@lordruthven: Man who witnessed Ministry protests says he's always wanted to join an angry mob before promptly boarding a lift: 'There's just never been a good time. Maybe someday.' @lordruthven: Minister Thicknesse denied potions from St Mungo's after misplacing his ID. Witnesses claim he begged them, shouting, 'Please, it's the only way I can sleep at night!' @lordruthven: The Daily Prophet announces plans to continue publishing lies: 'From now on, we will only publish the truth,' Malfoy said, lying through her teeth. @lordruthven: Fenrir Greyback denies allegations of corruption and violating Ministry truce, citing loophole: 'I don't kill them anymore, I just turn them.' @lordruthven: Department of Magical Games and Sports becomes new front for Death Eater recruitment under Lucius Malfoy: 'It's time for the athletes to play for a new team.'