NOTICE: I do not love a certain Ms. Bela Talbot. The things that I love are as follows:
1) My dog. 2) My car. 3) Beer. 4) Tits. (These include all breasts on women, paid for or God-given, and thereby include Ms. Talbot's, but not because she's special.) 5) My brother. (Mostly because I'm supposed to, something about family and crap.) 6) Taquitos. 7) Those squishy ball things that are supposed to relieve stress. 8) Whipped cream. (See also number 4; if number 4 has whipped cream, then can move up past number 1.)
THIS IS IT. IF YOU ARE NOT ON THE LIST, YOU ARE NOT LOVED. PERIOD.