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[Nov. 27th, 2008|03:21 pm] |
Lilith, where the fuck are you and your woman? I'm going to be very sore with you if Mary's pumpkin pie spoils before I get the chance to eat it. |
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[Sep. 27th, 2008|12:35 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | adam, cassidy turner, eve, god, julien boudreaux, kon-el, lilith, lucifer, megatron, mia jesbar, sam winchester, satan, sonya blade, stephen colbert, the functionary | ] |
Ahh, that's better. A month of skeeball and porn really gives a deity a fresh look at things, you know?
So who missed me? And who can I smite? I had some reeeeeally long naps for awhile there. |
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[Jul. 21st, 2008|11:17 pm] |
Pardon me, but could someone let me know what manner of planet it is that I've come to be on? Nothing is familiar and it's so busy! |
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[Apr. 25th, 2008|11:52 am] |
So this Bible mess? Ridiculous. God's cruel the first half, then suddenly changes his tune at the New Testament. And humanity is expected to just embrace him for his Almighty abuse. People forget all about the fact that God wiped the planet clean and started over... just for the fuck of it. Then he sends Jesus and people fawn.
Please.
Sounds like God realized he fucked up with Adam and Eve so he sent Jesus to fix it up. But instead of admitting a mistake, he makes it sound like he's doing everybody a favor. And poor Jesus. For all his trouble, he gets murdered and betrayed and God doesn't do a damn thing to save him.
Also? Where'd the rumors start about me being a child eating demon? Bullshit. Just because I couldn't bow down before a man and the Almighty. And me being a child eating demon who's married to Satan? I didn't even know Satan. She's a cutie, yeah. But I don't think I'm doing marriage again. Ever. Once was more than enough for me. |
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[Apr. 20th, 2008|12:49 pm] |
I don't know what this Bible thing is about. I need to read it when I have nothing better to do than sit on my ass and waste my time on however many pages. It's some long winded shit. I don't think I'm going to like it. The way those kids were talking about God being all knowing and good and all that bullshit. And Jesus. I don't know who that is, but he loves little children and that sounds wrong to me. I've loved many a person, but never a little child. No one seemed upset by it, either. Like loving children is okay. This place is strange.
Maybe it's just me, I don't know.
So I asked these kids who it was that taught them all this shit. And they said it was me. I replaced some God-lover. A God-lover with ugly clothes, at that. You should look at some of the shit in this closet. But anyway. They said I was a Sunday school teacher. Which, thanks to the internet, I now know means someone who teaches about religion. Which means teaching about God. Teaching happy lies about God being sweet and merciful and loving. Fucking figures, right?
So when little Timmy asked me what God was like, I told him the honest answer. Poor boy's been lied to all his life, he deserves to know the truth, right? God's an asshole who will happily create you, fuck around with you, and then toss you aside when He gets bored. I told them my story. None of them knew about it. Some of the kids didn't like that so much. Their parents liked it even less.
So I'm out a job.
Oops. |
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[Apr. 17th, 2008|05:06 pm] |
God? A word please? |
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[Apr. 17th, 2008|05:38 pm] |
This is new.
First, I'm purged from the garden for not bending to that idiot's every whim. Then three angels come after me for being a bad, bad girl. I thought things were settled. Nod was decent. It wasn't Eden, but then I wasn't forced to listen to complaining all the time. Or boring sermons from the Almighty. That shit gets tired. I was okay in Nod. I had some fun there. Then I wake up here. Figures.
What is this place? Another weak attempt at punishment? Bring it on, God. I can take it. I'm still not not apologizing or going back to that place. |
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[Apr. 1st, 2008|12:20 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | antigone grace, bela talbot, dean winchester, eve, god, jason todd, metallicar, miniver cheevy, sam winchester, steven hyde, the exile | ] |
NOTICE:
I do not love a certain Ms. Bela Talbot. The things that I love are as follows:
1) My dog.
2) My car.
3) Beer.
4) Tits. (These include all breasts on women, paid for or God-given, and thereby include Ms. Talbot's, but not because she's special.)
5) My brother. (Mostly because I'm supposed to, something about family and crap.)
6) Taquitos.
7) Those squishy ball things that are supposed to relieve stress.
8) Whipped cream. (See also number 4; if number 4 has whipped cream, then can move up past number 1.)
THIS IS IT. IF YOU ARE NOT ON THE LIST, YOU ARE NOT LOVED. PERIOD. |
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[Mar. 27th, 2008|06:45 pm] |
Eve: Sorry it's taken me so long to put up notice for you, but I would be honored if you want to be my dula
We know it's a boy, and the theoretical due date is May 19th.
We're at [address] and feel free to stop by anytime, or you can call, [number]
Everyone else: Who wants to come keep the pregnant woman company this Saturday while her husband's off finding a county fair? |
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[Mar. 26th, 2008|05:55 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | alexandra cabot, amber volakis, eve, glados, god, greg house, james wilson, jasper badun, lisa cuddy, lucifer, rebecca house, shane mccutcheon, slevin kelevra, tara house, thirteen | ] |
This is what happens when you download too much porn. You end up in another dimension where Cuddy owns her own hospital? This is God laughing at me right? Note to self: Midget porn = another dimension. |
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[Mar. 22nd, 2008|08:18 pm] |
I attended a cultish church-type meeting against myself today.
And I'm racking up 5 of the 7 deadly sins. Pass a hotter version of Adam my way and I'm sure I can get up to 6. Send me more than one and 7 is a defiant.
And Easter's tomorrow. I mean, I know most of the ways I think are somehow connected to religion but I feel like it's following me around. |
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[Mar. 21st, 2008|08:44 pm] |
Here's the skinny.
We need to re-buy absolutely EVERYTHING we already bought for our nursery back home. This isn't so much a problem, but with my wife due in about six weeks, we're in crunch mode.
Anyone who has any unused baby stuff (Newborn & Infant stuff would be great!) that they need to sell or get rid of would be highly appreciated if they call [phone number] or post here. We're expecting a boy.
We're also looking for a midwife, and other parents of babies that wouldn't mind having play-dates with a couple of rocker hippies and their kiddo. I'll be looking forward to hearing from you guys! |
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[Mar. 20th, 2008|08:53 pm] |
God, I didn't do anything this time. I swear. |
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