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[Aug. 20th, 2009|03:27 am] |
I am bored and unamused.
Any ideas on what I can do? Remember, I was once the Captain of a Starship and used to be able to go where ever I wanted to in the universe, so entertaining me while I'm marooned here on earth may not be the easiest thing to do. |
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[Jul. 30th, 2009|10:29 pm] |
( Cassandra Cain )
So I'm told that bitches ain't shit.
I could use some verification on this. Are bitches shit? Are they hoes or, in fact, tricks?
I will investigate for science! |
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[Jul. 8th, 2009|09:13 am] |
This seems quite unusual. Why am I an organic life form? |
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[Jun. 4th, 2009|09:20 pm] |
Hey, Anne? I was thinking about our house err...ranch in Texas and all the animals...and I remembered that I um, don't know how to ride a horse. Dad never covered that in Demon Hunting 101.
Shut up, Dean. I can hear you laughing from here. |
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[Jun. 1st, 2009|07:12 pm] |
Earth? This can't be right. I was on my way back to Trill... |
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[May. 12th, 2009|08:27 pm] |
Jason, that's not fucking funny. |
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[Apr. 6th, 2009|10:14 pm] |
[Blocked against Reggie and David (the one from Animorphs)]
Okay so who knows this David kid. The one that's been hitting on my sister. |
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[Mar. 27th, 2009|02:06 pm] |
I'm doing a little better. But clearly you people didn't notice my previous post, where I instructed one of you to come and take away the wedding cake.
Fuckers.
Don't bother now, I ate it. All of it. Which is why I wanted one of you to take it away, so we could avoid all this.
Fuckers.
In other news, new superpowers are annoying. Taking a walk through the park is much less relaxing when you can understand birdsong. "Hey! Hey bird in the next tree! Let's fuck!" "This is my tree! Fuck off, other birds, this is my tree!" "I POOP ON YOUR CAR!" |
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[Mar. 15th, 2009|02:00 am] |
Cassandra's gone. So I suppose the wedding is off.
I already paid for the cake, so, you know. Free cake. Horrifically tragic cake. But it's got butter cream frosting, so, you know. Still good. |
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[Feb. 26th, 2009|04:28 am] |
Oh my good lord.
This is the first time in weeks I've had three days in a row without nausea.
Dean, Robbie, I think this calls for minor celebration. Lulu, Navi, anyone else. |
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[Feb. 18th, 2009|09:08 pm] |
Huh? Am I dead? |
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[Jan. 15th, 2009|07:07 pm] |
Hey, guys? My friend is having a hard time sleeping.. Nightmares and stuff. Are there any potions that could help him? |
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[Jan. 11th, 2009|10:31 pm] |
James Tiberius Potter! Making a 'booty call' to me at three in the morning?! You're married, sir, married! This behaviour is entirely inappropriate and thoroughly unappreciated, sir! |
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[Dec. 21st, 2008|07:06 pm] |
A note to all men of the Skwigelf clan:
No, you are not allowed to hang mistletoe from your genitals. Yes, it was very very clever at some point, but not so much now. Your loved ones will thank you. |
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[Dec. 15th, 2008|12:56 am] |
So, ladies of the world, maybe you've been tempted by that peppermint soap they make. I am here to tell you, ignore that temptation!
I want to say this tactfully. It... hmm. It burned my vagina. I got peppermint oil in my vagina and now it burns like a motherfucker. God only knows what it would be like if I'd used the cinnamon! My entire vagina would have burned out! Burned out!
So don't use peppermint soap in the bathtub or near your vagina. Practice safe soap.
Man, it's as bad as the first time I shaved my whatnot and used aftershave. Old Spice and junk do not go together, friends. |
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[Dec. 4th, 2008|01:10 am] |
Wedding planning is a pain in the ass. Or so I'm told, since I haven't done any of it yet. Should probably get on that.
Carrie, you're in charge of getting Cass into a dress. I'll handle getting her out of it.
Death, we need to walk and/or talk.
Cass, you need to let Carrie get you into a dress and try to keep her from groping you too much.
Dick, you need to sexually exhaust your woman so that she doesn't steal mine.
Ready? Break! |
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[Nov. 25th, 2008|11:06 am] |
I win. |
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[Oct. 17th, 2008|02:31 pm] |
The Cuddy Medical Center is now open for business.
If anyone needs medical attention in London, that's your best bet.
Now I just need one in LA and I've got a monopoly. |
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[Oct. 17th, 2008|01:17 pm] |
( Jason ) |
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[Sep. 26th, 2008|08:14 pm] |
Is there anyone here that wouldn't mind teaching me a martial art?
The counselor believes that if I learn to let out my frustration in a controlled environment, I'll be less likely to bottle it up inside. <strike> and not lash out at anyone </strike>
She gave me a list of schools with their numbers for me to call, but I don't want to make an idiot of myself in front of any class and I can't afford private lessons |
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[Sep. 16th, 2008|03:11 pm] |
[Directed towards good and decent people; no villainy types]:
WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!
Questions were popped, and the answer was a resounding (read: quiet and nervous) yes! Anyone looking to fuck one Jason Todd or one Cassandra Cain should look elsewhere for their romantic needs. |
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[Aug. 23rd, 2008|12:54 am] |
[ | Tags | | | anonymous author, antigone grace, bela talbot, bella swan, dean winchester, doctor phineas waldolf steel, domino, edward cullen, edward wong hau pepelu tivrusky iv, emmett cullen, jason todd, lorna dane, sohma shigure | ] |
Hello, beautiful people of Oz! A lovely day today, wouldn't you agree? I have fabulous news for you all! The Anonymous Author is back from hiatus, and has sent quite a delicious spread for you all to enjoy.
( Fun with the penal system )
( The family that hunts demons together stays together )
( Diamonds really are a girl's best friend )
As always, any feedback will be forwarded directly to the Anonymous Author, who always loves hearing from his adoring fans. |
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[Aug. 18th, 2008|03:11 am] |
Voice Post [No Joker-Lovers Allowed]
All right, between the broken wrist, the burns, and the damaged girlfriend, I have had to learn to masturbate with my off hand.
It is slow going. |
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[Aug. 3rd, 2008|12:15 am] |
( Cass ) |
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[Jul. 28th, 2008|11:01 pm] |
So Bruce! When do we get to have the Big Family Function to meet the pretty girl who stole your heart? We have to do something to recognize the fact that you and l'il Dick are the only exogamous members of our incestuous little clan here.
I'd host it, but Cass and I can barely fit ourselves around the dinner table, much less the rest of us. |
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[Jul. 27th, 2008|12:15 am] |
[ | Tags | | | ageless bill turner, antigone grace, bobby singer, dean winchester, henry townshend, jason todd, john winchester, lorna dane, sam winchester, solvei samuels, teague brennan | ] |
Yeah, so, I'm back and all in one piece. I didn't see a single gigantic insect, and kind of feel ripped off. Anyway. Here's your loot guys. I'll come bring it over soon.
Bree: I hope you like this. It seemed interesting.
Teague: I don't even know, it seemed like something you'd like. And to be regional, some Ozirocks.
Bill and Jack: Thought you guys would like this.
Anne: I got you one of everything here. Literally.
Sammy, Bobby, John: I got you a shitload of beer each from Morgan's. (No, seriously, you won't need beer for at least another six months.) |
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[Jul. 25th, 2008|12:05 pm] |
That... probably could have been worse.
( Jason )
( Ollie )
( Cass )
( Bruce ) |
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[Jul. 17th, 2008|10:49 pm] |
Dear Queen:
You're lucky that you're one of my favorite bands, or else I might be holding a grudge against you for having this song stuck in my head. As it is, I'm only mildly annoyed.
Yours,
Jason Peter Todd
PS: Heeeeeeere we are! Born to be kings, we're the princes of the universe! |
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[Jul. 9th, 2008|10:26 pm] |
Things growing up with Batman teaches you: martial arts, gymnastics, computer repair, auto repair, antiquing, literature, biology, chemistry, physics, juggling, anthropology, foreign languages (having a fraction of the anthromorphic personification of Death living by your eye socket helps, though), sociology, psychology, philosophy, deductive reasoning, police procedure, forensics, survival techniques, first aid, yoga, feng shui, massage, armed combat, pyrotechnics, legerdemain, illusion, grace under fire, cleverness, meditation techniques, and well more than I can remember off the top of my head.
Things growing up with Batman does not teach you: how to bake a cheesecake.
My apartment smells like burnt egg and cream cheese. While it airs out, those interested in contacting my fine Amazonian backside can find me at the nearest bakery I can find. |
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[Jun. 30th, 2008|03:51 pm] |
( Private )
So, Cass. Cassie. Cassoo. You can stop hiding now. You're not going to spontaneously fall in love with some stranger. It's over now. Let's get some ice cream and make out, in that order. |
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[Jun. 17th, 2008|11:18 pm] |
The things that I love are as follows (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER):
1) My dog. 2) My car. 3) Beer. 4) Tits. (These include all breasts on women, paid for or God-given, and thereby include Ms. Talbot's, but not because she's special.) 5) My brother. (Mostly because I'm supposed to, something about family and crap.) 6) Taquitos. 7) Those squishy ball things that are supposed to relieve stress. 8) Whipped cream. (See also number 4; if number 4 has whipped cream, then can move up past number 1.) 9) Bela Talbot. (AKA: The new future Mrs. Dean Winchester.) |
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[May. 27th, 2008|02:07 am] |
I just got engaged.
I just got engaged.
How in the name of the Force does one plan a wedding on this planet? |
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