DISORDER SOCIAL MEDIA

TO: Lumos Boot

[1] This is JMD. Heard the news. I'm so sorry.
[2] Not much I can do but please let me know if I can help in any way.
[...]

TO: Lakshmi Patil

[x] Do you want to
[1] This is JMD. How is LB doing?

TO: Byron Kettleburn

[1] "Are you completely out of your mind?"

TO: Byron

[1] It's getting kind of late!
[2] Are you coming hom back soon?
[...]
[3] Sorry if you're in the zone or something~
[4] I just wanted to double check!
[...]
[5] Because you know there's that whole thing going on right now!
[6] So if you could just hext me back!
[...]
[7] I hope you didn't fall asleep
[8] I know you've not been sleeping very well but
[...]
[9] I don't know! I'm kind of worried!
[...]
[10] Can you answer the phone?
[11] Please?
[...]
[12] Or hext me back!
[13] If you're too busy to talk!
[...]
[14] How are you not answering your phone right now?
[...]
[15] Byron????
[16] This has to be really annoying!
[...]
[17] I didn't do something wrong, did I?
[...]
[18] BYRON, ANSWER ME!

TO: Byron

Byron!

BYRON, GWEN [separately]

[1] The wards are down at the warehouse.
[2] Sneaking this evening’s Beacon into the printed Prophet copies seemed easier though, likely less magical defence around it due to the same problems.

TO: Byron

[x] Hi! How ar
[x] I saw
[x] So
[x] Hey
[x] Hi
[x] Hello
[1] Hey
[2] I was in Hogsmeade today and I saw Terry

TO: Lakshmi

[1] I think I have to return that blue jumper I bought today!
[2] I don't like it anymore :(

TO: Byron

[x] Hi so
[x] Last night I
[x] So I'm dying
[x] Hey
[x] Hi!
[x] I have to tell you som
[x] How are yo
[x] Hi
[1] Hello.

@lordruthven: Death Eaters blame string of Death Eater attacks on muggle kitchen fires: "We kept turning the gas on and convincing them they'd forgotten to turn it off."
@lordruthven: Well-respected duelling instructor murdered, leaving students unprepared for attackers who ignore rules of duelling: "We expected civility. Our training never prepared us for barbarism."
@lordruthven: Listeners shocked by newest winternet podcasts: "We only trust reputable news sources, even when they're lying to us."

TO: Byron

[1] Lovegood's house is rubble. He's been arrested
[2] Is supporting the regime better or worse than writing clickbait about the existence of towels in Star Wars?

@lordruthven: Ministry official Gah Spag recommends recount in Robards and Nott election face-off "until we get the result we want"
@lordruthven: Tinworth child questioned by DMLE in connection with death threats received by neighborus. She claimed they destroyed her snowman and "I just said what the Death Eaters said to my mum and dad."
@lordruthven: Pureblood man seen clutching wife's pearls outside purist charity exhibit following vandalism: "We can't even brag about own families without having dicks drawn on our faces!"
@lordruthven: Halfbloods given new normals for Christmas shopping with Ministry IDs. Umbridge said, "It's perfectly simple. Purebloods pay regular price, halfbloods pay more. See, it's not a discount!"

@lordruthven: Man who witnessed Ministry protests says he's always wanted to join an angry mob before promptly boarding a lift: 'There's just never been a good time. Maybe someday.'
@lordruthven: Minister Thicknesse denied potions from St Mungo's after misplacing his ID. Witnesses claim he begged them, shouting, 'Please, it's the only way I can sleep at night!'
@lordruthven: The Daily Prophet announces plans to continue publishing lies: 'From now on, we will only publish the truth,' Malfoy said, lying through her teeth.
@lordruthven: Fenrir Greyback denies allegations of corruption and violating Ministry truce, citing loophole: 'I don't kill them anymore, I just turn them.'
@lordruthven: Department of Magical Games and Sports becomes new front for Death Eater recruitment under Lucius Malfoy: 'It's time for the athletes to play for a new team.'

@lordruthven: BREAKING NEWS: Public life easier to navigate than ever with nowhere left to go
@lordruthven: Mother of Knockturn Alley gamer laments ID program: 'Now I'll never get him out of the house'
@lordruthven: Madam Umbridge reports new Ministry IDs good for bowel and colon health: 'It will not cause you to evacuate your bowels'
@lordruthven: DMLE considers handcuffing hitwizards to promote safety: 'Our hands just aren't tied enough to protect the public yet'
@lordruthven: Ministry names cobblestones as greatest threat to peace in Diagon Alley: 'A broken ankle could ruin someone's day'

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