#culturejournals

S10+Belinda, minus Pip (but including Evan because Otto)

UMMMMMM

DID ANYONE ELSE KNOW PIP'S A DEATH EATER??? LIKE A REAL HONEST TO GOD MURDERS PEOPLE DEATH EATER???

Pip (added later)

 
 
 
Hey

You know what's not cool? Reshoots. Reshoots fucking suck. First there were all the new lines cause they rewrote half the movie now we're reshooting the parts we already did cause I guess it's not "authentic" enough or something. IDK IDK I thought Benjy was a good guy? Where does a healer learn to crucio someone anyway? Plus Franco's in the hospital and the premiere's in less than 3 weeks and we have to reshoot the whole fight scene and being an actor's really hard.

S10 + Belinda

Let's get drunk.

I WANT MY BALL BACK

S10 + Belinda (Added later)

MAYDAY MAYDAY WHO KNOWS SOMETHING ABOUT THE IMPERIUS THING?

So there's this big ministry party thing in a couple weeks and I need a date! Who wants to go with me? You get to sit at one of the WizVis tables with lots of hot people plus free food and best part is all the pics you get to be in with me! Anyone who wants can sign up and I'll put all your names in a hat and draw the winner! It'll be like Win A Date with Otto Bagman!!!

I promise I'll keep you distracted for all the boring speeches.

ALSO make sure you watch the LIVE Drink of Love finale next Tuesday cause I'm totally going to win. And it's LIVE! Everything's better LIVE!

S10 + Belinda

Don't worry, you can help me screen them!

Or you can come with whatever. Who else is going to this thing anyway?

Gawain & Ludo

I promise not to go with anyone who wants to kill me!

ARM! ARM! THERES AN ARM IN THE SKY WITH MY BROTHERS NAME NOT OKAY!!!


also a dark mark

Ludo??? Please don't be dead.

S10 + Belinda (later)

I think Death Eaters want to kill my brother. 😱😱😱

DMLE (even later)

OI OI I SAID BODY PARTS IN DIAGON ALLEY

So I know everyone's really sad right now because Benjy was a really great guy. And Marcus was super cool aside from the whole secretly a murderer thing. But here's some news that should cheer everyone up! I just got off the phone with my agent and she's pitching A Tale of Tragedy and Triumph and Tragedy Again: The Unauthorized Benjy Fenwick Story to the people who did the Carrow movie. With me as Benjy Fenwick, of course. She thinks it's pretty much a lock. And with a much lower mortality rate!

Get it trending! "GIVE US #AToTaTaTA:TUBFS!!!"

It's JUNE! June's gonna to be great. I can FEEL it.

I hope you all caught the premeer first episode of Drink of Love II with Lorcan D'Eath last night! If you didn't you SO missed out but good news! It's gonna be reairing this afternoon and then again on Sunday morning and also next week on Monday at like 3am or something and then right before the new NEW episode airs next Thursday. Really you should be watching it ALL FIVE TIMES because there's so much smart stuff in every episode you really have to watch it a bunch to catch it all. Like last night's when Cordelia was dragging Phineas across the room by the ponytail you can totally see me and my girl Belinda laughing in the background. And then when SOMEONE doesn't take getting cut too well and tries to set Lorcan on fire you can TOTALLY see me trying to save him before Brutus tackles me into th pool.

ALSO speaking of my girl Belinda I hope you all ready the KICKARSE piece all about her in yesterday's Prophet. Ms Skeeter you made her sound really great. Think you could do that for me one of these days?

Pip

So [...] congrats?

Everything is a DISASTER. One of the girls from Drink of Death II QUIT. We're supposed to start shooting MONDAY. IDK what happened!!! She was super hot and I totally thought we had a thing going but now she's GONE and Matt says it's because she was sleeping with the producer which yeah probably but Phineas says its because she thought Lorcan was creepy which I mean HOW? He's so hot. He showed me his FANGS and everything. Cordelia says she's dead but I mean that doesn't happen. We're actors.

ANYWAY if anyone wants their chance at a romantic weekend with Lorcan D'Eath they should totally join the cast. The producers said I should ask my fans and get someone to join. So you should. One of you. Except you can't win because I'm gonna. It's gonna be amazing. We have a hot tub party in EVERY EPISODE.

I have THE MOST EXCITING NEWS!!!!

WizVis just greenlighted A DRINK OF LOVE II WITH LORCAN D'EATH! And I get to be one of the contestants! My agent totally had to negotiate cause of Sexual Healing and stuff but this isn't for the fame or anything. This is for LOVE. Okay not really love but A WEEKEND GETAWAY WITH LORCAN D'EATH!!! I used to have a poster of him on my walls and everything.

But don't worry Sexual Healing fans! Intern Otto will still be on your screens every week, taking off his shirt and swimming in the St. Mango's pool.

Belinda

YOU'RE TOTALLY IN!!!

I talked to my agent and she talked to the production people and they said they'd LOVE to have you and they totally need a Lush so if you want it it's yours! Also they're promising a totally lower death rate than #ToTBoLTUAaACS. But if we're in the final two and you win over me I'm going to 😭😭😭.

She wouldn't tell me what my type is though. IDK what are guy types on these shows? Is there a stud?

Slytherin '10

Okay for real though. When are we getting drinks to celebrate???

So I know everyone's all sad and stuff because of Derwent and I am too. I mean I KNEW him and now he's dead. But it's Friday night!!! People should come drink with me! First round is on me to anyone who gets to Grim's Alley in the next half hour. Second rounds on me if you're hot!!! Derwent would totally approve.

BELINDA!

I heard you nearly DIED yesterday!!! Is it TRUE? Are you OKAY? I hope they fired whoever was responsible. How would they even make the movie without YOU???

Also that's really sad about the dead Muggleborns and stuff. We'd never let that happen at St. Mango's. Unless it's sweeps week.

Slytherin '10

Okay IDK why you guys are so busy all the time when you're not famous WizVis stars or anything but can we just find a night where ALL of us can go get drinks???

So I know everyone's all hurt and stuff and that's really terrible but I have a VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT.

The whole cast of Sexual Healing is coming to St. Mungo's tonight! All the real healers have been working SO HARD and must be SO EXHAUSTED so we're gonna come help out. And sign autographs and stuff.

Dibs on the Benjy Fenwick part in the Benjy Fenwick movie! He's fit and all but I'm fitter. Working title: A Tale of Tragedy and Triumph: The Unauthorized Fenwick Story.

Sorry about your dad, mate.