' Disney, and Tangled here but I can't put my finger on it... (Reply to this) (Thread)

	suchaguppy 2016-12-21 09:20 pm UTC (link)
	SEE NOW THAT MOVIE WAS FINE. that movie didn't make me want to rend my own face with my nails and/or slam my head into a wall repeatedly. because if sarah asks me if i want to build a goddamn snowman one more time, i WILL cry. it will not be even a little bit manly and i will not care. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	qnnc 2016-12-21 09:24 pm UTC (link)
	How many times in a row did you have to see it? Have you tried actually building a snowman with her? Added bonus: silencing charms on your generous earmuffs. Boom, solitude. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	doobwaa 2016-12-21 09:18 pm UTC (link)
	Wow dude, I haven't even read it all and I think. TAKE A CHILL PILL. (Reply to this) (Thread)