#culturejournals

WARDED TO JOHNA

I was going to include you on the group hext where I sent out pictures of my sister's surprise wedding today, but apparently someone changed their mobile number...

WARDED TO NATALYA

In case you missed it, I left my resignation letter with your assistant.

WARDED TO GOLDSTEINS

If I were to tell you that we're soon going to be living in a word where dueling is a legal form of dispute resolution, what would you say to that?

WARDED TO PPL WHO RESIGNED FROM THE DMLE

I left the Ministry today. Hold your applause, because I have some bad news. They're going to be implementing an unemployment tax. I'll just leave this here - "Any witch or wizard who is not currently paying income taxes to the Ministry, whether due to unemployment or employment in an 'under-the-table' arrangement where Ministry income taxes are not deducted from their paycheck, shall be responsible for providing a monthly payment to the Ministry in the amount of the average monthly income taxes paid in the second quarter of 2016."

This is, apparently, to ensure that every witch and wizard is contributing their "fair share" to the functioning of Wizarding society. So - do with that what you will.

WARDED TO JO & FINN

I'm leaving the Ministry. I'm going in tomorrow to pick some things up from the office, but after that I'm done. I just wanted both of you to know first.

WARDED TO FINN

Give me one good reason why I shouldn't quit my job.

WARDED TO BECCA

I will support whatever you decide to do. But if you're going to do anything that the people in power would consider...questionable...then I can't know about it. I mean, please don't become a vigilante, but the less I know is probably the better.

WARDED TO ADAM & ZEE

So. Registration. What do you think?

WARDED TO AMELIA

I read the manifesto. I can't say I quite agree with the method, but at this point I don't have a lot of hope for changing things from the inside. So. It's complicated! While I can't join you, if you were to need anything that wasn't strictly outside of the law...I could possibly help out with that. Or at the very least I won't actively try to stop you.

WARDED TO GOLDSTEINS

I met with Rodolphus Lestrange last week. Before you say anything, yes, I know it wasn't the most responsible idea but I needed to hear about the salary changes from the source. The whole thing was weird and he had this 'reassuring face' on the whole time and I hope that I never have to meet with him again. Anyway, seems any sort of career advancement in the Ministry comes only after you become a Death Eater. I just thought you might like to know, if you didn't know already.

Don't know if you've heard, but the cafe by the Ministry is having a special! Free pastry with your morning coffee until the end of August. Something about a fruit that's going out of season soon so they need to make every pastry possible in the next two weeks. I knew this job had its perks!

WARDED TO JOHNA, EIRI, JUDE, DEVI, BERTIE

I had a meeting with Rodolphus Lestrange yesterday, about the pay cuts. Long story short (I think the kids say "TL;DR"), he told me the only way to receive a pay increase was to make some sort of "lifelong commitment" to the ideals of the new Ministry. One can only guess what that means! (But I'm willing to bet it's a bit more extreme than just a very strict non-compete.) It also seemed Lestrange was insinuating that if I valued the safety of my family (and I do!), I'd make sure my loyalties were with the Ministry.

Devi, Bertie, not sure how any of this would apply to Muggleborns (and I'd obviously understand if you're not too keen on the idea of taking a meeting with Death Eater Rodolphus Lestrange). You also might want to talk to Becca, see if there's anything the MDL can do - but I will say that I've checked out the legal stuff for the new rules and it actually holds up, which is annoying. BTW, I'd suggest keeping your opinions on the new Ministry either to yourself or to a trusted group of people...but I'm hoping that goes without saying.

Also, double and triple check your packages...someone sent me a cursed phone today. If that's one of their intimidation tactics, I have to admit it worked! 😒

WARDED TO FRIENDS

If they're only going to pay me 75% of my salary, then I'm only going to do 75% of the work.

WARDED TO FINN

So. I swung by your flat earlier. Imagine my surprise when I couldn't get in! Do it. Just imagine my surprise. Are you imagining it?

WARDED TO ADAM & ZEE

We need to talk!

In case anyone was wondering, Pumpkin's phone protection plans are shit! Because apparently we can't have anything good in this world! Keep that in mind when shopping for a new device.

WARDED TO FINN & JOHNA

Are you staying? At the Ministry I mean

WARDED TO BECCA

I miss you and I'm being driven to madness.

WARDED TO FINN, JOHNA, IMELDA

I'm all for Death Eaters being convicted and punished for their crimes, but

A tribunal?????

WARDED TO BECCA

I feel like that little dog in that meme where everything is on fire and he's holding his cup of coffee and saying, "This is fine!" How's your day going?

I'm very proud to have been a part of the team responsible for Magda Gibbon's sentencing. We're still at war, but there's one less Death Eater out there - I'll take that victory! This one's for you, Ros.

WARDED TO TEAM GIBBON & AMELIA

Great work all around, everyone. I feel like we should celebrate, or something. At least a drink or two? And then we can all get back to focusing on locking up the rest of these bastards.

WARDED TO 03 FRIENDS

How is everyone doing? I'm sad. I know not everyone was friends with Alana, but any time someone you've known since 1992 dies...yeah. Her and Rajan were both great people.

WARDED TO ZEE

So. How are you?

WARDED TO ADAM

Hi.

1) Against my better judgment, I caught up on the last 3 episodes of Sexual Healing that I'd missed when I should've been working. However, I have no regrets! All work and no play, you know. Anyway, really pleased with where the stories are headed going into the hiatus -- I was a little skeptical about Clarice and the dragon breeder, but wow! I did NOT see that ending coming.

2) It's Friday! Nothing to add to this, I just started off making a list and now I feel the need to see it through. Please remember to enjoy your weekends responsibly...and legally!

3) Did you know the Ministry cafeteria has blueberries again?

No matter what your personal feelings on werewolves might be, I encourage everyone to think twice - maybe thrice - why not four times? - before petitioning the Wizengamot. Just one extra minute of thought is all I ask! We will, of course, take seriously any and all legitimate concerns. (An example of a concern that might not be legitimate: drawing up five different petitions to remove your neighbour from his home because you suspect he may be an unregistered werewolf because he hasn't shaved in weeks and once claimed to enjoy the Muggle TV Show "Teen Wolf.")

WARDED TO FRIENDS & GOLDSTEINS (WHO ARE ALSO FRIENDS)

My birthday is on Saturday! And it's the end of Passover, and the Three Broomsticks is reopening...we've got about twelve things to celebrate. Please join me, because I might even stay out past midnight - and I know you don't want to miss that.

WARDED TO JOHNA

Hey. I heard about what happened. I'm so sorry. Let me know if you need anything.

WARDED TO GOLDSTEINS

I'm changing the wards on our house - I'll let you know about the new ones. In terms of people working on the Gibbon case, I'm not very high up on the list but at this point it's better to be safe. How's everyone doing?

WARDED TO FINN

Well, this has been a fun month so far.

WARDED TO MALE FRIENDS*

Becca caught me taking selfies with Anthony again and said I should stop spending all of my free time with a one-year-old. So! Hang out with me? Please? I am envisioning an evening of herbal tea and quiet meditation.

(Just kidding.)

My only requirement is that no one talks about work, because we're supposed to be having fun.


* - can't remember who everyone is, so throw yourself into the party! let's be friends!

"The way forward, however, is to collectively fix what does not work, not to ignore and disobey those parts of the law with which one conveniently does not agree."

My fellow witches and wizards, listen to Nico Barbary. I honestly can't say any of his points any better, so I'll just encourage you to read the op-ed. And, of course, I'll encourage you to bring any and all of your concerns about criminal activity to the DMLE. Vigilantism is only cool when Daredevil does it. (And even then it's violent, gut-wrenching, and dangerous.)

WARDED TO FRIENDS

Rebecca's come down with the flu. It's strange, because - well, we've got two young kids at home, we got vaccinated the minute we were able. And aren't vaccines supposed to prevent you from getting sick? I don't know much about immunology though; could be this new strain is resistant to the last vaccine. Just thought it was odd. I'm feeling perfectly fine at the moment, by the way.

I've been very impressed with the Daily Prophet's work lately - truly great articles and op-eds. I admire anyone who speaks out against the tyranny of the Death Eaters and their ilk. May we all be so bold, and may we all commit ourselves to fighting injustice.

WARDED TO ALANA

I'm sure everyone's been telling you this, but really great article.

WARDED TO GOLDSTEINS

I cried when I read Anita Bones's post yesterday. You know, just sitting in the office on a Saturday, openly sobbing. I wish I was being overdramatic, but I'm not. It's been quite the month - I need the comfort and warmth that only my favourite siblings can provide. Dinner, soon?